Now, for a rousing round of "We Don't Know Your Debtor"

We don't know your debtor, so stop calling.
We don't know your debtor, for the third time in a week.
You can call throughout the year,
But there will be no "Michael" here.
And the fact that our surname's creative
Doesn't mean we're all related.
(We concur that it's unique,
But we aren't the one you seek.)
We don't know your debtor.
We don't know your debtor.
We don't know your debtor, and we're calling the police.

*****************
Seriously, folks. Three times now. And she sounded so surprised when I said that we didn't know him. For. The. Third. Time.

Honestly, the shared last name is just a terrible coincidence. Hardly a big one, either. I mean, if our last name was "Smith", no one would question it. It would not be assumed that we were somehow connected to every other "Smith" in North America.

Anyway, I toasted the skip tracer. And I asked her not to phone here again. I hope that will do the trick; if not, we may need to file a formal complaint. (Fortunately, my years of experience working in a collection agency mean that I know exactly how to do that.)