Evening thoughts

Guilt by association sucks. Especially when no one is guilty of anything in any event.

Many people are stupid. I hate stupidity.

I also hate waiters who accidentally drop raspberry sauce on the seat of my chair while I am in the bathroom changing Mr. Poopy-pants.

On that subject, I hate bathrooms that are not equipped with change stations.

Raspberry sauce on the butt of a brand-new pair of tan corduroy pants is an ugly shade of purple.

When a raspberry sauce stain on the butt of a brand-new pair of tan corduroy pants is rubbed with a bar of Zest soap, the stain remains entrenched in the pants, but it turns a very ugly shade of deep green (almost teal, but uglier), even after it has been rinsed.

My baby is sweet, even when he screams.

Even the most tired baby will not sleep when his diaper is poopy.

Weddings make even the smartest and most logical person nutty.

Crepes are yummy.

J is not a big fan of corn.

In his little black, red and white tuxedo, with two small bits of shredded turkey hanging out of his mouth, J looks like a vampire. It makes me laugh!

Pepsi is not an adequate substitute for Coke.

It is bedtime.

Dear Sirs

Dear J:

I love you, and I understand that you are sick. I am sorry about that. However, I must protest your latest antics.

Warning: May be TMI for some.

I am sorry that you have diarrhea. I wish you did not. But when you have pooped and overflowed your diaper, would you please not try to put your feet in it? And also, while Mommy is trying to change you and keep your feet poop-free, perhaps you could refrain from reaching down and sticking your hand in it. And then grabbing my arm, thereby getting poop on my shirt. And then trying to stick your poop-laden hand in your mouth, forcing Mommy to let go of your feet to save you from ingesting it. And then kicking your feet frantically, spraying the poop all about in the process.

I will try to get your white sleeper clean, because it is cute and Daddy loves how the collar makes you look like Elvis. But I would appreciate it if you wouldn't do your very best to ruin and stain it first.

Love,

Mommy

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Dear H:

One more time, for posterity. The empty toilet paper roll does not stay on the dispenser. It gets removed and thrown in the garbage. The new roll does not go on the counter. It goes on the now-empty dispenser. I can leave an instruction sheet in all of the bathrooms, if you wish.

Love,

T

(Note: To be fair, H is actually far better at housework than am I. This is just my own little pet peeve.)

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Dear Cat:

When J is snuggling in my arms and you leap into my lap, you should not be surprised when J grabs your fur and pulls, or tries to pet it in the wrong direction, or anything else. He is a baby, and he does not know any better. I will try to protect you as best I can, but you are best to just avoid putting yourself in the situation. I can accept your being grumpy, and I love you very much, but if you ever react harshly to the baby, I will give you away. And if you spark my computer one more time, as appears to be your preferred means of retaliation, I will no longer permit you to sit in the office.

Love,

Your Human

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Dear Tutors:

Please refrain from answering questions from students' quizzes prior to the quiz due dates. It is most inappropriate to essentially do a student's homework for him or her. Besides, it is not the job of the course tutor to spoon-feed the students.

Yours truly,

Student

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Dear Blogger:

Please respond to my email. It's been days, and I feel this situation should have been remedied by now.

Sincerely,

Cryptic

Memories From Today

Today, J wore his "Baby's First Christmas" outfit for the first time. It is a very cute soft red sleeper with white feet and cuffs and a red hood with little white ears. The crowning glory is the large reindeer plastered on the butt and down the backs of both legs (complete with little stick-out ears). J looks sweet in it. But the little white ears on the hood sort of resemble horns and, with the hood up and in certain moods, J looks like the demon baby that sat on Rudolph. Cute anyway, though.

(H calls J "Reindeer-Butt" now. J had oatmeal on his face, and H referred to him as "Oatmeal-Face Reindeer-Butt". And this morning, when J was wearing his Randy Raccoon blankie over his face, H called him "Raccoon-Head Reindeer-Butt". Plenty of mileage to be had with that one.)

J is in his crib now. He rolled around until he got close to the side of the crib, then started raking his soother back and forth across the slats, sort of like a tin cup on jailhouse bars. Made me laugh.

J still isn't overly interested in sitting up, but he is capable of it. We sat him up in his crib, and he stayed there for quite some time before he decided lying down was more fun. But it seems to be a matter of choice at this point in time. If we encourage him with a toy (like his little crib activity centre) he is more eager to sit. Still, he prefers to be on the move, and he won't stay still for very long.

J seems to be teething again, and I am awaiting the arrival of the top teeth now. He was more interested in gnawing on his highchair tray than he was in eating today. I have had to break out the Baby Tylenol again.

I hope J sleeps well tonight. H and I could use a decent night's sleep. Tomorrow is J's last swimming lesson, and we have a lot of other stuff on the go as well. This promises to be a very active weekend.

*sigh*

(J is developing his own language a little bit, as a means of communicating with us. When he wants something, his eyes get all wide and he juts his little chin out in the direction of the desired object and says "Mmmmm! Mmmmmmmm!" He's doing it now, and I suspect he is wanting a late night feed before he falls asleep. Off I go.)

To J on his 8 month birthday

My darling J,

I can scarcely believe you are eight whole months old today! You are getting so big. Even though you are still small for your age, I just can't believe what a big boy you are getting to be.

Today, I put away some of the clothes that are too small for you. Your fuzzy orange "Hungry Caterpillar" outfit, which was Mommy's favorite on you for so long, has been packed away for a good month now. But other favorite outfits had to be packed up today. Your little blue Winnie-the-Pooh overalls with the bear feet had to go. I held them up to you just to be sure, and I realized you would never wear them again. Mommy is glad that you are getting so big and strong, my baby, but the realization still makes her a little bit sad.

Mommy and Daddy can't remember clearly just how very tiny you were when you came into this world. We see new babies now, and we say "J was never that small!" The joke is on us; usually, we discover you were even smaller! But you look so big compared to these new little babies. When did you get so big, honey?

You have two teeth now, both on the bottom. You don't have any top teeth yet, but you have been terribly grumpy lately. Mommy suspects your top teeth are trying to emerge and she thinks they must be bugging you. Your bottom teeth are pretty big now. We can see them quite clearly when you smile or cry. But you usually hide them under your tongue, and we can't get a good look very often.

You usually wake up happy these days. You talk to yourself, and you grab your "Randy Raccoon" blanket and tell him all about your nap. And you smile at Mommy and Daddy when we come to get you. We always put you down at the bottom of your crib, lying on your back, with your handknit baby blankie spread over you and your Randy Raccoon at the top of the crib. But when you wake up, you are always lying on your tummy at the top of the crib, grabbing Randy's little paws, and frustrated because your legs are tangled up in your blankie and you can't roll back over with ease. What a restless little sleeper you are!

You have tried many fruits and veggies now. Your favorite veggie seems to be green beans, and you like mixed cereal the best out of all of the infant cereals. You like applesauce and bananas now, which is nice for Mommy, since they are easy to prepare. You smile happily when Mommy gives you Cheerios; you won't pick them up off the highchair tray on your own, but you seem to think it is fun when Mommy pops them in your mouth. And today, you tried egg yolks! You seemed to think they were pretty yummy. Mommy and Daddy just cannot believe how much you can eat! You eat probably a good cup or more of dry infant cereal over 2-3 feedings a day, plus your fruits and veggies, and now Cheerios and protein foods too. I just don't know where you put it, you little baby, you. But you just love to eat, and you can't get enough.

You find all sorts of things funny now. You laugh when Mommy sings to you, and you laugh when she tosses you into the air and catches you. You still enjoy Daddy's "Flying Baby" game, and reward him with smiles and giggles. You miss Daddy when he is away at work during the day. When he gets home in the evenings, you want nothing to do with Mommy any longer, and you insist that Daddy spend time with you. Daddy does not mind in the least!

You are a very snuggly little baby, though you do enjoy playtime alone in your crib as well. You still are not motivated to sit on your own, but we try to get you to sit up for a little while each day. You are always on the go, reaching for anything in your sight and trying to move around. You love playing with plastic measuring cups, Mommy's hair, your toes, your little plastic rings, your Baby Tad from Memaw, and certain stuffed animals (mostly Monkey and Sheepy). You can kick your feet in your crib and make Baby Tad play you songs, and that seems to make you very happy. You do not like to go to sleep, though, and it takes a lot of convincing to get you to sleep, even when you are very, very tired. But when you are very, very tired, you really love to be held close and snuggled. You plunk your head down on Mommy's shoulder with a big thud, and fight to keep your big beautiful eyes open.

Mommy loves holding you. You are a beautiful, sweet, wonderful little baby, and Mommy is so very much in love with you.

I can't believe how fortunate I am to have you. I feel so lucky, and so very blessed. I thank God for you, and I pray for you every day - that God will protect you and keep you safe, that you will grow up to be the man you were meant to be, that Mommy and Daddy will be given wisdom and patience in raising you. I am just so very glad that God has given you to us, that he allowed us to keep you even though you were at such high risk during the pregnancy. I am so very glad that you are here with us now, safe and well, and that you are growing and developing so well. I am just so very grateful for all that is you.

I love you, my little man. So very much.

Love and kisses always,

Mommy

I am "above-average"

You may wonder why my user pic is of J, and not of me. Well, quite simply, I am "above-average" (read: I am a fat girl). I used to be thin. Once. Long ago. But those days are behind me, and I hate hate HATE the way I look now. This being the case, size labels, the mirror, and the camera have become my sworn enemies and I simply will not post a picture of myself until I lose some weight.

If that ever happens.

Which it won't. Because I can't seem to get up the motivation it would take to watch what I eat and exercise. And because I am really busy with my courses and the baby, and I just don't have much time to think of stuff like meal planning.

So here I am, carrying around an extra 45 or so pounds that I just can't seem to part with. And none of my old clothes fit since J's birth. (In fact, I am somewhat ashamed to admit that I still wear certain camouflaging pairs of maternity pants.) I can't bring myself to buy new clothes, because trying on clothes invariably means being confronted with size labels and mirrors (two of my sworn enemies) and because I generally hate spending money. Especially now, when I'm on mat leave and funds are tight.

But my brother-in-law is getting married on New Years Day, and we also have a swanky Christmas party to attend this Friday. And I can hardly go to these events dressed in maternity pants and an oversized Spiderman t-shirt now, can I?

So (during a study break today) off to the mall I trudged, begrudgingly, hacking up a lung and with J in tow, to try and take advantage of certain department store sales. My voice is shot; it's not gone completely, but I sound just like Marlon Brando in "The Godfather". And I have work to do, but I couldn't put this off any longer. I need a dressy outfit for Friday, and I just don't have a lot of time available for shopping.

Now, for some unknown reason, designers seem to feel that we "above-average" women all want to wear either really revealing clothing (no sleeves, short skirts, clingy, sheer fabric) or gunny sacks (straight lines, shape concealing, straight from Rue McClanahan's wardrobe in "The Golden Girls"). We have our very own section - right next to the Petites (because we don't feel self-conscious enough, thank you very much) - and our section is manned by an anorexic salesgirl (because she knows something about what we would want to wear; riiiiiggggghhhhht). They try not to call us "plus-sized" any longer, as it's not PC; now, our section is coined "above-average" (as in "your heart's in danger and your joints may give out at a moment's notice, but it's a good thing - really").

So there I was, hunting through department store racks, for anything with even a hint of a sleeve! Tough to come by, let me tell you. And I finally found two tasteful-looking (no gunny sack) dressy outfits in my size that had sleeves. I tried them on, and was dismayed to discover that they were actually not designed for women my size, but rather for what the skinny little boobless designers imagine skinny little boobless women might look like if you widened them, you know, with a carnival mirror. In fact, once I put it on, I realized that one top would only be suitable for attending a roller-disco. And who goes there? Not me, obviously; that would be too much like exercise!

The long and short of it seems to be that department store clothing just does not hang properly on women of my ... particular ... stature.

So off I trudged, with a heavy heart, to the fat-girl store. The store designed specifically for the "above-average" woman. And here, I managed to find an outfit, in my size, that is just concealing enough and still keeps my shape in tact. But the down side to this is that I had to buy an outfit from the fat-girl store, and my self-esteem has been adversely affected.

It is a nice outfit, though.

New Moms Network, et al

Last NMN session today. It was cold out this morning, and I had to scrape the windows. I decided J should go into his snowsuit for the first time, because I wanted to make sure he stayed nice and warm for the trip out.

J looks like a little starfish in his snowsuit. It was very precious! I didn't manage to get a picture of him in it, but I will next time.

Went to new moms network. J usually naps a bit there, but today, he decided he would be active. Today's speaker was from the library. She talked about all the books we could read to our children, and she had brought an assortment of them with her. As she talked and passed the books around the room, J perched on my knee blowing raspberries at her throughout her entire presentation. (Apparently, J is also a literary/public speaking critic. I am not certain whether it was the presentation or the books themselves that he objected to.)

When he appeared to want down, I laid him down on the mat on top of his blankie. He and another little girl, Jenna, tried to trade toys; she wanted Monkey, and he wanted her ladybug teether toy. He kept trying to roll over and grab it.

At the end of the session, we got little certificates which were completed by placing a footprint of our babies in the corner. They were yellow. J didn't really mind getting the paint on his foot, but he was most unimpressed with having it washed off in the bathroom after. He still isn't much of a waterbaby. But it is still a very nice keepsake, and I will put it in his scrapbook.

Then we had treats. J was still really squirmy, so I couldn't put him down. I got a plate together while holding him, and he tried to upend the entire plate onto my shirt. Thankfully, anything messy was firmly attached to the plate, and he didn't get it all over me. He cried at his foiled attempts to cover me in food.

He is still teething like mad. Had Tylenol and Anbesol today. Would not nap with ease and needed encouragement. Needed many, many snuggles. Woke up screaming and needed much consoling. Poor little man!

Otherwise, an uneventful day. Had a nice chat with theatre_mommy. Learned more about using my financial calculator (apparently, you need a degree from MIT to figure it out in its entirety). Not much time for study today, but it's a short module this week and next, so not to worry; I'll make it up.

Gripe of the Day: Driver Training 101

Took J for a drive tonight to console him for awhile. Bad drivers on the road; we were nearly killed. And so...

When passing parked cars, please speed up or slow down to get in the next lane over. Do not lane split and drive down the middle of 2 lanes nearly shearing off the passenger side of my car, you brilliant and privileged thing, you. You won't get there any faster in your body bag; trust me.

Also, people who smoke while driving annoy me. Especially when they flick their ashes out their windows onto my car rather than using their rather conveniently located ashtrays. And especially when they utilize this technique by crossing their right hands over their left arms while operating their vehicles at high speeds down the Freeway. This technique has killed people before. Trust me; I know. (But in his defence, I'm sure his left hand was already occupied by his cell phone.) Both hands on the wheel, people! At least one, though! Please don't steer with your knees!

And today I learned: there are many, many drivers on our streets who do not know what to do when confronted by an emergency vehicle. What do you do??

Please, if you're going to cause an accident, don't take me with you. Just drive into a pole or something.

The wonderful and talented J

J has a hat.

It is a cute hat. It is blue and fleecy, with a puppy dog's face on the front. It has big, floppy, dark blue ears that stick up on either side of J's head. It matches his blue fleecy outfit, which has a puppy dog's face on the body (complete with the big, floppy ears and also with little paws that stick out at the sides). The outfit has built in feet, which also have the puppy dog's face and stick-up ears on them.

He looks adorable in his cute little outfit.

I got J all dressed up, and he and I went out this morning. By the time we got to our destination, J had pulled off his hat and was using it as a hand puppet. (And then as a chew toy, but the hand puppet thing was really sweet!)

H, J and I all went out tonight for a bit of a drive. On returning home, we discovered that little J had managed to turn his hat completely around so that the face was in the back. This was a pretty amazing feat, since he was in his car seat the whole time. But I swear he did it. Before we left for our drive, I snapped a picture of J in the hat, and the puppy's face was toward the front.

I can't figure it out.

I'll try and get some pictures up later this week. Hopefully I will manage. We shall see!

New Pics on Site

Well, I have finally changed the batteries in my camera. It still had enough juice to take pictures, but there wasn't enough power there to upload the shots. And I am pleased to report that this problem is fixed.

So there are some new pics on the site now. Over on the right, under the "Photos" tab, you will find them all. "Boys With Babes", "Feet!", "Highchair" (and everything after that) are all new pics that were added tonight. I hope everyone enjoys them.

I am putting these last ones up now. They were taken a couple of nights ago, on the 24th. J was given these jammies as a gift, and we decided he should start wearing them now. We will have to lend them to L&M once J outgrows them, but we will want them back afterwards, of course. They are special jammies, and we will probably find some sort of doll to put them on so that we can keep them permanently. (There are certain clothes you just don't want to part with, you know?)





Now, H & J are starting to feel better, but I am still really quite sick. I'm off to bed now, and am really hoping for a good sleep. Hopefully this will ease up soon and I'll be able to get more stuff accomplished. It's a pretty nasty bug, though, so we will have to see.

Pilot Boy

Well, last month H and I found a little aviator jacket for J. It was so very cute, and we bought it for him. We got it large, so he'd be able to wear it for longer.

It is still big for him, but he is able to wear it now. And that is perfect timing, since we have now bought him the matching hat!

So what if we have no money left? Our little boy is stylin'!

J's nemesis

J has decided that the computer is his enemy. And the phone. And my textbook. Really, anything that takes my attention from him is pure evil today, as far as J is concerned. He does not wish to nap in his crib; he wants to be snuggled for naps today. And he does not want me reading, working, or talking to anyone but him while he enjoys his snuggles, napping or otherwise.

So I haven't gotten much done today. And I must confess, I have enjoyed my day tremendously. J is lots of fun to hold and cuddle. I love him so very much! But I do have homework, so can't afford too many days like this one. H will take over this evening, and I'll get some work done.

Tonight, we are getting J the matching hat for his very cool aviator jacket! He should be able to wear his jacket in another month or so; it is really big for him just now. It will still be big on him in a month, but that just means he'll get to wear it for longer. Always best to get more wear out of clothes, I say.

My friends' little boy was laid to rest today. Yet another reason to hold J as much as possible. I feel so sad for my friends, and also very, very lucky to have our little J here with us and healthy. It is a sad, cold, rainy, icky day. And here am I, so blessed.

I am feeling fortunate today. And really, when I stop to consider the grand scheme of things, I have no business to feel otherwise.

Baby-free Outing

Tonight, H and I went to see a musical. It was really well done. H's brother, C, was in it, as was C's girlfriend, L. We thought they were both brilliant. It was really nice to get out of the house together without the baby. It's the first time since J's birth that I've been further than the Mac's store without him. I love J so much, but every so often, you just need time with the grown-ups, you know?

My parents came over around 6:30 to look after J for us. He had done some major cluster-feeding today, and was eating from 4:00 until 5:30, and then again from 6:00 until 6:30. We were rather nervous that schedule would continue in our absence, so we made sure there were two bottles in the fridge, just in case. One had 4 oz, and the other had 5 oz. We phoned in intermission and after the show to see how J was doing. He'd been lulled to sleep, and was quite peaceful.

We got home around 11:30. J had slept across my mother's lap the entire time we were gone. He fussed a little bit, but settled quickly for them. He didn't even wake up for food. We woke him when we got home and gave him his 4 oz bottle. And I did some pumping. J's cluster feeds have really done the trick. I had my doubts as to whether my body really would produce enough milk to satisfy his monstrous appetite. But I was able to pump a good 5 oz, and still had milk to spare. I had to stop because the bottle was full. So I have to start using the 9 oz bottles now instead of the 4 oz ones, as I'm producing more milk now. What a little piggy I have here! Anyway, we'll give him the 5 oz bottle at his next feed, probably in the wee small hours. He'll be getting to bed shortly. He was sleeping in my arms, but is starting to cry now. Good time to change him into his sleeper.

I can't get over it - the one night he's not all colicky, we miss it! Oh well; his colic has been steadily improving over time. Perhaps we've about seen the end of it now.

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On a special note, J got a new onesie today. His is black with silver sparkly letters. (They were out of the matching hat, though, so he was spared that much.)