"Good morning, J", I said. "It's show 'n' tell day at school today", I said.
J's school has themes for show 'n' tell. Today, the theme is colours.
"Do you want to take my rainbow maker for show 'n' tell today, J?" I asked.
"Yeah!" responded J, happily.
J was excited for show 'n' tell. He loves to show his friends new things and explain how everything works. The rainbow maker is a very cool thing indeed, and has so many colours for his friends to enjoy. And it has a scientific bent to it; J loves science. So we cuddled together, and I held the rainbow maker and explained its workings to J. He listened attentively, soaking it all in.
"See, J? There's this little suction cup here. You get it wet, and you stick it to a window. Then the sun shines in the window and hits this little black angled rectangle - that's the 'solar panel'."
"Oooooh."
"Yes. And that solar panel powers the 'battery', over here."
"Here?"
"Yup. Right here. Then the battery makes all these brightly coloured wheels turn inside the rainbow maker. See the wheels?"
"Yeah!"
"Those wheels are the 'motor'."
"That's the motor?"
"Yes, it is. And when the motor runs, it turns this big crystal on the bottom. The crystal is a 'prism'."
"A prism?"
"Uh huh. And as the sun shines on the prism, the light becomes 'refracted'. Say refracted, J."
"Refracted," said J, with his typical perfect pronunciation.
"Right! 'Refracted'. See? Light gets refracted through the prism, and then the refracted light shines on all the walls. And that makes the rainbows."
"Oooooh!"
"You love the rainbows, don't you J? You love how they dance around the room, huh?"
And J nodded.
"It's dark and cloudy right now. But we can still see the rainbows, online. Do you want to watch a video of the rainbow maker?"
J nodded again. And we cuddled together and watched a quick Youtube video of the rainbow maker. J stared in awe, rapt with attention, thrilled to see the rainbows flying about the room on my computer screen.
"Pretty! Pretty!"
"Now, it's supposed to be a cloudy day, J. So the rainbow maker might not make the rainbows for your class. But you can tell them how the rainbow maker works, and you can take it back to school on a day when it's sunny so your friends can see the rainbows. Does that sound good?"
"Yeah. That sounds good", J agreed.
"It's delicate, J. You have to be careful with it. It's not a toy to be played with. And you can't put it in your mouth. But we'll tell your teacher how it works, and she'll stick it to the window for you and gently turn the crystal for your class if the sun isn't strong enough to do it for you. Okay?"
"Okay", J agreed. And then he held the rainbow maker, and started manually turning the crystal at the bottom.
"Careful, J", I said. "Remember, that is delicate. You have to be very gentle. You really shouldn't play with it like that".
[No response]
"Gentle, J. J? Please don't play with it like that, J. J? J?"
[No response]
"J????"
And then J was off and running like a shot, rainbow maker in hand. He moves quickly - much more quickly than his old and decrepit mother. He smacked the suction cup down, adhering it to his glass-topped craft table, then grabbed hold of the crystal at the bottom and pulled with all his might.
And this is why J's show 'n' tell item for today is a tri-coloured plastic airplane. At some point today, I hope to figure out how to reattach the crystal to the rainbow maker. That would be lovely.
*sigh*
Showing posts with label toys. Show all posts
Showing posts with label toys. Show all posts
Friday, September 10, 2010
Sunday, June 28, 2009
Cat toys are not suitable presents for your 4-year old son
Tonight, H and I stopped at a Second Cup to get expensive coffee drinks, because an occasional treat is a good thing and also because J had just announced that he needed to pee and Second Cup was close-by, and we can't abide being "those people"; you know, the ones who use an establishment's bathroom and then leave without buying anything and just really tick everyone right off. But mainly, we bought drinks because an occasional treat is a good thing. And to that end, when J spotted a special cookie that made his eyes just light up, we decided to get it for him.
A happy J skipped out of the Second Cup, cookie in hand. It was a big sugar cookie, shaped like a teddy bear and decorated with green and yellow icing, and J couldn't have been happier. It was very cute, and it looked delicious. We were sure that J would want to eat his treat right away.
J got back in the van, and H strapped him into his carseat. H then removed the cellophane wrap from the cookie and presented it to J so that J might eat his special cookie at once. And as H handed the teddy bear cookie to J, one of the bear's legs broke off. J looked kind of stunned for a moment. But we told him this wasn't a big deal; the cookie would taste the same, and J could just eat the leg first. Apparently placated, J began to eat his cookie. And we headed off for home.
As J continued to eat his cookie, he discussed the situation as he saw it. "Poor teddy bear", said J. And we explained to him that the teddy bear cookie was made to be eaten. It wanted to be eaten. This was the teddy bear cookie's sole purpose. But though J continued to munch on the cookie, he appeared somewhat upset. Periodically, J would look at his cookie with sad eyes and sigh mournfully at the poor teddy bear's plight.
J ate his cookie slowly. He ate the bear's legs, and arms, and then he started working on the bear's head. And then suddenly, he cried out "His eyes are gone!", in the same urgent tone of voice one might use to say "I backed over your brother! Call 911!" And I again told J that the teddy bear was made to be eaten, and that his eyes would surely disappear as he was eaten, and that it was all going to be okay.
To my dismay, J's big bright eyes welled up with tears, and he started to sob uncontrollably. He wouldn't eat the rest of the cookie. It was too painful for him.
He cried for the loss of his teddy bear, whose beautiful yellow and green icing was now completely gone. J wanted his teddy bear cookie to be whole, with yellow and green icing, and eyes that would last forever. He did not want to eat this special cookie. And he would not have done so had the teddy bear cookie's leg not fallen off when its package was opened. To J, this cookie was a real teddy bear, meant to be slept with, played with, and cuddled, and certainly not meant to be eaten. J was horrified that he had mistakenly eaten his new friend.
H considered going back to Second Cup to get J a new teddy bear cookie, but we realized that doing so would be problematic. J would try to sleep, cuddling his replacement cookie. And he would be upset when the cookie crumbled, or when it grew old and stale and had to be thrown in the garbage. Food is not forever. And cookies are meant to be eaten. We needed to come up with something else.
Toy stores are closed. Drug stores, however, are open. And so we stopped at one, looking for a teddy bear. Something small and inexpensive. Something inedible. Something that J could cuddle with and keep.
There were no teddy bears at the drug store. There was a large green ball with a picture of Winnie the Pooh on it, though. But J was unimpressed. A ball was not a friend. A ball was a poor substitute for a teddy bear. A ball could not take the sting off J's wounds. And as he looked at the ball, he tried to be happy. But the tears were still flowing, and they spilled over and wet his sweet little cheeks. He liked the ball, but it was just not the same.
Grocery stores are also open. And we need baby food. And so, with a basket of baby food in hand, I searched. I looked at baby toys, but there were no bears. I looked through the seasonal area, but there were no bears. Specialty items? Giftware? Greeting cards? Yeah, no. There were no bears. Ummm ... cat toys? (Don't judge me. I was desperate.) Oddly enough, there were no bears.
I had nearly given up when at last, I found them. In the back of the floral section. In an area that I think is actually reserved for employees only, but I didn't really care anymore. Balloons, frogs, dogs, unicorns ... and bears! Bears! Cute little stuffed teddy bears! They even had them in yellow and green! Perfect!!!
J sleeps now, with new bears in yellow and green. They are not meant to be eaten. They are not filled with catnip. And when he awakes, he will not be stunned and saddened by their unexpected deterioration into a pile of crumbs.
I am the mom who cannot bear to see tears in your eyes. I will do anything in my power to protect you and to make you smile. Heaven knows that there are harsh realities and disappointments to be faced in this life. You will encounter them someday. And much as it pains me to realize it, I won't always be able to make it better. But just now, you are four. You are four, and you are mine, and I can look out for you. I can't give you everything, but I can give you this. I can wipe your tears and kiss your ow-ies and offer you small tokens that bring a smile to your sweet face once more.
And at the end of the day, I promise that there will be teddy bears.
I love you, J.
A happy J skipped out of the Second Cup, cookie in hand. It was a big sugar cookie, shaped like a teddy bear and decorated with green and yellow icing, and J couldn't have been happier. It was very cute, and it looked delicious. We were sure that J would want to eat his treat right away.
J got back in the van, and H strapped him into his carseat. H then removed the cellophane wrap from the cookie and presented it to J so that J might eat his special cookie at once. And as H handed the teddy bear cookie to J, one of the bear's legs broke off. J looked kind of stunned for a moment. But we told him this wasn't a big deal; the cookie would taste the same, and J could just eat the leg first. Apparently placated, J began to eat his cookie. And we headed off for home.
As J continued to eat his cookie, he discussed the situation as he saw it. "Poor teddy bear", said J. And we explained to him that the teddy bear cookie was made to be eaten. It wanted to be eaten. This was the teddy bear cookie's sole purpose. But though J continued to munch on the cookie, he appeared somewhat upset. Periodically, J would look at his cookie with sad eyes and sigh mournfully at the poor teddy bear's plight.
J ate his cookie slowly. He ate the bear's legs, and arms, and then he started working on the bear's head. And then suddenly, he cried out "His eyes are gone!", in the same urgent tone of voice one might use to say "I backed over your brother! Call 911!" And I again told J that the teddy bear was made to be eaten, and that his eyes would surely disappear as he was eaten, and that it was all going to be okay.
To my dismay, J's big bright eyes welled up with tears, and he started to sob uncontrollably. He wouldn't eat the rest of the cookie. It was too painful for him.
He cried for the loss of his teddy bear, whose beautiful yellow and green icing was now completely gone. J wanted his teddy bear cookie to be whole, with yellow and green icing, and eyes that would last forever. He did not want to eat this special cookie. And he would not have done so had the teddy bear cookie's leg not fallen off when its package was opened. To J, this cookie was a real teddy bear, meant to be slept with, played with, and cuddled, and certainly not meant to be eaten. J was horrified that he had mistakenly eaten his new friend.
H considered going back to Second Cup to get J a new teddy bear cookie, but we realized that doing so would be problematic. J would try to sleep, cuddling his replacement cookie. And he would be upset when the cookie crumbled, or when it grew old and stale and had to be thrown in the garbage. Food is not forever. And cookies are meant to be eaten. We needed to come up with something else.
Toy stores are closed. Drug stores, however, are open. And so we stopped at one, looking for a teddy bear. Something small and inexpensive. Something inedible. Something that J could cuddle with and keep.
There were no teddy bears at the drug store. There was a large green ball with a picture of Winnie the Pooh on it, though. But J was unimpressed. A ball was not a friend. A ball was a poor substitute for a teddy bear. A ball could not take the sting off J's wounds. And as he looked at the ball, he tried to be happy. But the tears were still flowing, and they spilled over and wet his sweet little cheeks. He liked the ball, but it was just not the same.
Grocery stores are also open. And we need baby food. And so, with a basket of baby food in hand, I searched. I looked at baby toys, but there were no bears. I looked through the seasonal area, but there were no bears. Specialty items? Giftware? Greeting cards? Yeah, no. There were no bears. Ummm ... cat toys? (Don't judge me. I was desperate.) Oddly enough, there were no bears.
I had nearly given up when at last, I found them. In the back of the floral section. In an area that I think is actually reserved for employees only, but I didn't really care anymore. Balloons, frogs, dogs, unicorns ... and bears! Bears! Cute little stuffed teddy bears! They even had them in yellow and green! Perfect!!!
J sleeps now, with new bears in yellow and green. They are not meant to be eaten. They are not filled with catnip. And when he awakes, he will not be stunned and saddened by their unexpected deterioration into a pile of crumbs.
I am the mom who cannot bear to see tears in your eyes. I will do anything in my power to protect you and to make you smile. Heaven knows that there are harsh realities and disappointments to be faced in this life. You will encounter them someday. And much as it pains me to realize it, I won't always be able to make it better. But just now, you are four. You are four, and you are mine, and I can look out for you. I can't give you everything, but I can give you this. I can wipe your tears and kiss your ow-ies and offer you small tokens that bring a smile to your sweet face once more.
And at the end of the day, I promise that there will be teddy bears.
I love you, J.
Friday, May 01, 2009
It's all fun and games until the dinosaur tackles you and rips out your throat
J has a dinosaur. A big, black and white, remote controlled robotic dinosaur with artificial intelligence components. You push a button (conveniently located right on the beast's unmentionables) to start and stop the thing. But you must (MUST) have the remote control in hand to deal with the ramifications. For without the remote control, the dinosaur acts of its own volition. With its fierce jaws aimed at your jugular, the dinosaur will violently shake its tail and roar angrily before it lunges, leaping across the room. And honestly, it can be pretty difficult to get close enough to turn the fool thing off again.
Today, I was in the kitchen feeding baby N when J, alone in the living room, pushed the Button of Doom as the remote control sat, unattended, on the opposite end of the room.
The dinosaur took off like a shot, roaring and shaking its tail, as it aimed itself at J. Cleverly, J evaded the beast by leaping onto the couch. The fierce creature then turned its attention kitchen-ward. It bounded across the room, presumably aiming for N's apple sauce and Cheerios, but was temporarily distracted by the basement door. Which it tried to eat. In an effort to protect his household, J took the opportunity to bravely run toward the dinosaur. Grabbing the creature by its violently shaking tail, J attempted to pull it away from the door. And the dinosaur turned. It lowered its head. It roared at J. Not to be bested by a toy animal, J stood firm and, raising himself to his full thirty-eight inches, shouted "Stop, Dinosaur! I command you!!"
Not surprisingly, the dinosaur was unimpressed. It advanced on J, who backed away quickly while continuing to scream "I SAID STOP!! STOP DINOSAUR!! I COMMAND YOU!!!" And so, I protected my child. I snuck up behind the out-of-control animal as it menacingly approached my 4-year old. I reached under its tail, and I hit the power button, stopping the mad beast dead in its tracks and quite possibly saving my child from a tragic dinosaur-related end.
And then, of course, J got mad at me for turning off his dinosaur when he wanted to play with her. Ungrateful little so-and-so.
(We're sending it to preschool next week for show-and-tell. Because we're awesome like that.)
Today, I was in the kitchen feeding baby N when J, alone in the living room, pushed the Button of Doom as the remote control sat, unattended, on the opposite end of the room.
The dinosaur took off like a shot, roaring and shaking its tail, as it aimed itself at J. Cleverly, J evaded the beast by leaping onto the couch. The fierce creature then turned its attention kitchen-ward. It bounded across the room, presumably aiming for N's apple sauce and Cheerios, but was temporarily distracted by the basement door. Which it tried to eat. In an effort to protect his household, J took the opportunity to bravely run toward the dinosaur. Grabbing the creature by its violently shaking tail, J attempted to pull it away from the door. And the dinosaur turned. It lowered its head. It roared at J. Not to be bested by a toy animal, J stood firm and, raising himself to his full thirty-eight inches, shouted "Stop, Dinosaur! I command you!!"
Not surprisingly, the dinosaur was unimpressed. It advanced on J, who backed away quickly while continuing to scream "I SAID STOP!! STOP DINOSAUR!! I COMMAND YOU!!!" And so, I protected my child. I snuck up behind the out-of-control animal as it menacingly approached my 4-year old. I reached under its tail, and I hit the power button, stopping the mad beast dead in its tracks and quite possibly saving my child from a tragic dinosaur-related end.
And then, of course, J got mad at me for turning off his dinosaur when he wanted to play with her. Ungrateful little so-and-so.
(We're sending it to preschool next week for show-and-tell. Because we're awesome like that.)
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Random Dorito Tuesday ... with cake and toilet paper
N is in his exersaucer. He rocks back and forth like mad, propelling himself across the room. He operates the exersaucer like a car with no wheels. Every so often, I get nervous that he's going to flip the saucer over, and I call out to him. "N ... NO!" He stops rocking briefly, looks at me, and smiles engagingly. And then proceeds to rock violently, as though I had never spoken. This can't bode well for the future.
N's favourite toy is the red phone on his exersaucer, which he holds and waves about as he drives about the room. J's favourite toy is anything round. J loves to share. And that is why N is presently standing on a bunch of balls of assorted sizes, all of which are apparently now stored in the bottom of the exersaucer. I've given up removing them; it doesn't work.
Auditing exam went well. I was temporarily deceived into thinking there were no questions fresh out of left field on this one. That's uncharacteristic for the auditing exam, so I wondered what I might have missed. Then my classmates pointed out to me that those questions were all about law. Which is my other education and experience base. I didn't even notice. I think I did pretty well on it. Hopefully I'm correct. Won't know until May 6. The two month turnaround is aggravating, but I'm kind of getting used to it.
I want Doritos. We have no Doritos. There should always be Doritos. A Dorito-less house by itself cannot stand ... or something. And I think my Wii Fit trainer would like Doritos too. If she ever ate anything. Which she doesn't, because she is a computer animation. But if she had an actual mind and body, I bet I could corrupt her and make her gain a whole bunch of weight.
My training was suspended for an extended time while I prepared for my exam. Back to my Wii Fit this week. I have to lose about a gazillion pounds, so that should be entertaining. When they invent the Doritos and Chocolate Cake diet, I'll be very, very happy indeed. (Mmmmmm ... chocolate cake ...)
H gets irritated whenever I forget to throw out the cap from a bottle of formula and he finds it on the kitchen counter. I get irritated whenever I find an empty toilet paper roll that hasn't been thrown out and/or replaced. So the solution is clear. I've now told H that I will be stockpiling the formula bottle caps and placing them next to the empty toilet paper rolls.
Now, go visit Keely, and do your own Random Tuesday Thoughts. Very freeing!
Thursday, November 13, 2008
Angel of the morning? HA!
J awoke out of sorts. I mean, really out of sorts. He cried. I mean, really cried.
J: I want my hearts!
H: What hearts?
J: The red ones!
H: What red ones?
J: The hearts I had in bed!
H: Hearts you had in bed?
J: My hearts! I want my hearts!
This continued for quite some time. J has many toys that he loves. Some he takes to bed with him. His favourite toys are round and egg-shaped. He has a preference for green items, though he is starting to really like red too. But he has no heart-shaped toys, and we had no idea to what he referred.
H: Where did you get them?
J: From the litter box!
H: J, you're not allowed near the litter box.
J: No. I didn't touch the pee or poop.
H: There are no hearts in the litter box.
J: Yes there are!
H tried in vain to placate J, who continued to shriek about his missing hearts.
H: What do they look like, J?
J: They're red hearts!
H: How many hearts were there?
J: Two! A big one and a little one!
H: How big are they?
J: One's big! And one's little!
H: What are they made of?
J: My hearts! My hearts! I WANT MY HEARTS!!
H searched for J's hearts. Hunting high and low. He even went out into our front yard and rooted around in J's sand table in search of the missing hearts. In the freezing cold. In his pajamas. At one point, he thought he'd found a red heart-shaped toy out there. But the sobbing J insisted that it was not the right one and just screamed louder.
J: My hearts! My hearts!
H: Are they squishy, like gummy candies?
J: No! They're ... they're ...
H: What are they made of, J?
J: They're made of wood!
And through the entire search process, I lay still, nursing N back into a peaceful slumber, and periodically stating what I thought was the very obvious. That the hearts do not actually exist. That J had a vivid dream which he now believes to be real. That we cannot magically bring toys out of J's dream world and into this one. Of this, I am quite certain. And so, I stupidly attempted to reason with my 3-year old while H unwittingly validated his preposterous claims. I reasoned thusly:
You're not allowed near the litter box.
And if you were allowed near the litter box, you certainly would not be permitted to sift through it.
And if you did sift through it, you would not find little red wooden hearts in the dirty cat litter.
And if you did find little red wooden hearts in there, Mommy and Daddy would have thrown them out, because they would be icky and disgusting.
And if Mommy and Daddy had actually lost their minds enough to allow you to keep the little red wooden hearts that you had found in the dirty cat litter, they still wouldn't have let you sleep with them, because we do not sleep with hard wooden toys!
All perfectly logical, I thought. But an over-tired tantrum-throwing 3-year old is not perfectly logical, nor even remotely logical, and he could not be made to believe that his beloved little red wooden hearts existed only in his subconscious. Obviously, the hearts are real. Obviously, H is just not looking hard enough. Obviously, we are horrid, cruel parents who intentionally steal and hide our 3-year old's toys just to make him cry. We laugh about it later, while we sit together and play with the toys as he cries himself to sleep. What parent doesn't do this? You've done it. We all have. You know it's true.
Eventually, H had to admit that I was probably right. The hearts were fictitious. The morning activities resumed, around the shrieking J.
J: My hearts! My hearts!
H: Do you want to go potty?
J: No! No potty! My hearts! I want my hearts!
H: There are no hearts. Now go potty.
J: MY HEARTS!!!!!
J refused to go potty. Refused to get dressed. Refused to stop screaming. And eventually, ran over to me, grabbed baby N in a death grip, and sang a new song. If you consider his high-pitched shrieks of rage to be "singing". Which I do not.
J: I want my baby!
T: You have your baby. He's right here.
J: My baby! My baby!!
H: J, you're holding the baby.
J: I WANT MY BAAAAABBBBYYY!!!
Eventually J, clothed and nearly in his right mind, was escorted off to preschool. He had refused to go potty before leaving the house, insisting "I want to hold my pee pee in my penis for preschool". What an odd request!
And so he left, wearing a pull-up, just in case he had an accident on the way to school. Which he didn't. But once inside and at the potty, he did overshoot the toilet and get pee on the floor, on the underwear he was about to be changed into and, perhaps worst of all ... on Panda, his faithful companion who he can obviously no longer have for today's naptime. That oughta be fun for someone to deal with.
But not me!
I love spending time with my son. But today, I am relieved that his teachers get to handle him. 'Cause ... damn!
J: I want my hearts!
H: What hearts?
J: The red ones!
H: What red ones?
J: The hearts I had in bed!
H: Hearts you had in bed?
J: My hearts! I want my hearts!
This continued for quite some time. J has many toys that he loves. Some he takes to bed with him. His favourite toys are round and egg-shaped. He has a preference for green items, though he is starting to really like red too. But he has no heart-shaped toys, and we had no idea to what he referred.
H: Where did you get them?
J: From the litter box!
H: J, you're not allowed near the litter box.
J: No. I didn't touch the pee or poop.
H: There are no hearts in the litter box.
J: Yes there are!
H tried in vain to placate J, who continued to shriek about his missing hearts.
H: What do they look like, J?
J: They're red hearts!
H: How many hearts were there?
J: Two! A big one and a little one!
H: How big are they?
J: One's big! And one's little!
H: What are they made of?
J: My hearts! My hearts! I WANT MY HEARTS!!
H searched for J's hearts. Hunting high and low. He even went out into our front yard and rooted around in J's sand table in search of the missing hearts. In the freezing cold. In his pajamas. At one point, he thought he'd found a red heart-shaped toy out there. But the sobbing J insisted that it was not the right one and just screamed louder.
J: My hearts! My hearts!
H: Are they squishy, like gummy candies?
J: No! They're ... they're ...
H: What are they made of, J?
J: They're made of wood!
And through the entire search process, I lay still, nursing N back into a peaceful slumber, and periodically stating what I thought was the very obvious. That the hearts do not actually exist. That J had a vivid dream which he now believes to be real. That we cannot magically bring toys out of J's dream world and into this one. Of this, I am quite certain. And so, I stupidly attempted to reason with my 3-year old while H unwittingly validated his preposterous claims. I reasoned thusly:
You're not allowed near the litter box.
And if you were allowed near the litter box, you certainly would not be permitted to sift through it.
And if you did sift through it, you would not find little red wooden hearts in the dirty cat litter.
And if you did find little red wooden hearts in there, Mommy and Daddy would have thrown them out, because they would be icky and disgusting.
And if Mommy and Daddy had actually lost their minds enough to allow you to keep the little red wooden hearts that you had found in the dirty cat litter, they still wouldn't have let you sleep with them, because we do not sleep with hard wooden toys!
All perfectly logical, I thought. But an over-tired tantrum-throwing 3-year old is not perfectly logical, nor even remotely logical, and he could not be made to believe that his beloved little red wooden hearts existed only in his subconscious. Obviously, the hearts are real. Obviously, H is just not looking hard enough. Obviously, we are horrid, cruel parents who intentionally steal and hide our 3-year old's toys just to make him cry. We laugh about it later, while we sit together and play with the toys as he cries himself to sleep. What parent doesn't do this? You've done it. We all have. You know it's true.
Eventually, H had to admit that I was probably right. The hearts were fictitious. The morning activities resumed, around the shrieking J.
J: My hearts! My hearts!
H: Do you want to go potty?
J: No! No potty! My hearts! I want my hearts!
H: There are no hearts. Now go potty.
J: MY HEARTS!!!!!
J refused to go potty. Refused to get dressed. Refused to stop screaming. And eventually, ran over to me, grabbed baby N in a death grip, and sang a new song. If you consider his high-pitched shrieks of rage to be "singing". Which I do not.
J: I want my baby!
T: You have your baby. He's right here.
J: My baby! My baby!!
H: J, you're holding the baby.
J: I WANT MY BAAAAABBBBYYY!!!
Eventually J, clothed and nearly in his right mind, was escorted off to preschool. He had refused to go potty before leaving the house, insisting "I want to hold my pee pee in my penis for preschool". What an odd request!
And so he left, wearing a pull-up, just in case he had an accident on the way to school. Which he didn't. But once inside and at the potty, he did overshoot the toilet and get pee on the floor, on the underwear he was about to be changed into and, perhaps worst of all ... on Panda, his faithful companion who he can obviously no longer have for today's naptime. That oughta be fun for someone to deal with.
But not me!
I love spending time with my son. But today, I am relieved that his teachers get to handle him. 'Cause ... damn!
Sunday, November 09, 2008
J, he's got a ...
Today, J wanted breakfast for supper. Oatmeal. Oatmeal with dinosaur eggs. Dry oatmeal with dinosaur eggs. And nothing else would do.
Would you like an egg, J?
No. Oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Oatmeal isn't really a supper food. Hamburger soup?
No. Oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
But you need protein.
No. Oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Oatmeal. With dinosaur eggs.
Okay. Maybe he's on a carbs kick. I can get behind that. But oatmeal? For dinner? It just ain't right!
As we continued to suggest alternatives, J sat down and played with his Leggos, all the while insisting on breakfast for supper. And not just any breakfast, either. No. It must be oatmeal. Oatmeal with dinosaur eggs. Dry. And immediate.
How about pancakes?
No.
Toast?
No.
Oatmeal. Oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Oatmeal with dinosaur eggs served by Mommy, because there are lots of dinosaur eggs when Mommy does it, and there aren't lots when Daddy does it, even though J's oatmeal with dinosaur eggs comes out of a package, and the exact same number of eggs are in each package. You can't reason with a 3-year old. And as he played with his Leggos, his insistence grew, and I began to feel alarmed. And a little intimidated, too.
Yes, that is a gun. Complete with hammer. And it appears to be cocked. *
Okay, fine. So we gave in. Because we're lousy crisis negotiators. Besides, he looked kind of scary and it just wasn't worth a hail of gunfire. But his list of demands kept growing, and eventually he was sitting there screaming: "Feed me, or the Panda gets it!"
Well, what would you have done?
Send help.
* Okay. Granted, J insists that it is a nail gun. But I've never seen a nail gun that looks like that. I'm still not quite sure how J figured out how to make this eerily realistic looking Leggo weapon. We do not have gun-type toys in this house, and I had no idea J had ever even seen one.
Would you like an egg, J?
No. Oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Oatmeal isn't really a supper food. Hamburger soup?
No. Oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
But you need protein.
No. Oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Oatmeal. With dinosaur eggs.
Okay. Maybe he's on a carbs kick. I can get behind that. But oatmeal? For dinner? It just ain't right!
As we continued to suggest alternatives, J sat down and played with his Leggos, all the while insisting on breakfast for supper. And not just any breakfast, either. No. It must be oatmeal. Oatmeal with dinosaur eggs. Dry. And immediate.
How about pancakes?
No.
Toast?
No.
Oatmeal. Oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Oatmeal with dinosaur eggs served by Mommy, because there are lots of dinosaur eggs when Mommy does it, and there aren't lots when Daddy does it, even though J's oatmeal with dinosaur eggs comes out of a package, and the exact same number of eggs are in each package. You can't reason with a 3-year old. And as he played with his Leggos, his insistence grew, and I began to feel alarmed. And a little intimidated, too.
Yes, that is a gun. Complete with hammer. And it appears to be cocked. *
Okay, fine. So we gave in. Because we're lousy crisis negotiators. Besides, he looked kind of scary and it just wasn't worth a hail of gunfire. But his list of demands kept growing, and eventually he was sitting there screaming: "Feed me, or the Panda gets it!"
Well, what would you have done?
Send help.
* Okay. Granted, J insists that it is a nail gun. But I've never seen a nail gun that looks like that. I'm still not quite sure how J figured out how to make this eerily realistic looking Leggo weapon. We do not have gun-type toys in this house, and I had no idea J had ever even seen one.
Sunday, October 12, 2008
Don't be afraid of the dark
The irony of this situation has not escaped my attention.
**********
H: Goodnight, J.
J: I'm scared.
H: What are you scared of?
J: There's a monster in the closet.
H: There's no monster in the closet. Look. (opens closet door)
J: But there's a scary lion. And a scary noise.
H: There's no scary lion and no scary noise.
J: But ...
H: Mommy and Daddy would never ask you to stay in a room with something scary in it, J.
J: But I need you.
H: But Mommy and N need me too. I've done everything you've asked me to. I read your stories, and I snuggled you, and I gave you your water. And now Mommy and N need me. You need to go to sleep.
J: But I want you.
H: Here. (Hands J the toy that J picked out all by himself at the store and insists on keeping in his room every single night) Two-headed dragon will protect you.
J: Two-headed dragon will eat the scary people?
H: Yes. There is nothing scary in the room, but if there were, two-headed dragon would eat it.
**********
Yes. That's right. There is nothing scary in the room. Except for ...
... J's staunch overnight protector. Which even scares the crap out of me.
H: Goodnight, J.
J: I'm scared.
H: What are you scared of?
J: There's a monster in the closet.
H: There's no monster in the closet. Look. (opens closet door)
J: But there's a scary lion. And a scary noise.
H: There's no scary lion and no scary noise.
J: But ...
H: Mommy and Daddy would never ask you to stay in a room with something scary in it, J.
J: But I need you.
H: But Mommy and N need me too. I've done everything you've asked me to. I read your stories, and I snuggled you, and I gave you your water. And now Mommy and N need me. You need to go to sleep.
J: But I want you.
H: Here. (Hands J the toy that J picked out all by himself at the store and insists on keeping in his room every single night) Two-headed dragon will protect you.
J: Two-headed dragon will eat the scary people?
H: Yes. There is nothing scary in the room, but if there were, two-headed dragon would eat it.
Yes. That's right. There is nothing scary in the room. Except for ...
... J's staunch overnight protector. Which even scares the crap out of me.
Friday, September 12, 2008
Teach your children well, lest all their wealth slowly go bye-bye
H and I are capitalists. We freely admit it. We could try to deny it, but being that we are an accountant and an insurance underwriter, we fear you would see through our feeble attempts. We are also spendaholics. And we strive to have an income that will support the lifestyle to which we aspire. Obviously, that last sentence tells you we have a long way to go.
At 3-1/2 months of age, N is far too little to know anything about money. And the 3-year old J does not yet have an appreciation of what money is about. He knows that he likes money. He enjoys holding the shiny coins and putting them in his piggy bank. But he doesn't quite realize that you can spend those coins to get stuff. While he understands the concept of paying for things, he thinks it involves simply swiping a piece of plastic through a slot and then leaving the store with whatever you want. I don't think he understands concepts like currency and conversion. And I certainly don't think he realizes that swiping the little piece of plastic is just the first in a series of transactions that result in Mommy and Daddy crying at the end of the month when the bills come in.
J understands the value of other things much more readily. Toys, for example. Time, for another.
When we first tried to potty train J, we had problems overcoming his very pronounced stubborn streak. In desperation, we resorted to bribery. But the bribes had to be of the toys and time varieties. Fine. Go with what works, I say.
Toys: We had a big bowl with individually wrapped "presents" - balls, cars, markers, stencils, etc. - and every time J went potty and was dry, he got to pick one. There was also a big wrapped present, sitting up high and clearly visible, which he got to open once the bowl was empty. (It was a Hot Wheels Shark Park, if you were wondering.)
Time: We put a calendar up in J's room with four weeks on it. And every day accident-free got a day crossed off on the calendar. At the end of each week, we had written a fun activity that he would get to do with us. Playground; McDonald's Playland; Swimming; Chuck E Cheese. We told him that "these are things you can't do if you're not potty trained". He got pretty excited about it, really.
Well, J got right into the groove and was essentially potty trained in a week, thus proving that bribery works. If you use the right sort of bribes. See, the parents of one of J's classmates are using cash bribes with far less success. We conclude that this is because your average 3-year old does not understand that cash can be converted into toys. A 3-year old is much more responsive to instant gratification (aren't we all). And that's okay.
Baby steps. Walk before you run. Learn the basics before you throw in complex concepts. Start with simple if/then strings, and move up gradually. And that's how you teach your children about concepts like cash and consequence.
"If you let me change your diaper, then you won't be wet anymore."
"If you pee in the potty, then you'll get a toy."
"If you pee in the potty, then you'll be dry and comfortable."
...
"If you study hard and get good grades, then you'll be able to go to university."
"If you finish university, then you'll get a job that pays more per hour."
...
"If you invest more money early on, then you won't have to invest as much money later on in order to have the same amount set aside for your retirement, because of compound interest and the time-value of money, and ..."
See, that's pretty complex for a kid. How 'bout we not start with that one, mm-kay?
H and I work hard, but it's always a matter of balance for us. We work, we study, we spend time with the kids, and we care for our home and our family to the best of our ability. We do these things so that we can teach our children one of life's great lessons - a little more work equals more cash equals more toys for less time spending. Or to get right down to basics: hard work pays off, but keep a balance.
But our kids are just a little young yet to fully understand that concept. For now, we lead by example. And we hope our children will watch us, will learn from our successes and our mistakes, and will take the best of us with them as they grow. For now, our if/then strings are suitably simple, and currency is rarely mentioned. We'll start across that bridge when the time is right.
But bribery? Yeah. Bribery is mentioned often. Oh, yes it is. After the potty training experience, we wholeheartedly support bribery.
This post was inspired by The Parent Bloggers Network and Capital One, and is part of my attempt to win an iPhone. 'Cause they're cool, and I respond well to bribes too. I am a capitalist, after all. I like toys!
At 3-1/2 months of age, N is far too little to know anything about money. And the 3-year old J does not yet have an appreciation of what money is about. He knows that he likes money. He enjoys holding the shiny coins and putting them in his piggy bank. But he doesn't quite realize that you can spend those coins to get stuff. While he understands the concept of paying for things, he thinks it involves simply swiping a piece of plastic through a slot and then leaving the store with whatever you want. I don't think he understands concepts like currency and conversion. And I certainly don't think he realizes that swiping the little piece of plastic is just the first in a series of transactions that result in Mommy and Daddy crying at the end of the month when the bills come in.
J understands the value of other things much more readily. Toys, for example. Time, for another.
When we first tried to potty train J, we had problems overcoming his very pronounced stubborn streak. In desperation, we resorted to bribery. But the bribes had to be of the toys and time varieties. Fine. Go with what works, I say.
Toys: We had a big bowl with individually wrapped "presents" - balls, cars, markers, stencils, etc. - and every time J went potty and was dry, he got to pick one. There was also a big wrapped present, sitting up high and clearly visible, which he got to open once the bowl was empty. (It was a Hot Wheels Shark Park, if you were wondering.)
Time: We put a calendar up in J's room with four weeks on it. And every day accident-free got a day crossed off on the calendar. At the end of each week, we had written a fun activity that he would get to do with us. Playground; McDonald's Playland; Swimming; Chuck E Cheese. We told him that "these are things you can't do if you're not potty trained". He got pretty excited about it, really.
Well, J got right into the groove and was essentially potty trained in a week, thus proving that bribery works. If you use the right sort of bribes. See, the parents of one of J's classmates are using cash bribes with far less success. We conclude that this is because your average 3-year old does not understand that cash can be converted into toys. A 3-year old is much more responsive to instant gratification (aren't we all). And that's okay.
Baby steps. Walk before you run. Learn the basics before you throw in complex concepts. Start with simple if/then strings, and move up gradually. And that's how you teach your children about concepts like cash and consequence.
"If you let me change your diaper, then you won't be wet anymore."
"If you pee in the potty, then you'll get a toy."
"If you pee in the potty, then you'll be dry and comfortable."
...
"If you study hard and get good grades, then you'll be able to go to university."
"If you finish university, then you'll get a job that pays more per hour."
...
"If you invest more money early on, then you won't have to invest as much money later on in order to have the same amount set aside for your retirement, because of compound interest and the time-value of money, and ..."
See, that's pretty complex for a kid. How 'bout we not start with that one, mm-kay?
H and I work hard, but it's always a matter of balance for us. We work, we study, we spend time with the kids, and we care for our home and our family to the best of our ability. We do these things so that we can teach our children one of life's great lessons - a little more work equals more cash equals more toys for less time spending. Or to get right down to basics: hard work pays off, but keep a balance.
But our kids are just a little young yet to fully understand that concept. For now, we lead by example. And we hope our children will watch us, will learn from our successes and our mistakes, and will take the best of us with them as they grow. For now, our if/then strings are suitably simple, and currency is rarely mentioned. We'll start across that bridge when the time is right.
But bribery? Yeah. Bribery is mentioned often. Oh, yes it is. After the potty training experience, we wholeheartedly support bribery.
This post was inspired by The Parent Bloggers Network and Capital One, and is part of my attempt to win an iPhone. 'Cause they're cool, and I respond well to bribes too. I am a capitalist, after all. I like toys!
Tuesday, January 10, 2006
Permanence of Objects
J loves to play. He will sit up or, as he prefers, will roll around and periodically try to crawl. He sure is not one to stay still.
Today, we were playing with his "Thomas the Tank Engine" choo-choo train, with the big blocks on it. I gave him a few blocks to play with, then pushed the train around him in a circle as he sat up, waving his blocks about; I sang "The Wheels On The Bus", and he happily bounced up and down on his little ankles. When he tired of sitting, he laid down and rolled over to his "Roll-A-Rounds" dinosaur. He can't put the balls in the holes yet, but he had fun opening and closing the dinosaur's mouth and watching the lights and listening to the music that would play when I would put a ball in a hole for him.
He doesn't quite get the concept of "permanence of objects" yet. If I covered the little train with a blanket, he wouldn't try to move the blanket off and get to the train; he'd just try to find something new to play with. He seemed quite surprised by the presence of the train every time I would remove the blanket, and he'd gravitate to it again. We'll have to work on that one some more. I'm sure he'll figure it out soon.
He sleeps across my lap just now. I will put him in his crib for naptime, and get dinner going. Tonight, we are having curry chicken penne pasta. J may enjoy that. He enjoyed his first taste of garlic bread last night, but he is still displaying a tremendous preference for cereal with apple sauce. He doesn't like cottage cheese, any meats, or anything else with protein in it. I still can't get him to drink from a bottle or a cup. I'll try some diluted juice in his cup tonight instead of just plain water and see if that tempts him.
Today, we were playing with his "Thomas the Tank Engine" choo-choo train, with the big blocks on it. I gave him a few blocks to play with, then pushed the train around him in a circle as he sat up, waving his blocks about; I sang "The Wheels On The Bus", and he happily bounced up and down on his little ankles. When he tired of sitting, he laid down and rolled over to his "Roll-A-Rounds" dinosaur. He can't put the balls in the holes yet, but he had fun opening and closing the dinosaur's mouth and watching the lights and listening to the music that would play when I would put a ball in a hole for him.
He doesn't quite get the concept of "permanence of objects" yet. If I covered the little train with a blanket, he wouldn't try to move the blanket off and get to the train; he'd just try to find something new to play with. He seemed quite surprised by the presence of the train every time I would remove the blanket, and he'd gravitate to it again. We'll have to work on that one some more. I'm sure he'll figure it out soon.
He sleeps across my lap just now. I will put him in his crib for naptime, and get dinner going. Tonight, we are having curry chicken penne pasta. J may enjoy that. He enjoyed his first taste of garlic bread last night, but he is still displaying a tremendous preference for cereal with apple sauce. He doesn't like cottage cheese, any meats, or anything else with protein in it. I still can't get him to drink from a bottle or a cup. I'll try some diluted juice in his cup tonight instead of just plain water and see if that tempts him.
Friday, January 06, 2006
Dear J
Dear J,
Today, you had your flu booster. You were a big boy, and you barely cried at all. Mommy was very proud of you. You were the smallest baby in the clinic. Mommy hopes your weight gain will pick up soon and you will grow a bit better.
Today, you tried a fruit mixture of bananas, grapes and plums. You seemed to really like it. Mommy will make sure you get that fairly often from now on.
All in all, it has been a good day. You napped well this morning, but not at all this afternoon. You played in your exersaucer. We played with your blocks, played patty-cake together, and Mommy even put on a small puppet show for you with your various Pooh Bear beanie babies. You were cheerful and sweet, and Mommy had lots of fun playing with you today.
However, Mommy must make one tiny little request. Would you please refrain from trying to do headstands during your diaper changes? You spread the poop so far you nearly required a bath immediately after your change! And somehow, you even got the poop all over the back of your little green Tigger jacket. It was on the outside of the jacket, too! I have no idea how you managed it, but I suspect the headstands might have had something to do with it.
You may do headstands after diaper changes, but not during. Deal?
Love you,
Mommy
Today, you had your flu booster. You were a big boy, and you barely cried at all. Mommy was very proud of you. You were the smallest baby in the clinic. Mommy hopes your weight gain will pick up soon and you will grow a bit better.
Today, you tried a fruit mixture of bananas, grapes and plums. You seemed to really like it. Mommy will make sure you get that fairly often from now on.
All in all, it has been a good day. You napped well this morning, but not at all this afternoon. You played in your exersaucer. We played with your blocks, played patty-cake together, and Mommy even put on a small puppet show for you with your various Pooh Bear beanie babies. You were cheerful and sweet, and Mommy had lots of fun playing with you today.
However, Mommy must make one tiny little request. Would you please refrain from trying to do headstands during your diaper changes? You spread the poop so far you nearly required a bath immediately after your change! And somehow, you even got the poop all over the back of your little green Tigger jacket. It was on the outside of the jacket, too! I have no idea how you managed it, but I suspect the headstands might have had something to do with it.
You may do headstands after diaper changes, but not during. Deal?
Love you,
Mommy
Thursday, December 22, 2005
Santa
Ninedoors takes such beautiful photos!
We took J to see Santa tonight. Ninedoors took a beautiful picture of J on Santa's lap. J wore his special "Baby's First Christmas" outfit, and he has a nice big smile on his face! Santa was very nice, too. He gave J a coloring book (to eat, of course; J wasted no time getting started) and a candy cane, and he told J that "Santa loves you".
It was good to see Ninedoors and her Boy again. They are a very nice couple!
H and I also managed to get a bit more of our Christmas shopping done. Just a few more things to buy, and we'll be done. We need to learn to not wait until the last minute.
I wonder what J asked Santa for. I hope it was a baby sleigh...
We took J to see Santa tonight. Ninedoors took a beautiful picture of J on Santa's lap. J wore his special "Baby's First Christmas" outfit, and he has a nice big smile on his face! Santa was very nice, too. He gave J a coloring book (to eat, of course; J wasted no time getting started) and a candy cane, and he told J that "Santa loves you".
It was good to see Ninedoors and her Boy again. They are a very nice couple!
H and I also managed to get a bit more of our Christmas shopping done. Just a few more things to buy, and we'll be done. We need to learn to not wait until the last minute.
I wonder what J asked Santa for. I hope it was a baby sleigh...
Morning Antics
J has discovered that he can stick his feet between the slats of his crib. He has tremendous fun lying sideways in the crib with his feet sticking out between the slats, kicking them both frantically, and talking to himself. This was how I found him this morning. I was greeted with big, happy smiles!
J loves soothers. He has several. He usually wants to keep one in his mouth and transfer another from hand to hand. He carries a spare about with him whenever he is permitted to do so, just for this purpose. Sometimes, I'll put him down for naptime with a yellow soother in his mouth but, when he wakes up, he'll have replaced it with a blue soother.
During breakfast this morning, J decided that he could start self-feeding. He stuck his hand in his bowl of porridge, and dropped a good-sized mound of cereal on the highchair tray. Having no idea what he was expected to do with it from there, he proceeded to use it like finger paints. His technique will improve with time.
J decided that he did not require a nap this morning. He played for awhile, and he sat in my lap and told me stories, but he did not sleep. As I type this, he has finally nodded off in my arms. I will put him down now and continue with my dusting. Yes, housework is the order of the day. Dusting the main floor and cleaning the bathrooms are my goals.
But sometimes, I think we have too many bathrooms.
J loves soothers. He has several. He usually wants to keep one in his mouth and transfer another from hand to hand. He carries a spare about with him whenever he is permitted to do so, just for this purpose. Sometimes, I'll put him down for naptime with a yellow soother in his mouth but, when he wakes up, he'll have replaced it with a blue soother.
During breakfast this morning, J decided that he could start self-feeding. He stuck his hand in his bowl of porridge, and dropped a good-sized mound of cereal on the highchair tray. Having no idea what he was expected to do with it from there, he proceeded to use it like finger paints. His technique will improve with time.
J decided that he did not require a nap this morning. He played for awhile, and he sat in my lap and told me stories, but he did not sleep. As I type this, he has finally nodded off in my arms. I will put him down now and continue with my dusting. Yes, housework is the order of the day. Dusting the main floor and cleaning the bathrooms are my goals.
But sometimes, I think we have too many bathrooms.
Saturday, December 17, 2005
J's favorite toy (besides Monkey)
Highlighters!
They are a nice shiny smooth plastic, come in an assortment of bright colours, and are the perfect size for a baby to grab and transfer from hand to hand. He'll hold one like a conductor's baton and wave it madly in the air. Currently, he also wants my financial calculator. No, no J. (You've got to draw the line somewhere!)
I still await a review of my blog, and am unsure as to how long it may take to get this mess sorted out. I have so far received no response to my emails. I assume the Blogger staff must be very busy this weekend.
I lack patience.
They are a nice shiny smooth plastic, come in an assortment of bright colours, and are the perfect size for a baby to grab and transfer from hand to hand. He'll hold one like a conductor's baton and wave it madly in the air. Currently, he also wants my financial calculator. No, no J. (You've got to draw the line somewhere!)
I still await a review of my blog, and am unsure as to how long it may take to get this mess sorted out. I have so far received no response to my emails. I assume the Blogger staff must be very busy this weekend.
I lack patience.
Friday, December 09, 2005
Memories From Today
Today, J wore his "Baby's First Christmas" outfit for the first time. It is a very cute soft red sleeper with white feet and cuffs and a red hood with little white ears. The crowning glory is the large reindeer plastered on the butt and down the backs of both legs (complete with little stick-out ears). J looks sweet in it. But the little white ears on the hood sort of resemble horns and, with the hood up and in certain moods, J looks like the demon baby that sat on Rudolph. Cute anyway, though.
(H calls J "Reindeer-Butt" now. J had oatmeal on his face, and H referred to him as "Oatmeal-Face Reindeer-Butt". And this morning, when J was wearing his Randy Raccoon blankie over his face, H called him "Raccoon-Head Reindeer-Butt". Plenty of mileage to be had with that one.)
J is in his crib now. He rolled around until he got close to the side of the crib, then started raking his soother back and forth across the slats, sort of like a tin cup on jailhouse bars. Made me laugh.
J still isn't overly interested in sitting up, but he is capable of it. We sat him up in his crib, and he stayed there for quite some time before he decided lying down was more fun. But it seems to be a matter of choice at this point in time. If we encourage him with a toy (like his little crib activity centre) he is more eager to sit. Still, he prefers to be on the move, and he won't stay still for very long.
J seems to be teething again, and I am awaiting the arrival of the top teeth now. He was more interested in gnawing on his highchair tray than he was in eating today. I have had to break out the Baby Tylenol again.
I hope J sleeps well tonight. H and I could use a decent night's sleep. Tomorrow is J's last swimming lesson, and we have a lot of other stuff on the go as well. This promises to be a very active weekend.
*sigh*
(J is developing his own language a little bit, as a means of communicating with us. When he wants something, his eyes get all wide and he juts his little chin out in the direction of the desired object and says "Mmmmm! Mmmmmmmm!" He's doing it now, and I suspect he is wanting a late night feed before he falls asleep. Off I go.)
(H calls J "Reindeer-Butt" now. J had oatmeal on his face, and H referred to him as "Oatmeal-Face Reindeer-Butt". And this morning, when J was wearing his Randy Raccoon blankie over his face, H called him "Raccoon-Head Reindeer-Butt". Plenty of mileage to be had with that one.)
J is in his crib now. He rolled around until he got close to the side of the crib, then started raking his soother back and forth across the slats, sort of like a tin cup on jailhouse bars. Made me laugh.
J still isn't overly interested in sitting up, but he is capable of it. We sat him up in his crib, and he stayed there for quite some time before he decided lying down was more fun. But it seems to be a matter of choice at this point in time. If we encourage him with a toy (like his little crib activity centre) he is more eager to sit. Still, he prefers to be on the move, and he won't stay still for very long.
J seems to be teething again, and I am awaiting the arrival of the top teeth now. He was more interested in gnawing on his highchair tray than he was in eating today. I have had to break out the Baby Tylenol again.
I hope J sleeps well tonight. H and I could use a decent night's sleep. Tomorrow is J's last swimming lesson, and we have a lot of other stuff on the go as well. This promises to be a very active weekend.
*sigh*
(J is developing his own language a little bit, as a means of communicating with us. When he wants something, his eyes get all wide and he juts his little chin out in the direction of the desired object and says "Mmmmm! Mmmmmmmm!" He's doing it now, and I suspect he is wanting a late night feed before he falls asleep. Off I go.)
Wednesday, December 07, 2005
To J on his 8 month birthday
My darling J,
I can scarcely believe you are eight whole months old today! You are getting so big. Even though you are still small for your age, I just can't believe what a big boy you are getting to be.
Today, I put away some of the clothes that are too small for you. Your fuzzy orange "Hungry Caterpillar" outfit, which was Mommy's favorite on you for so long, has been packed away for a good month now. But other favorite outfits had to be packed up today. Your little blue Winnie-the-Pooh overalls with the bear feet had to go. I held them up to you just to be sure, and I realized you would never wear them again. Mommy is glad that you are getting so big and strong, my baby, but the realization still makes her a little bit sad.
Mommy and Daddy can't remember clearly just how very tiny you were when you came into this world. We see new babies now, and we say "J was never that small!" The joke is on us; usually, we discover you were even smaller! But you look so big compared to these new little babies. When did you get so big, honey?
You have two teeth now, both on the bottom. You don't have any top teeth yet, but you have been terribly grumpy lately. Mommy suspects your top teeth are trying to emerge and she thinks they must be bugging you. Your bottom teeth are pretty big now. We can see them quite clearly when you smile or cry. But you usually hide them under your tongue, and we can't get a good look very often.
You usually wake up happy these days. You talk to yourself, and you grab your "Randy Raccoon" blanket and tell him all about your nap. And you smile at Mommy and Daddy when we come to get you. We always put you down at the bottom of your crib, lying on your back, with your handknit baby blankie spread over you and your Randy Raccoon at the top of the crib. But when you wake up, you are always lying on your tummy at the top of the crib, grabbing Randy's little paws, and frustrated because your legs are tangled up in your blankie and you can't roll back over with ease. What a restless little sleeper you are!
You have tried many fruits and veggies now. Your favorite veggie seems to be green beans, and you like mixed cereal the best out of all of the infant cereals. You like applesauce and bananas now, which is nice for Mommy, since they are easy to prepare. You smile happily when Mommy gives you Cheerios; you won't pick them up off the highchair tray on your own, but you seem to think it is fun when Mommy pops them in your mouth. And today, you tried egg yolks! You seemed to think they were pretty yummy. Mommy and Daddy just cannot believe how much you can eat! You eat probably a good cup or more of dry infant cereal over 2-3 feedings a day, plus your fruits and veggies, and now Cheerios and protein foods too. I just don't know where you put it, you little baby, you. But you just love to eat, and you can't get enough.
You find all sorts of things funny now. You laugh when Mommy sings to you, and you laugh when she tosses you into the air and catches you. You still enjoy Daddy's "Flying Baby" game, and reward him with smiles and giggles. You miss Daddy when he is away at work during the day. When he gets home in the evenings, you want nothing to do with Mommy any longer, and you insist that Daddy spend time with you. Daddy does not mind in the least!
You are a very snuggly little baby, though you do enjoy playtime alone in your crib as well. You still are not motivated to sit on your own, but we try to get you to sit up for a little while each day. You are always on the go, reaching for anything in your sight and trying to move around. You love playing with plastic measuring cups, Mommy's hair, your toes, your little plastic rings, your Baby Tad from Memaw, and certain stuffed animals (mostly Monkey and Sheepy). You can kick your feet in your crib and make Baby Tad play you songs, and that seems to make you very happy. You do not like to go to sleep, though, and it takes a lot of convincing to get you to sleep, even when you are very, very tired. But when you are very, very tired, you really love to be held close and snuggled. You plunk your head down on Mommy's shoulder with a big thud, and fight to keep your big beautiful eyes open.
Mommy loves holding you. You are a beautiful, sweet, wonderful little baby, and Mommy is so very much in love with you.
I can't believe how fortunate I am to have you. I feel so lucky, and so very blessed. I thank God for you, and I pray for you every day - that God will protect you and keep you safe, that you will grow up to be the man you were meant to be, that Mommy and Daddy will be given wisdom and patience in raising you. I am just so very glad that God has given you to us, that he allowed us to keep you even though you were at such high risk during the pregnancy. I am so very glad that you are here with us now, safe and well, and that you are growing and developing so well. I am just so very grateful for all that is you.
I love you, my little man. So very much.
Love and kisses always,
Mommy
I can scarcely believe you are eight whole months old today! You are getting so big. Even though you are still small for your age, I just can't believe what a big boy you are getting to be.
Today, I put away some of the clothes that are too small for you. Your fuzzy orange "Hungry Caterpillar" outfit, which was Mommy's favorite on you for so long, has been packed away for a good month now. But other favorite outfits had to be packed up today. Your little blue Winnie-the-Pooh overalls with the bear feet had to go. I held them up to you just to be sure, and I realized you would never wear them again. Mommy is glad that you are getting so big and strong, my baby, but the realization still makes her a little bit sad.
Mommy and Daddy can't remember clearly just how very tiny you were when you came into this world. We see new babies now, and we say "J was never that small!" The joke is on us; usually, we discover you were even smaller! But you look so big compared to these new little babies. When did you get so big, honey?
You have two teeth now, both on the bottom. You don't have any top teeth yet, but you have been terribly grumpy lately. Mommy suspects your top teeth are trying to emerge and she thinks they must be bugging you. Your bottom teeth are pretty big now. We can see them quite clearly when you smile or cry. But you usually hide them under your tongue, and we can't get a good look very often.
You usually wake up happy these days. You talk to yourself, and you grab your "Randy Raccoon" blanket and tell him all about your nap. And you smile at Mommy and Daddy when we come to get you. We always put you down at the bottom of your crib, lying on your back, with your handknit baby blankie spread over you and your Randy Raccoon at the top of the crib. But when you wake up, you are always lying on your tummy at the top of the crib, grabbing Randy's little paws, and frustrated because your legs are tangled up in your blankie and you can't roll back over with ease. What a restless little sleeper you are!
You have tried many fruits and veggies now. Your favorite veggie seems to be green beans, and you like mixed cereal the best out of all of the infant cereals. You like applesauce and bananas now, which is nice for Mommy, since they are easy to prepare. You smile happily when Mommy gives you Cheerios; you won't pick them up off the highchair tray on your own, but you seem to think it is fun when Mommy pops them in your mouth. And today, you tried egg yolks! You seemed to think they were pretty yummy. Mommy and Daddy just cannot believe how much you can eat! You eat probably a good cup or more of dry infant cereal over 2-3 feedings a day, plus your fruits and veggies, and now Cheerios and protein foods too. I just don't know where you put it, you little baby, you. But you just love to eat, and you can't get enough.
You find all sorts of things funny now. You laugh when Mommy sings to you, and you laugh when she tosses you into the air and catches you. You still enjoy Daddy's "Flying Baby" game, and reward him with smiles and giggles. You miss Daddy when he is away at work during the day. When he gets home in the evenings, you want nothing to do with Mommy any longer, and you insist that Daddy spend time with you. Daddy does not mind in the least!
You are a very snuggly little baby, though you do enjoy playtime alone in your crib as well. You still are not motivated to sit on your own, but we try to get you to sit up for a little while each day. You are always on the go, reaching for anything in your sight and trying to move around. You love playing with plastic measuring cups, Mommy's hair, your toes, your little plastic rings, your Baby Tad from Memaw, and certain stuffed animals (mostly Monkey and Sheepy). You can kick your feet in your crib and make Baby Tad play you songs, and that seems to make you very happy. You do not like to go to sleep, though, and it takes a lot of convincing to get you to sleep, even when you are very, very tired. But when you are very, very tired, you really love to be held close and snuggled. You plunk your head down on Mommy's shoulder with a big thud, and fight to keep your big beautiful eyes open.
Mommy loves holding you. You are a beautiful, sweet, wonderful little baby, and Mommy is so very much in love with you.
I can't believe how fortunate I am to have you. I feel so lucky, and so very blessed. I thank God for you, and I pray for you every day - that God will protect you and keep you safe, that you will grow up to be the man you were meant to be, that Mommy and Daddy will be given wisdom and patience in raising you. I am just so very glad that God has given you to us, that he allowed us to keep you even though you were at such high risk during the pregnancy. I am so very glad that you are here with us now, safe and well, and that you are growing and developing so well. I am just so very grateful for all that is you.
I love you, my little man. So very much.
Love and kisses always,
Mommy
Tuesday, December 06, 2005
J Loves His Toes
Toes are a very fun toy for J. But J can't play with his toes effectively if his mommy and daddy dress him in sleepers with feet. And sadly, J's mommy and daddy love to dress him in sleepers with feet, because he stays nice and warm that way. Yes, they are warm. But what to do about the toes?
What a dilemma for poor little J.
J has refused to nap to any great purpose today. I put him in his crib, hoping that he would go to sleep. But he stayed up playing instead. I could hear him playing happily. Eventually, I realized that J was not going to nap this afternoon. I went in to get him.
And there was J, lying in his crib, playing with his toes. Yes, despite the fact that he was wearing a sleeper with feet. He'd managed to get one leg (from toe to just below the knee) out, between the snaps of his sleeper legs, so his toes were nicely accessible for him. A big, happy smile was my reward for catching J with his toes out.
Well, he was having a good old time. But his foot was cold, so I dressed him properly again. He is unimpressed, but looking for other toys. Fortunately, pulling his mommy's hair is also fun.
He would be in better spirits if he would just nap. He is a very tired baby just now. Poor little man!
What a dilemma for poor little J.
J has refused to nap to any great purpose today. I put him in his crib, hoping that he would go to sleep. But he stayed up playing instead. I could hear him playing happily. Eventually, I realized that J was not going to nap this afternoon. I went in to get him.
And there was J, lying in his crib, playing with his toes. Yes, despite the fact that he was wearing a sleeper with feet. He'd managed to get one leg (from toe to just below the knee) out, between the snaps of his sleeper legs, so his toes were nicely accessible for him. A big, happy smile was my reward for catching J with his toes out.
Well, he was having a good old time. But his foot was cold, so I dressed him properly again. He is unimpressed, but looking for other toys. Fortunately, pulling his mommy's hair is also fun.
He would be in better spirits if he would just nap. He is a very tired baby just now. Poor little man!
Sunday, December 04, 2005
Not Napping
J is supposed to be napping. But instead, J is in his crib, lying perpendicular, and playing. He has moved up to the top of his crib and grabbed the toys which were once out of his reach. He has his "Randy Raccoon" blanket, and he is holding it by its little hands, face to face with the J, and they appear to be dancing while J tells Randy stories.
This is so cute!
Meanwhile, H has gone to Safeway to pick up cheap kitty litter. It's the only thing we think may be absorbent enough to soak up the terrible mess that's in the bottom of the now otherwise empty broken deepfreeze. It is apparently quite repulsive. My stomach is just too weak to allow me near it, but H has assured me that it is really gross and that I should stay away from it. I am happy to comply. Today, I plan to start cleaning up my messy office space.
Much housework to do, as things got way far behind while I was preparing for that exam. Must make house really spic and span for Christmas.
This is so cute!
Meanwhile, H has gone to Safeway to pick up cheap kitty litter. It's the only thing we think may be absorbent enough to soak up the terrible mess that's in the bottom of the now otherwise empty broken deepfreeze. It is apparently quite repulsive. My stomach is just too weak to allow me near it, but H has assured me that it is really gross and that I should stay away from it. I am happy to comply. Today, I plan to start cleaning up my messy office space.
Much housework to do, as things got way far behind while I was preparing for that exam. Must make house really spic and span for Christmas.
Saturday, October 29, 2005
Just Stuff
Went to a Halloween party tonight. H and I didn't have costumes, so we just went as ourselves. J's really cool costume that we got from Holly doesn't fit well in his car seat, but we wanted him to dress up. So tonight, J went dressed as Elmer Fudd in the opening sequence to the Bugs Bunny cartoons. He had a red and black plaid hunting hat with ear flaps, and wore a little black and white tuxedo with red vest. To complete his ensemble, Monkey dressed up as Bugs Bunny. He had socks over his ears and wore a little shirt with "WASCALLY WABBIT" written on masking tape taped to the back of the shirt. It was a funny little costume.
*************
Driving home, I heard an announcement on the radio for a "Lingerie Pumpkin Carving Contest". This begs the question: How does one use one's lingerie to carve a pumpkin? Or are we talking about Madonna and the pointy bra here?
*************
Heard some super-sappy "Why Won't You Love Me" song on the radio. I don't know what it is, because I couldn't listen to that garbage for long enough to get a title. Gist seemed to be "You don't love me, and maybe you never did, and you left me, and now I'm incomplete, and my dog hates me, and there is no point to anything anymore, 'cause you left, and nothing was ever any good again." You know ... the usual drill. I can't believe anyone would buy something like this. "And now, the latest track from 'Music to Mope By'". Here's an idea ... we'll listen to the CD, break the bottle and pass it around.
*************
Working on my course. I hate this section. It's all about investments, and it seems that isn't quite my area. I really have to struggle to understand it. I have a quiz to write on this one. I will try not to be upset if I don't do as well on it. At least I know this isn't my area, so I know what I have to work on.
*************
Have you seen that commercial? The one with the gorgeous woman trying to entice the young man to smoke, sexily leaning in and telling him how much he wants her ... and then he chews his quitting gum, and we see the gorgeous woman morph into some hideous troll-like demon? Ever notice how some people are like that? It boggles my mind. They can seem so beautiful in so many different ways, but then, just below the surface, there's this hideous troll-like demon just waiting to get out. Why is there a demon in such a beautiful package? It makes no sense to me. Packaging should advertise what it sells. It would be so much easier to tell personality types apart if a person's surface matched his or her inner workings. Of course, then we'd probably all have warts and big ugly moles, 'cause who has an unflawed personality after all (and who'd want to hang out with Little Miss Perfect anyway)? But a degree of deformity could be used as a guideline, to tell the really ugly and defective personality traits apart. Yes, this would work for me.
But what do I know about such things really? I can't even understand investments; I can't be expected to understand the nature of a poor reconciliation between visual and actual. Still, shouldn't there be some way for us to see things as they are? I don't think the school-of-hard-knocks is a fitting educational forum for life. There must be an easier way.
*************
Apparently, I like things to be easy. I should get over that. Nothing in life is easy.
*************
Driving home, I heard an announcement on the radio for a "Lingerie Pumpkin Carving Contest". This begs the question: How does one use one's lingerie to carve a pumpkin? Or are we talking about Madonna and the pointy bra here?
*************
Heard some super-sappy "Why Won't You Love Me" song on the radio. I don't know what it is, because I couldn't listen to that garbage for long enough to get a title. Gist seemed to be "You don't love me, and maybe you never did, and you left me, and now I'm incomplete, and my dog hates me, and there is no point to anything anymore, 'cause you left, and nothing was ever any good again." You know ... the usual drill. I can't believe anyone would buy something like this. "And now, the latest track from 'Music to Mope By'". Here's an idea ... we'll listen to the CD, break the bottle and pass it around.
*************
Working on my course. I hate this section. It's all about investments, and it seems that isn't quite my area. I really have to struggle to understand it. I have a quiz to write on this one. I will try not to be upset if I don't do as well on it. At least I know this isn't my area, so I know what I have to work on.
*************
Have you seen that commercial? The one with the gorgeous woman trying to entice the young man to smoke, sexily leaning in and telling him how much he wants her ... and then he chews his quitting gum, and we see the gorgeous woman morph into some hideous troll-like demon? Ever notice how some people are like that? It boggles my mind. They can seem so beautiful in so many different ways, but then, just below the surface, there's this hideous troll-like demon just waiting to get out. Why is there a demon in such a beautiful package? It makes no sense to me. Packaging should advertise what it sells. It would be so much easier to tell personality types apart if a person's surface matched his or her inner workings. Of course, then we'd probably all have warts and big ugly moles, 'cause who has an unflawed personality after all (and who'd want to hang out with Little Miss Perfect anyway)? But a degree of deformity could be used as a guideline, to tell the really ugly and defective personality traits apart. Yes, this would work for me.
But what do I know about such things really? I can't even understand investments; I can't be expected to understand the nature of a poor reconciliation between visual and actual. Still, shouldn't there be some way for us to see things as they are? I don't think the school-of-hard-knocks is a fitting educational forum for life. There must be an easier way.
*************
Apparently, I like things to be easy. I should get over that. Nothing in life is easy.
Thursday, October 27, 2005
GRRRRRRR...
J decided that I should not go to sleep when I wanted to last night. I was up really late with him. Around 1:00 a.m. or so, I finally got to settle in, only to be woken up at 5:00 a.m. by a screaming child. He was wet. I asked H to please change him. An exhausted H was grumpy about that, but he did it. Then he brought J to me for feeding, and H fell back to sleep.
It was 6:00 a.m. when J was through with being fed and burped. I was putting J back in his crib when H's "ealy warning alarm" started going off. (Loud music: "Warning, warning; you will have to actually get out of bed in roughly half an hour".) H wondered why I wasn't putting the alarm to snooze, and he was sort of testy about it until he realized I was on the other side of the room putting J back in his crib.
J would not go back to sleep, however. All attempts to put him in his crib this morning were futile. He would scream and cry if I tried it, so I had to get up with him. So in short, my day started at 5:00 a.m. and I'm functioning on 4 hours of sleep. I don't think I've ever been this crabby.
Skipping ahead in my morning, past the numerous episodes of petty and inconsequential bickering with H - and we never used to fight, but now it just happens ("Why are you so grumpy today?" he asked; gee, I can't imagine), we arrive at J's cereal. Today, J decided not to eat. He had a couple of quick mouthfuls, but generally was only interested in throwing things on the floor and crying.
J is cleaned up. The kitchen floor is cleaned up. His highchair is cleaned up. I still have to wash his dishes. And now, he is once more obsessed with ripping his soother clip off and throwing the soother across the room. I have actually taken it away (I nearly threw it across the room myself just a moment ago); this is not a fun game for me, and I am in no mood.
And my chest still hurts. I think I'd best see my doc today about it. I'll phone and see if I can get in.
My day needs to improve. I have work to do, but can't function well feeling this tired and irritable. (Go to sleep, J! Think "turnip". Please?)
It's not even 9:00 a.m. yet.
It was 6:00 a.m. when J was through with being fed and burped. I was putting J back in his crib when H's "ealy warning alarm" started going off. (Loud music: "Warning, warning; you will have to actually get out of bed in roughly half an hour".) H wondered why I wasn't putting the alarm to snooze, and he was sort of testy about it until he realized I was on the other side of the room putting J back in his crib.
J would not go back to sleep, however. All attempts to put him in his crib this morning were futile. He would scream and cry if I tried it, so I had to get up with him. So in short, my day started at 5:00 a.m. and I'm functioning on 4 hours of sleep. I don't think I've ever been this crabby.
Skipping ahead in my morning, past the numerous episodes of petty and inconsequential bickering with H - and we never used to fight, but now it just happens ("Why are you so grumpy today?" he asked; gee, I can't imagine), we arrive at J's cereal. Today, J decided not to eat. He had a couple of quick mouthfuls, but generally was only interested in throwing things on the floor and crying.
J is cleaned up. The kitchen floor is cleaned up. His highchair is cleaned up. I still have to wash his dishes. And now, he is once more obsessed with ripping his soother clip off and throwing the soother across the room. I have actually taken it away (I nearly threw it across the room myself just a moment ago); this is not a fun game for me, and I am in no mood.
And my chest still hurts. I think I'd best see my doc today about it. I'll phone and see if I can get in.
My day needs to improve. I have work to do, but can't function well feeling this tired and irritable. (Go to sleep, J! Think "turnip". Please?)
It's not even 9:00 a.m. yet.
Wednesday, October 26, 2005
Heart full of love
J awoke at 5:30 this morning. H changed him, and I fed him. I tried to put him back in his crib for more sleep, but he just wanted to be cuddled. I held him close and rocked him, and he slowly began to drift off. I put him back in his crib, and he allowed me to sleep for a little bit longer. (In several chunks, with cuddles in between.) Not too long, mind you; he is a baby after all, and his day starts early.
Yesterday was so stressful, what with J's continual screaming fits and hair-pulling and all, that my neck is skewed to the side from tension. Not wry neck this time around; just really tense muscles that I can't seem to shake. (A direct quote from me from yesterday: "J won't stop screaming, and he keeps pulling my hair, and he's hurting me. And this is my life now.") He was so into throwing his soother on the floor that I put one of those pacifier clip thingies on him. Took him all of 20 seconds to figure out how to rip it right off. And now, he can use the string to really wind up and throw the soother across the whole room. What fun!
Today, a calm and peaceful day would be nice, but it isn't going to happen. J is teething, I have at least 3 chapters to read, and my house is a horrible mess. The house will have to wait, though; I am too gimped up to tackle that today. And I will be missing my New Moms Network offshoot group. For the second week in a row. I'm just too busy and gimped up to get there today. C'est la vie.
When J last awoke, he got fussy really fast. By the time I got him out of his crib, he was screaming and little tears were streaming down his sweet little face. I thought I was in for it for sure; we're going to have another day like yesterday, I thought. Was he hungry? Was he wet? Was he in pain? No, no, and no. What was troubling him? Well, he just wanted his mommy. I picked him up and held him close; he immediately stopped crying, cuddled up, and gave me the biggest sweetest smile ever!
He is a lot of work. And his screams could shatter glass. And some days, I feel like I've reached the end of my tether. And many times, I feel like the poorest excuse for a mother ever. I'm sleep-deprived and I can't keep on top of daily chores. My house is always a mess, and there are days when a shower and clean clothes are expendable luxuries.
And I wouldn't have it any other way.
You are my child, J. I love you so much.
Yesterday was so stressful, what with J's continual screaming fits and hair-pulling and all, that my neck is skewed to the side from tension. Not wry neck this time around; just really tense muscles that I can't seem to shake. (A direct quote from me from yesterday: "J won't stop screaming, and he keeps pulling my hair, and he's hurting me. And this is my life now.") He was so into throwing his soother on the floor that I put one of those pacifier clip thingies on him. Took him all of 20 seconds to figure out how to rip it right off. And now, he can use the string to really wind up and throw the soother across the whole room. What fun!
Today, a calm and peaceful day would be nice, but it isn't going to happen. J is teething, I have at least 3 chapters to read, and my house is a horrible mess. The house will have to wait, though; I am too gimped up to tackle that today. And I will be missing my New Moms Network offshoot group. For the second week in a row. I'm just too busy and gimped up to get there today. C'est la vie.
When J last awoke, he got fussy really fast. By the time I got him out of his crib, he was screaming and little tears were streaming down his sweet little face. I thought I was in for it for sure; we're going to have another day like yesterday, I thought. Was he hungry? Was he wet? Was he in pain? No, no, and no. What was troubling him? Well, he just wanted his mommy. I picked him up and held him close; he immediately stopped crying, cuddled up, and gave me the biggest sweetest smile ever!
He is a lot of work. And his screams could shatter glass. And some days, I feel like I've reached the end of my tether. And many times, I feel like the poorest excuse for a mother ever. I'm sleep-deprived and I can't keep on top of daily chores. My house is always a mess, and there are days when a shower and clean clothes are expendable luxuries.
And I wouldn't have it any other way.
You are my child, J. I love you so much.
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