I am going to post about sickness today. Because really, it's all I've got. There is sickness ... what can I say.
It started when N got what we thought was just a bad case of the sniffles about a week before my exam. He was pretty miserable.
Ever the pessimist, I saw the writing on the wall right then. I figured the very generous N would pass his cold along to the rest of us. H would get it first. He would be laid up all weekend, and unable to care for the kidlets while I studied. J would catch it next. He would be horribly sick and unable to go to school, so I would not be able to study for the days leading up to the exam. Finally, I would catch the dread virus just in time to be thoroughly ill on exam night. But as H readily pointed out: "If you can pass an exam with contractions, you can certainly pass one with a cold." Good point. Still, I preferred not to have to write while ill.
So I prayed. Please, just don't let me get sick until after the exam. Please, oh please, don't let me get sick until after the exam.
As predicted, H caught the cold the weekend before the exam. He was laid up all weekend. But kind and generous family members stepped in and cared for the children so that I could still study. J was hit next, a little later than I had originally predicted. He was home from school Wednesday, the day of the exam. H took a family sick day to care for J so that I could still study. (J's condition worsened on exam night, and he started throwing up. We decided to keep him home for the rest of the week. When we called the school, we learned that Norwalk Virus is circulating. Faaaabulous!)
But it's all good. By Friday, my exam was over. H was feeling completely better. N was almost over it too. Even J appeared to be feeling 100% better. And aside from a touch of nausea, I had escaped completely unscathed.
Could it be? Had I finally avoided catching a cold that had hit the remainder of my household with a vengeance? I am an asthmatic, so one would not think so. But maybe, just maybe it had happened. Finally.
Except that the kids really weren't on the mend. Deceptive little beggars that they are, they apparently simply wanted to instill a false sense of security in their poor mother. And so, late one night on the weekend, with J coughing until he threw up and N barking like a seal on each intake of breath, we headed to the Emergency Room. Two small children, with matching fevers and matching cold viruses. N's cold had turned to croup, and he required steroids. J needed to be watched for dehydration; just keep him drinking, and he should be okay.
But at least H is feeling better. And I haven't caught the virus. It's been two weeks, and I am feeling rather indestructible at this juncture. Two sick kids, climbing on me for cuddles, breathing and coughing directly in my face, but somehow I managed to evade their bugs. Celebrate with me!
Yeah ... Until today, when I awoke feeling like I'd been hit by a rather large truck. J still coughing. N sobbing and miserable, with the mother of all runny noses and croupy coughs. And me, the caregiver, totally incapacitated and unable to function, with a severe headache, fever, ear infection, tonsillitis (again), upset stomach, a hacking cough, and complete exhaustion. I can't even take anything for it, because I'm still nursing N!
It's been a good day. (Riiiiight.) I'm going to bed now. I hope to feel better soon. I hope for no bronchitis, the usual development in an asthmatic with a cold. I hope it all departs from my system very quickly.
I am tired. I am sick. But I still feel blessed, because at least the virus failed to catch me until after my exam was done. And really, that was all I asked for.
So, how about you? Any winter colds going around your household? Do you have a tried and true cold remedy (safe for nursing moms)? Do tell!
Showing posts with label tonsillitis. Show all posts
Showing posts with label tonsillitis. Show all posts
Monday, December 08, 2008
Wednesday, October 11, 2006
What is with this stupid bug???
Well, it started over two weeks ago now. It started with major muscle spasms. And then it turned into stomach trouble, combined with major muscle spasms. Then I developed a twitch in my right eye. Next came the sore throat. Then the runny nose, and then the bronchitis cough. And that's when I lost my voice completely.
I said enough. I went to the Medicentre. I got drugs to help fight this.
My voice is starting to return, and my eye has finally stopped twitching (knock wood). I'm still getting some muscle spasms and some stomach trouble, but it's not as severe as it was, and I am hopeful that it will go away soon.
But now, I have apparently added a urinary tract infection to my woes. And it hurts. A lot. It kept me up from around 3:00 on last night. It came accompanied by chills. It was not enjoyable in the least.
I've called in sick from work for the day. I almost never do that. But it's that bad.
How did this happen? I'm on antibiotics! This should not have happened!
I am hoping that my regular doctor can see me today. If not, then maybe someone else in his clinic will be available. I need to get whatever the heck mutant viral pest thing is causing this awful condition out of my system once and for all. I just don't know how to do that.
I said enough. I went to the Medicentre. I got drugs to help fight this.
My voice is starting to return, and my eye has finally stopped twitching (knock wood). I'm still getting some muscle spasms and some stomach trouble, but it's not as severe as it was, and I am hopeful that it will go away soon.
But now, I have apparently added a urinary tract infection to my woes. And it hurts. A lot. It kept me up from around 3:00 on last night. It came accompanied by chills. It was not enjoyable in the least.
I've called in sick from work for the day. I almost never do that. But it's that bad.
How did this happen? I'm on antibiotics! This should not have happened!
I am hoping that my regular doctor can see me today. If not, then maybe someone else in his clinic will be available. I need to get whatever the heck mutant viral pest thing is causing this awful condition out of my system once and for all. I just don't know how to do that.
Saturday, October 07, 2006
The Sounds of Silence
Laryngitis. Rhymes with bronchitis. Ever notice that? Think it's a coincidence? It's not.
The good news is H & J are both feeling just fine.
The bad news is obvious.
My voice is completely gone. Don't phone; I can't speak above a whisper. If I try to talk louder, only dogs can hear me. But they can't understand me, since I am apparently speaking in Dolphinese.
And yet, H insists on hollering up the stairs, waiting for me to answer in like. But I can't do that! I can't speak; I certainly can't yell.
My voice left last night, after a day of coughing. I left work early, while I still had a trace of vocal capability left, but I was starting to squeak and I sounded pretty bad. It got worse through the evening, until I was left with only a whisper left, and sometimes not even that much.
H sent me to the Medicentre last night. Alone, because it was late and he thought we should try to get J to sleep. And let me tell you, it's not a lot of fun to try and mime your concerns to the Medicentre doctors and staff. I drew the line at "are you allergic to any antibiotics". I just nodded vigorously and pointed to the chart. Thank God I'd been there before! Otherwise, I'd have had to write down a littany of medications.
So the verdict is: Rest. Don't speak unless absolutely necessary. Take hot steamy showers three times a day and breathe deeply until my voice returns. Take my Ventolin asthma inhaler, 2 puffs 4 times a day. Take prescription cough syrup with codeine, 2 teaspoons before bed. Take heavy duty antibiotics, 1 honking horse pill twice a day.
What's the hardest of these instructions for me to follow? You guessed it. Rest.
This weekend, my niece is getting married. We have to run a couple of errands this morning before dropping J off with L&P for the day, then head to the church for the wedding. Then there's the reception, which we will be leaving early. And then back to get J. Convince J to sleep, and then I have to study, because I am STILL behind in my course.
Tomorrow is the gift opening. And a tea thing for my parents in honor of their 50th anniversary (don't let's go there). And Thanksgiving dinner with my family, including my brother's family, who are in from Vancouver for the wedding and who I otherwise will not get to see this year.
Monday is Thanksgiving with H's family, and there will be many preparations (don't let's go there). And somehow, between now and Tuesday evening, I still have to get through a module and a half of course work and write my quiz.
I don't think it's working out. I'll have to find the answers, write the quiz, hope for the best, and finish the readings as I can.
I hate being behind.
I hate being sick.
I keep coughing. I want more cough syrup. But it's not bedtime yet. And I can't even call the pharmacy to ask if I can take non-prescription cough syrup in-between doses, because no one can hear me talk! (Perhaps I can write down instructions and get H to phone for me.)
My cell phone's voice calling feature annoys me today. It can't hear me either.
I hate being sick.
The good news is H & J are both feeling just fine.
The bad news is obvious.
My voice is completely gone. Don't phone; I can't speak above a whisper. If I try to talk louder, only dogs can hear me. But they can't understand me, since I am apparently speaking in Dolphinese.
And yet, H insists on hollering up the stairs, waiting for me to answer in like. But I can't do that! I can't speak; I certainly can't yell.
My voice left last night, after a day of coughing. I left work early, while I still had a trace of vocal capability left, but I was starting to squeak and I sounded pretty bad. It got worse through the evening, until I was left with only a whisper left, and sometimes not even that much.
H sent me to the Medicentre last night. Alone, because it was late and he thought we should try to get J to sleep. And let me tell you, it's not a lot of fun to try and mime your concerns to the Medicentre doctors and staff. I drew the line at "are you allergic to any antibiotics". I just nodded vigorously and pointed to the chart. Thank God I'd been there before! Otherwise, I'd have had to write down a littany of medications.
So the verdict is: Rest. Don't speak unless absolutely necessary. Take hot steamy showers three times a day and breathe deeply until my voice returns. Take my Ventolin asthma inhaler, 2 puffs 4 times a day. Take prescription cough syrup with codeine, 2 teaspoons before bed. Take heavy duty antibiotics, 1 honking horse pill twice a day.
What's the hardest of these instructions for me to follow? You guessed it. Rest.
This weekend, my niece is getting married. We have to run a couple of errands this morning before dropping J off with L&P for the day, then head to the church for the wedding. Then there's the reception, which we will be leaving early. And then back to get J. Convince J to sleep, and then I have to study, because I am STILL behind in my course.
Tomorrow is the gift opening. And a tea thing for my parents in honor of their 50th anniversary (don't let's go there). And Thanksgiving dinner with my family, including my brother's family, who are in from Vancouver for the wedding and who I otherwise will not get to see this year.
Monday is Thanksgiving with H's family, and there will be many preparations (don't let's go there). And somehow, between now and Tuesday evening, I still have to get through a module and a half of course work and write my quiz.
I don't think it's working out. I'll have to find the answers, write the quiz, hope for the best, and finish the readings as I can.
I hate being behind.
I hate being sick.
I keep coughing. I want more cough syrup. But it's not bedtime yet. And I can't even call the pharmacy to ask if I can take non-prescription cough syrup in-between doses, because no one can hear me talk! (Perhaps I can write down instructions and get H to phone for me.)
My cell phone's voice calling feature annoys me today. It can't hear me either.
I hate being sick.
Wednesday, October 04, 2006
More throat stuff
Throat. Sore. So sore.
Lozenges do not help.
Tea does not help.
Cold does not help.
Heat does not help.
Honey does not help.
Garlic does not help.
Fluids do not help.
Chewable vitamin C does not help.
Tylenol does not help.
Nothing helps.
There used to be a mouth rinse that you could get by prescription. It did nothing to heal the throat. But it contained a freezing agent and, if you gargled with it, it would numb the throat so you couldn't feel it anymore.
I wish I had some. But I don't.
Dinner tonight was soft-serve ice cream and fruit juice. I can't swallow anything more solid than that. I can barely even speak.
My glands are so swollen I can actually see them. My head is in a constant state of migraine. My ears are plugged and I can barely hear anything now. I feel exhausted. I cough 'til I gag.
And yet, I only took one day off of work to be sick. Now, I continue to go into work every day. I work a full day. And then I come home and study.
I am an idiot.
I realize this. I recognize my idiocy. But it doesn't stop me. Tomorrow, I will go in to work. I will work a full day. And then I will come home and study. Because I am an idiot, and it is what I do.
If I can't speak at all tomorrow, I may stay home. But I doubt it.
Idiot.
Lozenges do not help.
Tea does not help.
Cold does not help.
Heat does not help.
Honey does not help.
Garlic does not help.
Fluids do not help.
Chewable vitamin C does not help.
Tylenol does not help.
Nothing helps.
There used to be a mouth rinse that you could get by prescription. It did nothing to heal the throat. But it contained a freezing agent and, if you gargled with it, it would numb the throat so you couldn't feel it anymore.
I wish I had some. But I don't.
Dinner tonight was soft-serve ice cream and fruit juice. I can't swallow anything more solid than that. I can barely even speak.
My glands are so swollen I can actually see them. My head is in a constant state of migraine. My ears are plugged and I can barely hear anything now. I feel exhausted. I cough 'til I gag.
And yet, I only took one day off of work to be sick. Now, I continue to go into work every day. I work a full day. And then I come home and study.
I am an idiot.
I realize this. I recognize my idiocy. But it doesn't stop me. Tomorrow, I will go in to work. I will work a full day. And then I will come home and study. Because I am an idiot, and it is what I do.
If I can't speak at all tomorrow, I may stay home. But I doubt it.
Idiot.
Tuesday, October 03, 2006
Colour me self-involved
I'm sick. I have added a migraine to my tonsillitis issue. My throat is so scratchy that speech is difficult. But I'm still working away. Took yesterday off from the office, but went back today. And tonight, I attempted to study. With a migraine. Like an idiot.
Studying takes a lot of concentration when you have a migraine. It can't be done without excluding everything else in your life. And personally, I have a really hard time switching gears when I have a migraine. Case in point: Tonight, I was working on some of my quiz questions, when the phone rang, and one of my dear friends (DF) needed to talk to me. And the conversation went something like this:
So if the above conversation sounds kind of familiar to you, I apologize for my insensitivity and self-involvement this evening. And next time you call, I promise to try harder to remember to close my textbooks, turn off my computer, and listen to you. (And I'm sure your son is just fine!)
Me bad friend. Me sorry.
Studying takes a lot of concentration when you have a migraine. It can't be done without excluding everything else in your life. And personally, I have a really hard time switching gears when I have a migraine. Case in point: Tonight, I was working on some of my quiz questions, when the phone rang, and one of my dear friends (DF) needed to talk to me. And the conversation went something like this:
DF: My son fell.And it kind of kept going like that until my sweet, kind DF agreed to talk shop with me and we had a lengthy discussion about convertible bonds and hybrid classifications. We didn't really ever get back to what was important. I failed to see it at the time. I realize it now. But it's too late to phone!!
Me: Convertible bonds? Are they liability or equity instruments?
DF: I feel so bad!
Me: These are at the issuer's option ... with interest ... that's module 4.2, right?
DF: Do you think he's okay?
Me: Carry the 3 ...
So if the above conversation sounds kind of familiar to you, I apologize for my insensitivity and self-involvement this evening. And next time you call, I promise to try harder to remember to close my textbooks, turn off my computer, and listen to you. (And I'm sure your son is just fine!)
Me bad friend. Me sorry.
Sunday, October 01, 2006
John's tonsil nuggets
Stupid title, I know. But it covers all the bases. So ...
Saw Elton John last night. Fantastic! Worst seats I've ever had for anything in my life, but I was still thrilled to watch Elton John again. What an amazing pianist!
K&K were kind enough to watch J for us while we went to the concert. Judging from the pictures and video footage they showed us after, it looked like he had lots of fun playing with his little friend, D. They chased each other all over the place, and had lots of fun sitting in D's rocking chair. I'm glad J is becoming so sociable.
J wasn't a really happy little guy today. And tonight, I fed him chicken nuggets 'til he passed out. Literally. He passed out. With a piece of nugget still clenched in his hand. He sleeps now. I hope he sleeps through tonight. These days, he's taken to waking up at 2 am.
And in other news ... my tonsils are infected again. TADA!
Behind in my course. Tired. Grumpy. Need to study, but can't. Must go to sleep and let my tonsils heal. Again. (Why don't they just take them out, already?!?!)
'Night.
Saw Elton John last night. Fantastic! Worst seats I've ever had for anything in my life, but I was still thrilled to watch Elton John again. What an amazing pianist!
K&K were kind enough to watch J for us while we went to the concert. Judging from the pictures and video footage they showed us after, it looked like he had lots of fun playing with his little friend, D. They chased each other all over the place, and had lots of fun sitting in D's rocking chair. I'm glad J is becoming so sociable.
J wasn't a really happy little guy today. And tonight, I fed him chicken nuggets 'til he passed out. Literally. He passed out. With a piece of nugget still clenched in his hand. He sleeps now. I hope he sleeps through tonight. These days, he's taken to waking up at 2 am.
And in other news ... my tonsils are infected again. TADA!
Behind in my course. Tired. Grumpy. Need to study, but can't. Must go to sleep and let my tonsils heal. Again. (Why don't they just take them out, already?!?!)
'Night.
Saturday, August 19, 2006
Anniversaries, Tonsils, and a Fat Lip
The following post is a writing catastrophe. I don't care.
Well, it was my parents' 50th anniversary this weekend. We went out for dinner with them on their actual anniversary. Tonight, there was a party for all of the extended family. Good Food + Good Family = Good Times.
Or not quite so much.
Tonight, J took a tumble. He didn't exactly fall down the stairs; he fell on the stairs. Early into the evening at my parents' anniversary party. He decided to try to walk down like a big boy and, though we were right there, we just didn't react quickly enough. He fell and banged his head on the hardwood railing, putting his top teeth partway through his bottom lip.
We carried our bleeding little boy up to the bathroom and tried to stop the bleeding and keep the swelling down. We offered popsicles and cold water. He was unimpressed. He cuddled in, rubbing his face against me and smearing blood all over himself and my good outfit. I was glad that I didn't wear the pretty white dress with the blue flowers that I was contemplating; blood will come out of the blue shirt I had on with greater ease.
After J stopped bleeding, he was still in a bad mood. He was hurt and he hadn't slept well today. He was just exhausted. His lip swelled up, and he didn't want to eat anything. He was hungry. He was making strange, and there were many people milling around. And he had a diaper rash, which just can't be comfortable.
He had a dose of Tylenol.
He ran around like a little maniac. He screamed and cried. A few people shot us dirty looks; like we could do anything about the fussing baby. He just would not be happy. We nearly left before food. But we plugged away, managed to eat (H ate first, then I got to eat after) and even partake in some dessert before we took little Mr. Sunshine home for sleep.
He was asleep within 5 minutes. We drove around for a bit just to make sure he was out cold, and then came home. He sleeps peacefully in his crib. I hope his mouth feels better tomorrow.
As for me, the tonsillitis is back. Again. (ACK!) Why won't they take them out? Oh, that's right. Because they are stupid. My throat is bleeding, and it feels like little popcorn shards are cutting into my glands. It's a delightful sensation, I tell you; you should all try it. Well, at least my doctor should try it. I bet he'd have someone take his tonsils out in a big hurry!
I am going to go now. To bed with me. Into the Winnie-the-Pooh nightshirt that I am far too old to continue to wear but insist on wearing anyway since I own it and it is comfy and fits. It makes me feel better, and it's only for sleep anyway. (Though I did wear it as a T-shirt at the grocery store recently; no one batted an eye.) Cuddle up in my nice comfy bed, put my MP3 player on, and ... SNORE!!
It's a good life.
Maybe my tonsils will be a bit better tomorrow. I hope they at least stop bleeding through the night. And I hope J is in better spirits in the morning.
Morning.
Morning is good. Fresh and clean; full of promise. Everything is new, and anything that's gone before is done. Sunrise, and a fresh start.
Yes. Morning. Morning is good.
Happy Anniversary, Mom and Dad. I love you.
Well, it was my parents' 50th anniversary this weekend. We went out for dinner with them on their actual anniversary. Tonight, there was a party for all of the extended family. Good Food + Good Family = Good Times.
Or not quite so much.
Tonight, J took a tumble. He didn't exactly fall down the stairs; he fell on the stairs. Early into the evening at my parents' anniversary party. He decided to try to walk down like a big boy and, though we were right there, we just didn't react quickly enough. He fell and banged his head on the hardwood railing, putting his top teeth partway through his bottom lip.
We carried our bleeding little boy up to the bathroom and tried to stop the bleeding and keep the swelling down. We offered popsicles and cold water. He was unimpressed. He cuddled in, rubbing his face against me and smearing blood all over himself and my good outfit. I was glad that I didn't wear the pretty white dress with the blue flowers that I was contemplating; blood will come out of the blue shirt I had on with greater ease.
After J stopped bleeding, he was still in a bad mood. He was hurt and he hadn't slept well today. He was just exhausted. His lip swelled up, and he didn't want to eat anything. He was hungry. He was making strange, and there were many people milling around. And he had a diaper rash, which just can't be comfortable.
He had a dose of Tylenol.
He ran around like a little maniac. He screamed and cried. A few people shot us dirty looks; like we could do anything about the fussing baby. He just would not be happy. We nearly left before food. But we plugged away, managed to eat (H ate first, then I got to eat after) and even partake in some dessert before we took little Mr. Sunshine home for sleep.
He was asleep within 5 minutes. We drove around for a bit just to make sure he was out cold, and then came home. He sleeps peacefully in his crib. I hope his mouth feels better tomorrow.
As for me, the tonsillitis is back. Again. (ACK!) Why won't they take them out? Oh, that's right. Because they are stupid. My throat is bleeding, and it feels like little popcorn shards are cutting into my glands. It's a delightful sensation, I tell you; you should all try it. Well, at least my doctor should try it. I bet he'd have someone take his tonsils out in a big hurry!
I am going to go now. To bed with me. Into the Winnie-the-Pooh nightshirt that I am far too old to continue to wear but insist on wearing anyway since I own it and it is comfy and fits. It makes me feel better, and it's only for sleep anyway. (Though I did wear it as a T-shirt at the grocery store recently; no one batted an eye.) Cuddle up in my nice comfy bed, put my MP3 player on, and ... SNORE!!
It's a good life.
Maybe my tonsils will be a bit better tomorrow. I hope they at least stop bleeding through the night. And I hope J is in better spirits in the morning.
Morning.
Morning is good. Fresh and clean; full of promise. Everything is new, and anything that's gone before is done. Sunrise, and a fresh start.
Yes. Morning. Morning is good.
Happy Anniversary, Mom and Dad. I love you.
Saturday, December 24, 2005
Go to sleep!
Mommy is sick. She has a chest cold, once again, and she keeps coughing and hacking. She has Christmas preparations to complete tomorrow. She has family coming for supper tomorrow evening. She has housework to do.
She is exhausted. Her arms are going numb. Her back aches every time she moves, coughs, or takes a deep breath. Her chest hurts from all the coughing. Her costochondritis is returning because of this.
Daddy is sleeping peacefully, despite your fits of rage. Mommy wants to go to bed too, but she finds your screams an unpleasant distraction. She wonders how Daddy can sleep through it. But she shouldn't be surprised; Daddy falls asleep in the middle of conversations. Mommy feels annoyed this morning, and she is easily irritated when she is tired like this.
Why will you not go to sleep so that Mommy can rest? Don't you care that she is so tired and weak that she wants to cry? Please go to sleep. Please?
She is exhausted. Her arms are going numb. Her back aches every time she moves, coughs, or takes a deep breath. Her chest hurts from all the coughing. Her costochondritis is returning because of this.
Daddy is sleeping peacefully, despite your fits of rage. Mommy wants to go to bed too, but she finds your screams an unpleasant distraction. She wonders how Daddy can sleep through it. But she shouldn't be surprised; Daddy falls asleep in the middle of conversations. Mommy feels annoyed this morning, and she is easily irritated when she is tired like this.
Why will you not go to sleep so that Mommy can rest? Don't you care that she is so tired and weak that she wants to cry? Please go to sleep. Please?
Friday, December 23, 2005
"Cough": Reprise
J's cold is spreading. Now he and I are both coughing from the chest. H is trying to fight it off. J has been grumpy and crying this morning. He is neither wet nor hungry, so he is simply crabby. He does not want to be held, nor does he wish to play in his exersaucer, nor does he wish to nap. Nothing is working to make him happy. It is affecting my mood, which was very good earlier.
I am trying to maintain composure and the happiness I had earlier, but I am becoming rather testy. I wish I could make my baby happy this morning. He is such a nice baby when he is happy.
Cough, cough, cough ...
I am trying to maintain composure and the happiness I had earlier, but I am becoming rather testy. I wish I could make my baby happy this morning. He is such a nice baby when he is happy.
Cough, cough, cough ...
Tuesday, November 29, 2005
Refresher for the day
Last day before dreaded exam night. I have today and tomorrow morning/early afternoon left to prepare, and then I must stop in order to be moderately refreshed before writing the exam.
Must do:
Must do:
- The 6 remaining past and practice exams (at least 2 in exam conditions).
- Refreshers on parts of modules 4 (this one is critical; I don't know it well at all, and it could be worth a significant portion of my exam), 8, 9 and 10, as I could not answer all of the "learning objectives" in these modules.
- A review of "model financial statements" section of online resources.
- I finally understand the cash flow statement.
- I have done 9 past exams so far, and have not gotten a score below 80%.
Sunday, November 27, 2005
I am "above-average"
You may wonder why my user pic is of J, and not of me. Well, quite simply, I am "above-average" (read: I am a fat girl). I used to be thin. Once. Long ago. But those days are behind me, and I hate hate HATE the way I look now. This being the case, size labels, the mirror, and the camera have become my sworn enemies and I simply will not post a picture of myself until I lose some weight.
If that ever happens.
Which it won't. Because I can't seem to get up the motivation it would take to watch what I eat and exercise. And because I am really busy with my courses and the baby, and I just don't have much time to think of stuff like meal planning.
So here I am, carrying around an extra 45 or so pounds that I just can't seem to part with. And none of my old clothes fit since J's birth. (In fact, I am somewhat ashamed to admit that I still wear certain camouflaging pairs of maternity pants.) I can't bring myself to buy new clothes, because trying on clothes invariably means being confronted with size labels and mirrors (two of my sworn enemies) and because I generally hate spending money. Especially now, when I'm on mat leave and funds are tight.
But my brother-in-law is getting married on New Years Day, and we also have a swanky Christmas party to attend this Friday. And I can hardly go to these events dressed in maternity pants and an oversized Spiderman t-shirt now, can I?
So (during a study break today) off to the mall I trudged, begrudgingly, hacking up a lung and with J in tow, to try and take advantage of certain department store sales. My voice is shot; it's not gone completely, but I sound just like Marlon Brando in "The Godfather". And I have work to do, but I couldn't put this off any longer. I need a dressy outfit for Friday, and I just don't have a lot of time available for shopping.
Now, for some unknown reason, designers seem to feel that we "above-average" women all want to wear either really revealing clothing (no sleeves, short skirts, clingy, sheer fabric) or gunny sacks (straight lines, shape concealing, straight from Rue McClanahan's wardrobe in "The Golden Girls"). We have our very own section - right next to the Petites (because we don't feel self-conscious enough, thank you very much) - and our section is manned by an anorexic salesgirl (because she knows something about what we would want to wear; riiiiiggggghhhhht). They try not to call us "plus-sized" any longer, as it's not PC; now, our section is coined "above-average" (as in "your heart's in danger and your joints may give out at a moment's notice, but it's a good thing - really").
So there I was, hunting through department store racks, for anything with even a hint of a sleeve! Tough to come by, let me tell you. And I finally found two tasteful-looking (no gunny sack) dressy outfits in my size that had sleeves. I tried them on, and was dismayed to discover that they were actually not designed for women my size, but rather for what the skinny little boobless designers imagine skinny little boobless women might look like if you widened them, you know, with a carnival mirror. In fact, once I put it on, I realized that one top would only be suitable for attending a roller-disco. And who goes there? Not me, obviously; that would be too much like exercise!
The long and short of it seems to be that department store clothing just does not hang properly on women of my ... particular ... stature.
So off I trudged, with a heavy heart, to the fat-girl store. The store designed specifically for the "above-average" woman. And here, I managed to find an outfit, in my size, that is just concealing enough and still keeps my shape in tact. But the down side to this is that I had to buy an outfit from the fat-girl store, and my self-esteem has been adversely affected.
It is a nice outfit, though.
If that ever happens.
Which it won't. Because I can't seem to get up the motivation it would take to watch what I eat and exercise. And because I am really busy with my courses and the baby, and I just don't have much time to think of stuff like meal planning.
So here I am, carrying around an extra 45 or so pounds that I just can't seem to part with. And none of my old clothes fit since J's birth. (In fact, I am somewhat ashamed to admit that I still wear certain camouflaging pairs of maternity pants.) I can't bring myself to buy new clothes, because trying on clothes invariably means being confronted with size labels and mirrors (two of my sworn enemies) and because I generally hate spending money. Especially now, when I'm on mat leave and funds are tight.
But my brother-in-law is getting married on New Years Day, and we also have a swanky Christmas party to attend this Friday. And I can hardly go to these events dressed in maternity pants and an oversized Spiderman t-shirt now, can I?
So (during a study break today) off to the mall I trudged, begrudgingly, hacking up a lung and with J in tow, to try and take advantage of certain department store sales. My voice is shot; it's not gone completely, but I sound just like Marlon Brando in "The Godfather". And I have work to do, but I couldn't put this off any longer. I need a dressy outfit for Friday, and I just don't have a lot of time available for shopping.
Now, for some unknown reason, designers seem to feel that we "above-average" women all want to wear either really revealing clothing (no sleeves, short skirts, clingy, sheer fabric) or gunny sacks (straight lines, shape concealing, straight from Rue McClanahan's wardrobe in "The Golden Girls"). We have our very own section - right next to the Petites (because we don't feel self-conscious enough, thank you very much) - and our section is manned by an anorexic salesgirl (because she knows something about what we would want to wear; riiiiiggggghhhhht). They try not to call us "plus-sized" any longer, as it's not PC; now, our section is coined "above-average" (as in "your heart's in danger and your joints may give out at a moment's notice, but it's a good thing - really").
So there I was, hunting through department store racks, for anything with even a hint of a sleeve! Tough to come by, let me tell you. And I finally found two tasteful-looking (no gunny sack) dressy outfits in my size that had sleeves. I tried them on, and was dismayed to discover that they were actually not designed for women my size, but rather for what the skinny little boobless designers imagine skinny little boobless women might look like if you widened them, you know, with a carnival mirror. In fact, once I put it on, I realized that one top would only be suitable for attending a roller-disco. And who goes there? Not me, obviously; that would be too much like exercise!
The long and short of it seems to be that department store clothing just does not hang properly on women of my ... particular ... stature.
So off I trudged, with a heavy heart, to the fat-girl store. The store designed specifically for the "above-average" woman. And here, I managed to find an outfit, in my size, that is just concealing enough and still keeps my shape in tact. But the down side to this is that I had to buy an outfit from the fat-girl store, and my self-esteem has been adversely affected.
It is a nice outfit, though.
Saturday, November 26, 2005
Needs
Module 1: needs some brush-up re accounting standards
Module 2: needs study of financial statement formats
Module 3: needs practice
Module 4: needs a refresher, bad
Module 5: needs practice with PV/FV tables
Module 6: needs me to function while awake
Modules 7-10: need audio lecture review and re-assessment
Four days to exam night. One more audio lecture. One more self-test. Many more practice exams. "And miles to go before I sleep".
**********
It is bronchitis.
Doctor confirmed it today.
Cough, cough, hack, splutter.
Module 2: needs study of financial statement formats
Module 3: needs practice
Module 4: needs a refresher, bad
Module 5: needs practice with PV/FV tables
Module 6: needs me to function while awake
Modules 7-10: need audio lecture review and re-assessment
Four days to exam night. One more audio lecture. One more self-test. Many more practice exams. "And miles to go before I sleep".
**********
It is bronchitis.
Doctor confirmed it today.
Cough, cough, hack, splutter.
You make me feel like ranting
I'm sick. Really sick. Preparing for an exam and feeling stressed. Really stressed. J was grumpy yesterday. Really grumpy.
So when H's friend called and wanted H to meet him for coffee last night, I would have liked it very much if H had said that it wasn't a good night; that his wife was sick and studying for an exam and he was needed at home. But he didn't. And when a time was suggested, I would have liked it very much if that time hadn't been during J's typical naptime, so that J could go with them. But it was, so he couldn't. So H went without J (forgetting to take the cell phone, so I couldn't reach him if I needed to), and left me to deal with J, study for my exam, and just generally be sick.
J woke up roughly half an hour after H left. I changed him (twice), fed him, gave him some extra cereal and green beans since he seemed particularly hungry, bathed him, got him all ready for bed, and then heard H enter the house.
H walked through the door, forgetting to bring the frozen beverage I had asked him to pick up to take down the swelling in my throat. He quickly ran back out to get it (without being asked; score 1 for H). When he returned, I was in the living room snuggling with a very awake J, with all my study materials splayed out in front of me. I asked H to please take care of J while I put the diapers in to be washed and did some more studying. H waited on this for a bit; first, he pilled the cat (which was necessary and didn't take a lot of time) and then he took J, and I put the diapers in the wash.
I came back upstairs and asked H to put J to bed when he was ready, put the diapers in the dryer and put them away when they were done, and to wash out J's dishes for me for the morning. (Ordinarily, we share these types of chores, but I was studying for my exam and I am sick, and H had just had an evening out, and it was only 9:00-ish, so I thought this was a reasonable request. Sticking the diapers in the dryer and washing a bowl, spoon and cup are hardly time-consuming tasks, really.)
So what happened? H put J to bed, fed the cats, then fell asleep on the couch. Did I notice? No. I was studying, and having problems with one particular statement that was taking all of my attention.
I woke H up at around 11:30, stating that it was probably time for bed. H agreed, and started to go upstairs. I asked him if he had put the diapers in the dryer. He had forgotten to do so, but went down to do it before bed (note: this time, he did not ask me to do it instead; score 2 for H). We then went to bed.
This morning I awoke, after a restless night of coughing and hacking, to discover that I had roughly one-third of my voice left and that this rather vicious cold appears to be turning into bronchitis (never mind how I know; that would fall under the head of "TMI"). H got up, pilled and fed the cats, had a bath, changed J and brought him to me for food. All pretty normal.
Then, since H had some extra time before he had to start getting ready for work, he sat down to play some computer solitaire. I cuddled with J to get him happy enough for playtime in the crib and then put him back in his crib to play; then I had a shower. When I got out, H was leaving for work. He headed off, and I got ready to face the day.
Now, how many clean diapers were in J's room at this point? One. Where were the others? Still in the dryer. Where were J's dishes? Dirty, in the sink. When I am so sick and busy these days, why didn't H attend to those chores this morning instead of playing computer solitaire? Well, he forgot. Odd, isn't it, since he changed J this morning and saw how low the diaper cache was at that time, but whatever.
I love my husband. He is usually a very supportive and giving person. I remind myself that everyone has their off moments. This was one of H's, I think. And perhaps I am being unreasonable in any event. Small stuff drives me crazy when I'm under the weather, and my perceptions become skewed as a result. I'll get over it. I'm sure I will.
Or I'll kick his butt just as soon as I feel better. Either way, really.
End of unreasonable rant.
So ... I have laryngitis. If you call and I don't answer the phone, you will understand. J and I are missing swimming this morning; this seems advisable. I have an appointment with the doctor this morning to get this stupid cold checked out, so that will be good. And then, more studying. Yippee.
J played happily in his crib while I did a few household chores. When I returned to check on him, this is what I found:
I got him untangled and back in the proper spot at the bottom of his crib. When I went back in a few moments later, I found him once more at the top of his crib, this time with the racoon blanket pulled completely over his face.
He dearly loves playtime!
So when H's friend called and wanted H to meet him for coffee last night, I would have liked it very much if H had said that it wasn't a good night; that his wife was sick and studying for an exam and he was needed at home. But he didn't. And when a time was suggested, I would have liked it very much if that time hadn't been during J's typical naptime, so that J could go with them. But it was, so he couldn't. So H went without J (forgetting to take the cell phone, so I couldn't reach him if I needed to), and left me to deal with J, study for my exam, and just generally be sick.
J woke up roughly half an hour after H left. I changed him (twice), fed him, gave him some extra cereal and green beans since he seemed particularly hungry, bathed him, got him all ready for bed, and then heard H enter the house.
H walked through the door, forgetting to bring the frozen beverage I had asked him to pick up to take down the swelling in my throat. He quickly ran back out to get it (without being asked; score 1 for H). When he returned, I was in the living room snuggling with a very awake J, with all my study materials splayed out in front of me. I asked H to please take care of J while I put the diapers in to be washed and did some more studying. H waited on this for a bit; first, he pilled the cat (which was necessary and didn't take a lot of time) and then he took J, and I put the diapers in the wash.
I came back upstairs and asked H to put J to bed when he was ready, put the diapers in the dryer and put them away when they were done, and to wash out J's dishes for me for the morning. (Ordinarily, we share these types of chores, but I was studying for my exam and I am sick, and H had just had an evening out, and it was only 9:00-ish, so I thought this was a reasonable request. Sticking the diapers in the dryer and washing a bowl, spoon and cup are hardly time-consuming tasks, really.)
So what happened? H put J to bed, fed the cats, then fell asleep on the couch. Did I notice? No. I was studying, and having problems with one particular statement that was taking all of my attention.
I woke H up at around 11:30, stating that it was probably time for bed. H agreed, and started to go upstairs. I asked him if he had put the diapers in the dryer. He had forgotten to do so, but went down to do it before bed (note: this time, he did not ask me to do it instead; score 2 for H). We then went to bed.
This morning I awoke, after a restless night of coughing and hacking, to discover that I had roughly one-third of my voice left and that this rather vicious cold appears to be turning into bronchitis (never mind how I know; that would fall under the head of "TMI"). H got up, pilled and fed the cats, had a bath, changed J and brought him to me for food. All pretty normal.
Then, since H had some extra time before he had to start getting ready for work, he sat down to play some computer solitaire. I cuddled with J to get him happy enough for playtime in the crib and then put him back in his crib to play; then I had a shower. When I got out, H was leaving for work. He headed off, and I got ready to face the day.
Now, how many clean diapers were in J's room at this point? One. Where were the others? Still in the dryer. Where were J's dishes? Dirty, in the sink. When I am so sick and busy these days, why didn't H attend to those chores this morning instead of playing computer solitaire? Well, he forgot. Odd, isn't it, since he changed J this morning and saw how low the diaper cache was at that time, but whatever.
I love my husband. He is usually a very supportive and giving person. I remind myself that everyone has their off moments. This was one of H's, I think. And perhaps I am being unreasonable in any event. Small stuff drives me crazy when I'm under the weather, and my perceptions become skewed as a result. I'll get over it. I'm sure I will.
Or I'll kick his butt just as soon as I feel better. Either way, really.
End of unreasonable rant.
So ... I have laryngitis. If you call and I don't answer the phone, you will understand. J and I are missing swimming this morning; this seems advisable. I have an appointment with the doctor this morning to get this stupid cold checked out, so that will be good. And then, more studying. Yippee.
J played happily in his crib while I did a few household chores. When I returned to check on him, this is what I found:
I got him untangled and back in the proper spot at the bottom of his crib. When I went back in a few moments later, I found him once more at the top of his crib, this time with the racoon blanket pulled completely over his face.
He dearly loves playtime!
Friday, November 25, 2005
"Cough" - A Haiku
Coughing from the chest.
Asthmatic; this can't be good.
Hacking up a lung.
***********
The doctor's office has no openings today. I need to phone tomorrow at 9:00 and try to get in then. (Their pre-booked spots are taken, but apparently they will open up more slots in the morning.) I can't afford the time away from my books, but I also can't afford to be sick for my exam. If I have to pick one of the two evils, my health must win out. It's bad enough now that I can justify seeking help. So off to the doctor I will go. I wish they could fit me in today.
I am thankful that neither H nor J appear to have caught this nasty, nasty cold as of yet. H's sinuses are acting up today, but he gets that from time to time and it may be unrelated; I really hope he doesn't get sick like this. And I hope it goes away soon. It hurts. Bad.
***********
J was so sweet yesterday. He napped in the afternoon for a number of hours; he was in his swing, which he thought was fun. (I remember when he hated that swing, but those days are long gone now.) This gave me an opportunity to get in some studying (when I probably should have been sleeping, trying to rest up and get better - my priorities are skewed just now, so sue me). I may be prepared for this exam yet.
On that note, exam prep is going reasonably well now. I am following the audio lecturer's advice in strategies for the long answer solutions (preparing financial statements) and that works pretty well. I am glad that we have the exam review audio lectures; I'd be totally lost without them. Using the lecturer's strategies, I just prepared a cash flow statement (one of my really tough areas) correctly and in a reasonable period of time! I feel quite pleased with myself this morning.
***********
J has tried a pretty good variety of fruits and veggies now. He still prefers vegetables to fruits. He is not a "sweets" kind of kid just yet, and his favorite food to date appears to be green beans. He tolerates bananas, but his favorite fruit is still pears. He tried avocado yesterday; he didn't really seem to have an opinion on it one way or the other. I like it, however, because it is easy to prepare!
His two bottom teeth are coming in nicely. Still no sign of teeth up top. And still no interest in sitting up, but he loves to roll around and "scoot" on his back by kicking his feet. He loves to explore objects with his hands and taste-test everything that comes his way. He enjoys being on his tummy, and he will lift up both his head and feet and balance on his stomach, using his hands for support. He rubs his eyes when he is tired, but he fights sleep for all he's worth.
I love him so much!
***********
I feel bad; I have many pictures to upload, but no time to do so until after my exam. Look for updates to the photos menu, possibly the first weekend in December. I make no promises, but I will try!
Asthmatic; this can't be good.
Hacking up a lung.
***********
The doctor's office has no openings today. I need to phone tomorrow at 9:00 and try to get in then. (Their pre-booked spots are taken, but apparently they will open up more slots in the morning.) I can't afford the time away from my books, but I also can't afford to be sick for my exam. If I have to pick one of the two evils, my health must win out. It's bad enough now that I can justify seeking help. So off to the doctor I will go. I wish they could fit me in today.
I am thankful that neither H nor J appear to have caught this nasty, nasty cold as of yet. H's sinuses are acting up today, but he gets that from time to time and it may be unrelated; I really hope he doesn't get sick like this. And I hope it goes away soon. It hurts. Bad.
***********
J was so sweet yesterday. He napped in the afternoon for a number of hours; he was in his swing, which he thought was fun. (I remember when he hated that swing, but those days are long gone now.) This gave me an opportunity to get in some studying (when I probably should have been sleeping, trying to rest up and get better - my priorities are skewed just now, so sue me). I may be prepared for this exam yet.
On that note, exam prep is going reasonably well now. I am following the audio lecturer's advice in strategies for the long answer solutions (preparing financial statements) and that works pretty well. I am glad that we have the exam review audio lectures; I'd be totally lost without them. Using the lecturer's strategies, I just prepared a cash flow statement (one of my really tough areas) correctly and in a reasonable period of time! I feel quite pleased with myself this morning.
***********
J has tried a pretty good variety of fruits and veggies now. He still prefers vegetables to fruits. He is not a "sweets" kind of kid just yet, and his favorite food to date appears to be green beans. He tolerates bananas, but his favorite fruit is still pears. He tried avocado yesterday; he didn't really seem to have an opinion on it one way or the other. I like it, however, because it is easy to prepare!
His two bottom teeth are coming in nicely. Still no sign of teeth up top. And still no interest in sitting up, but he loves to roll around and "scoot" on his back by kicking his feet. He loves to explore objects with his hands and taste-test everything that comes his way. He enjoys being on his tummy, and he will lift up both his head and feet and balance on his stomach, using his hands for support. He rubs his eyes when he is tired, but he fights sleep for all he's worth.
I love him so much!
***********
I feel bad; I have many pictures to upload, but no time to do so until after my exam. Look for updates to the photos menu, possibly the first weekend in December. I make no promises, but I will try!
Thursday, November 24, 2005
Saturday, October 29, 2005
Wheeeee
Another day, another Halloween party. Tonight, we decided to go as the Spiderman family. (To clarify, think in terms of nice Jewish last names, like Goldman, Silverman, ... Spiderman). H and I both wore Spiderman t-shirts and J wore his Spiderman jammies and his Elmer Fudd hat. We were "Phil, Gina and Elmer Spiderman". We had no shoes that went with J's Spiderman jammies, but this was remedied by H, who suggested J's duckie sleeper should go under the Spiderman jammies so J would have "webbed feet". It was a lovely pun, and a good time was had at the party.
Until J decided it was time to go home, that is. He got mad and started to cry, and we had to leave. But that was probably okay; I still have studying to do, and my nephew's birthday party is tomorrow, so I have to buckle down into the wee small hours tonight. Busy these days.
*************
J drank out of a sippy cup for the first time today. We offered him some water from his sippy cup when he was having his dinner. He seemed to quite enjoy that. He did quite well with it. I was most impressed.
I was pretty unimpressed that we had to miss J's swimming lesson this morning, though. We tried to get there, but were stopped by a train. Literally. The thing took 20 minutes to clear the tracks, and by that time, we were going to be really late for swimming. It just didn't seem worth it to go and get ourselves and J ready so that we could hang in the pool for maybe 10 minutes, so we decided we'd best just forego it. I was disappointed; I love watching J play in the pool. But it was a wise choice, given the circumstances. C'est la vie.
*************
Tonsils are infected yet again. This time, it's the right side that's all swollen up and painful. I wish they would just take them out already.
But they won't.
Until J decided it was time to go home, that is. He got mad and started to cry, and we had to leave. But that was probably okay; I still have studying to do, and my nephew's birthday party is tomorrow, so I have to buckle down into the wee small hours tonight. Busy these days.
*************
J drank out of a sippy cup for the first time today. We offered him some water from his sippy cup when he was having his dinner. He seemed to quite enjoy that. He did quite well with it. I was most impressed.
I was pretty unimpressed that we had to miss J's swimming lesson this morning, though. We tried to get there, but were stopped by a train. Literally. The thing took 20 minutes to clear the tracks, and by that time, we were going to be really late for swimming. It just didn't seem worth it to go and get ourselves and J ready so that we could hang in the pool for maybe 10 minutes, so we decided we'd best just forego it. I was disappointed; I love watching J play in the pool. But it was a wise choice, given the circumstances. C'est la vie.
*************
Tonsils are infected yet again. This time, it's the right side that's all swollen up and painful. I wish they would just take them out already.
But they won't.
Friday, October 21, 2005
I am a little black rain cloud
Today, J's teeth are bugging him. My tonsils are swollen and infected again, and I'm exhausted. J has stomach cramps. H is working. I cancelled a visit with J's Memaw; I was not doing well, and I couldn't handle seeing people today. I have things to do, but can't muster the strength.
H received a phone call from me at work this morning. J was screaming in the background. He'd been screaming for awhile. By the time I phoned H, I was crying also. J was clearly in pain, and I couldn't help him. He'd had Tylenol and Anbesol, but he was still hurting. I didn't know what to do for him. It was most distressing. By the end of the conversation, I was sobbing and incoherent. Poor H was trying to understand me and be supportive, and I could barely hear him over the screaming J, as I tried to express my frustration.
What I said: "J is crying, and he won't stop, and he's in pain, and I can't help him."
What H heard: "Ja ca pa aaaaaa [squeak, squeak, squeak]."
J is napping. Finally. I feel a bit better, because he isn't in pain just now. But it occurs to me that I have not yet eaten today. This is alarmingly normal. I'd best eat now. And then... Homework? Housework? Sleep? I think the last option will win today. It is as it should be.
H received a phone call from me at work this morning. J was screaming in the background. He'd been screaming for awhile. By the time I phoned H, I was crying also. J was clearly in pain, and I couldn't help him. He'd had Tylenol and Anbesol, but he was still hurting. I didn't know what to do for him. It was most distressing. By the end of the conversation, I was sobbing and incoherent. Poor H was trying to understand me and be supportive, and I could barely hear him over the screaming J, as I tried to express my frustration.
What I said: "J is crying, and he won't stop, and he's in pain, and I can't help him."
What H heard: "Ja ca pa aaaaaa [squeak, squeak, squeak]."
J is napping. Finally. I feel a bit better, because he isn't in pain just now. But it occurs to me that I have not yet eaten today. This is alarmingly normal. I'd best eat now. And then... Homework? Housework? Sleep? I think the last option will win today. It is as it should be.
Wednesday, October 12, 2005
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