A petri dish of principle

So I'm trying to study for my exam, which is in a week. And, I don't know if I've mentioned this before, but all of the materials for this course changed for the 2008-09 school year. Dramatically changed. So that all the past exams from 2001 to 2008 ... yeah, none of them totally apply. Bits and pieces are usable, but for the most part they're not particularly helpful. So I'm studying them anyway, just for form and also to make sure I know the stuff that's still applicable, precious little of it that there is.

Also? There's an online course review that's supposed to be updated to the current term's materials. But it seems that someone just slapped "2008-09" on the top of last year's review and didn't touch anything else. Which is totally brilliant, and I hope they were paid well for this sheer genius.

Oh! And there are multiple choice questions that are meant to simulate the kind of multiple choice section we might see on our exam. Except that they aren't properly cross-referenced, no new material is included, one module is missing in its entirety, and much of the stuff we didn't study is still included.

But hey. It's a new course. And there are bound to be some growing pains. We're all trying to work through it and hoping for the best.

So anyway, I'm running one of the past exams from 2001, and I see an ethics question on the difference between in vivo and in vitro ethical principles. And I'm all "in vitro ethics?", and I wonder how exactly that would work. And also, what it is, since it's not in our current course materials but in my mind "in vitro" totally means something not remotely affiliated with accounting, except for the fact that it's really expensive. So then I start wondering how they can tell the girl ethics from the boy ethics, how they combine them together, where they implant, what the success rate is and, perhaps most importantly, what is this going to cost me this time? Because the Clomid was expensive enough. And also, I don't want to pay any more for this class, which was totally overpriced. And that's when I flashed back to that time in my earlier management accounting course where we were learning about ways to improve the CM ratio and I couldn't stop thinking about Robitussin cough syrup and how that totally works, but also has nothing to do with accounting, so I really don't know why we were studying it. I wish I knew why my management accounting courses always seem to reference stuff like this, 'cause I think that's awesome.

Suffice it to say, I am over-tired just now. And really ticked off at my course and its outdated resources. Also, I still have no clue what in vitro or in vivo ethics actually are or how to tell them apart, nor do I know why I should care.

On this day

Today is an anniversary.

I didn't blog much in 2007. I was really busy. And my mood was altered. And so, there is no entry to refer back to. But I remember the day. One year ago today.

H and I had difficulty conceiving our children. I had to take Clomid. And some other stuff as well, which I won't get into here. The medication has certain side effects that aren't at all pleasant. But ultimately, we got pregnant. Twice. So it was all worthwhile.

We were in Maui last September. And it was there that we learned that we were going to have a second child. We were ecstatic. And thankfully, the morning sickness didn't start until a few weeks post-vacation, so we still had a good time.

We came home and settled back into our routine. I went back to work. But the morning sickness was so awful this time around that I had trouble coping and keeping to my schedule, and I was taken out of work at the end of October. The plan was to return to work when the morning sickness subsided. Shortly thereafter, that plan was abandoned.

On this day last year, I was 10 weeks pregnant and suffering pronounced morning sickness. I was home alone with J, who had just gone down for his afternoon nap. I put a few toys away. And then I phoned H and my mother in a panic. There was blood. Red blood. Lots and lots of red blood.

I laid down and awaited their arrival. Mom would stay with J while H and I went to the emergency room.

We were scared. The bleed with J hadn't happened until I was 18 weeks along. J's issue was an abrupted placenta. And I ended up on bed rest for a combined total of 5 months. But this was different. This was earlier. And there was even more blood. I thought I'd lost my baby.

We arrived at the emergency room and were quickly seen. It seemed that history was repeating, and no one wanted to take chances. A check showed that I had not miscarried. "Threatened abortion" is the distasteful term given; it means "threatened miscarriage". I was put on rest, pending discussion with my obstetrician. A phone call and a couple of emails later, and I learned that my obstetrician wanted me to remain on bed rest until at least 20 weeks gestation. While it was too small to visualize on ultrasound, the symptomology indicated that the placenta was detatching. A second pregnancy, and a second abruption.

And ultimately, a second live birth. A second miracle.

I didn't get off bed rest until I was at 37 weeks. The bleeding just never resolved. And there were other complications that kept cropping up. It was hard. But it was worth it. I have my boys; my miracles.

On this day, we learned that a rare complication can still happen, and that it can occur more than once, defying probabilities. We learned that I just don't carry well, and we decided not to have any more children. And some days that saddens me, but it is for the best. Because neither H nor I ever want to go through that fear again, and we now know that it would happen.

Today is an anniversary. It marks a moment. Something we will always remember. On this day, we learned that our child was still with us, despite the complications and misgivings. We banded together as a family, with faith to beat the odds. We received help from family and friends. Prayer chains were begun and continued for seven months. We received support from others, too. Coworkers. Employers. Doctors.

Thanks to all of these, our miracle is here today.

Today is a good day.

Things have been quiet here lately

I am aware. Time for a few updates.

I'm about 16 weeks pregnant with #2 now. Already on bed rest, and have been for over a month now. I'm bed resting until at least 20 weeks, and we'll see from there. There are complications and, if they do not resolve, I'll likely be on bed rest until delivery. I'm due end of May. Bed rest is boring. There's not much that I can do. I miss work. It's hard to get to the computer. It's tough to blog. The worst part is that I can't pick up J. I miss cuddling my little boy. Thankfully, I have a supportive husband who has been taking good care of me and J. I just wish I could contribute. But I can't.

We went to Maui for a week in September. That's where we learned that we were expecting #2. It was a fantastic trip! Thankfully, the morning sickness didn't start until we returned. It's been pretty bad, though. I can't keep down even my prenatal vitamins. I'm concerned about proper nutrition for baby. But I'm doing my best.

On the J front, potty training is going well. J is rewarded with a sticker for sitting on the potty, and he receives an extra sticker for peeing. He usually gets two stickers. But he's not yet telling us when he needs to go, so he's generally wet between trips. I hope he will be trained soon. It would be helpful.

Also, we have managed to wean J from his "Ne-naw" (aka soother). He was only having it during naps and night. But we explained to him on Monday that Ne-naws are only for little tiny babies, and he's a little boy now and much too grown-up for a Ne-naw. He barely even squawked about it. Honestly, it was more tragic for me - my baby is growing up!!! But it needed to go, so it is gone.

J likes all kinds of books and toys now. He will often play with things that aren't really his toys. We have to monitor for safety. He has claimed one of our Halloween decorations - a silver skull - as one of his new toys. Apparently, J does not find this gross-looking thing particularly scary. We are having trouble getting it back into storage, since J keeps hiding it among his other toys. J also loves the design that is on the back of one of our rocking chairs. He thinks Design looks rather like a face, and he has conversations with it, shares toys with it, etc. Ah well, a couple of imaginary or inanimate friends never hurt anyone.

J enjoys singing. His favorite song is still "Mighty Machines", but he also enjoys "Jingle Bells" and "Mister Golden Sun", among other little tunes. He prefers to sing in a gruff and grumbly voice rather than his usual sweet little voice. He sounds rather like a Sesame Street monster when he starts up, I swear. But it's very cute.

Now, onto the school front: I'm almost through my stats class. Thankfully, when I was put on bed rest, the teacher turned it into a distance ed class for me, and I have managed to get good grades while lying still on my couch. It has not been a really tough class. I've got enough marks to pass the class already, and a couple more projects to complete still. Hopefully I'll be able to complete them. I've gotten doctor permission to take a winter class also, provided it too is distance ed and can be completed while I lie down. So I'll be taking Finance next. It's a long process to get my designation, but I'm sure it will be worth it once it's all done.

I'm tired. I'm bored. Send emails. Phone me. Whatever you've got to do. I'm relying on others for entertainment now. So go on ... entertain me!

I will now end this post with a things you never thought you'd hear your child say:

J: Kitty is eating my skull!!

Definition of irony

I just read a blurb from one of my old friends. Seems she found some old vials of fertility drugs this morning, while searching for eggs.

It made me giggle!

Mental problems

My mind is failing me, as I try to make my way through my textbook. You see, I am easily distracted.

I was part of a support structured message board for a time, where we used certain short-form terminology. Terms like "ttc", "cm", "dh", and the like became a part of normal language for me.

So it's problematic for me now, as I study cost-volume-profit analysis and the terms and ratios that go along with it. Every time I read a passage on the "CM ratio", I think of something very, very different from what is being referenced in my book. Then I reflect on that, and my brain freezes. I go back to re-read the section that I just missed, and I get stuck on the same passage. Again and again.

"How does one improve the CM ratio?" Take Robitussin.

I don't know what else to say.