Friday, September 10, 2010

Show 'n' Tell

"Good morning, J", I said. "It's show 'n' tell day at school today", I said.

J's school has themes for show 'n' tell. Today, the theme is colours.

"Do you want to take my rainbow maker for show 'n' tell today, J?" I asked.

"Yeah!" responded J, happily.

J was excited for show 'n' tell. He loves to show his friends new things and explain how everything works. The rainbow maker is a very cool thing indeed, and has so many colours for his friends to enjoy. And it has a scientific bent to it; J loves science. So we cuddled together, and I held the rainbow maker and explained its workings to J. He listened attentively, soaking it all in.

"See, J? There's this little suction cup here. You get it wet, and you stick it to a window. Then the sun shines in the window and hits this little black angled rectangle - that's the 'solar panel'."


"Yes. And that solar panel powers the 'battery', over here."


"Yup. Right here. Then the battery makes all these brightly coloured wheels turn inside the rainbow maker. See the wheels?"


"Those wheels are the 'motor'."

"That's the motor?"

"Yes, it is. And when the motor runs, it turns this big crystal on the bottom. The crystal is a 'prism'."

"A prism?"

"Uh huh. And as the sun shines on the prism, the light becomes 'refracted'. Say refracted, J."

"Refracted," said J, with his typical perfect pronunciation.

"Right! 'Refracted'. See? Light gets refracted through the prism, and then the refracted light shines on all the walls. And that makes the rainbows."


"You love the rainbows, don't you J? You love how they dance around the room, huh?"

And J nodded.

"It's dark and cloudy right now. But we can still see the rainbows, online. Do you want to watch a video of the rainbow maker?"

J nodded again. And we cuddled together and watched a quick Youtube video of the rainbow maker. J stared in awe, rapt with attention, thrilled to see the rainbows flying about the room on my computer screen.

"Pretty! Pretty!"

"Now, it's supposed to be a cloudy day, J. So the rainbow maker might not make the rainbows for your class. But you can tell them how the rainbow maker works, and you can take it back to school on a day when it's sunny so your friends can see the rainbows. Does that sound good?"

"Yeah. That sounds good", J agreed.

"It's delicate, J. You have to be careful with it. It's not a toy to be played with. And you can't put it in your mouth. But we'll tell your teacher how it works, and she'll stick it to the window for you and gently turn the crystal for your class if the sun isn't strong enough to do it for you. Okay?"

"Okay", J agreed. And then he held the rainbow maker, and started manually turning the crystal at the bottom.

"Careful, J", I said. "Remember, that is delicate. You have to be very gentle. You really shouldn't play with it like that".

[No response]

"Gentle, J. J? Please don't play with it like that, J. J? J?"

[No response]


And then J was off and running like a shot, rainbow maker in hand. He moves quickly - much more quickly than his old and decrepit mother. He smacked the suction cup down, adhering it to his glass-topped craft table, then grabbed hold of the crystal at the bottom and pulled with all his might.

And this is why J's show 'n' tell item for today is a tri-coloured plastic airplane. At some point today, I hope to figure out how to reattach the crystal to the rainbow maker. That would be lovely.


Saturday, February 13, 2010

Gadgets? We don't need no stinking gadgets!

Ordinarily, I delete spam comments. I'm fairly ruthless about it, too. I click on the little "remove forever" button, so no one can even see the trail of spam. Its presence irritates me, and I have no problem with removing forever all traces of it.

But today, I will make an exception. Today, someone posted a spam comment that I was ridiculously tempted to keep. I mean, I couldn't keep it; it is spam, after all. But while I deleted the comment, I didn't check the "remove forever" button; it was a particularly delightful read, and I felt okay about preserving the history on this one for a change.

I decided to write about the experience here. Why, you ask? Because the choice of post for this particular comment was so poor as to make the random comment completely awesome, and I really wanted to share!

Now, since the spammer in question actually had to make it through the word verification feature, you would think he might have taken a moment to read the post he was commenting on. It's a short post. Tiny, really. Would have only taken a couple of seconds. Less time than it takes to go through the pesky word verification feature. But no! No, he couldn't read the post on which he was commenting! And that is what has made this moment truly wonderful and gotten my morning off to a really great start. So, thanks for that!

The comment in question was posted on this old post, about porn spam and poop. Obviously, I've eliminated the comment's link, as ... well - it's spam and all. But the rest of this comment is verbatim:

"Interesting post as for me. It would be great to read something more about this theme. The only thing I would like to see here is a few pics of some gadgets.
John Karverv"

John. Seriously. Dude. It's a post about porn spam and poop. And you want pictures of gadgets with that? I don't think I have any such pictures. What gadgets did you have in mind, John? Maybe I can help direct you to the right place. Or an appropriate support group for your particular ... problem.

(On a rather unrelated note, I think I'm about ready to return to the bloggy world and write some real posts again. Maybe visit friends' blogs. Maybe even comment! Could happen. Should happen. And I think it will happen very, very soon. Stay tuned!)

Friday, December 25, 2009

Deck the halls with your questionable photos?? No. I don't think so.

Merry Christmas!

Today, a spammer posted a random porn link on my blog. On an old post, all about how my darling husband parodied an ABBA song to help our son with his potty training. Yup. Lots of references to fecal matter in that one. Just screams "porn", doesn't it?

Ho. Ho. Ho.


Friday, November 13, 2009

Because mouse poop is funny

So apparently, if you don't post for a few months, the spammers come and get you. They put comments in random posts, thinking you won't notice.


So for the sake of dissuading the spammers, I shall post. Though I've still not a great deal to say. I'm going through something of a depressive period, and I can't organize my thoughts coherently. It's easier not to write. But write, I shall. For it is now apparent that the penalty for writer's block is spam in droves, and that is unacceptable to me.

Feel free to skip this nonsensical post if you like. I just haven't got much to say.


First things first: I got scholarships! Two scholarships! One of them is a coveted national award. Annually, there's only one of these granted in each level. And I took it for Level 4. So I'm happy. There's cash involved. Now I can afford to buy tires. Because they continue to be punctured on a fairly regular basis. I still don't know why, but continue my conspiracy theories.

Secondly, J was moved into Pre-Kindergarten at school. I thought I had another year of preschool, but Pre-K is here. I'm getting used to it. He likes it a lot.

J says many funny things these days. But by the time I get to my computer, I've usually forgotten. I live in something of a fog lately, I'm afraid. But off the top of my head:

J: When I get big, I'm going to paint all the street lights green.

J: Can we go to the AC/DC Centre?
Note: This is J's term for the "ACT Centre", a pool and rec centre that he really enjoys.

J: Today, we talked about our favourite books at show and tell. Thali's favourite book is called 'Diarrhea Mouse'.
T: I think you mean 'Diary of a Mouse'.
J: No. It's 'Diarrhea Mouse'.
T: 'Diary of a Mouse'?
J: No. 'Diarrhea Mouse'.
H: J. Is the book about a mouse that sits on the toilet all the time and does absolutely nothing else? Or is it about a mouse that writes in a little book?
J: Oooooh ... [giggle] It's about a mouse that writes.
T: Ah. 'Diary of a Mouse'.

The final thing that I shall report on is N. Who is sick. Constantly. He's having teething issues. He had a flu bug a week or two ago. He now has a cold with fever. He is rather inconsolable. Last night, he even cried during bathtime. Poor little Pineapple.

There. I posted. Now quit spamming my comments, you nasty robots!

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

My apologies

I wish to take a moment to apologize for the rather severe case of writer's block that I have experienced of late. I promise that there will be new posts, just as soon as I can come up with something worthwhile to write.

I will be back. Sometimes, it just takes awhile.


Monday, July 27, 2009


Just a quick post to update.

J saw a pediatric gastroenterologist today. They think he has a reflux issue. He'll start getting treated with some meds. Hopefully, if food stops making his tummy hurt and he stops gagging and throwing up, he'll be more inclined to eat. I think his eating is slowly getting better, and I think his time is starting to improve also ... it no longer seems to take the boy several hours to eat a quarter of a sandwich. So that's good.

What's great, though? He's in the 25th percentile for height and weight! We've gotten so used to a struggle - used to hearing bad news ... he's below the 5th percentile ... try this nutritional supplement ... he's too small ... if he won't gain, we'll have to do a G-tube ... failure to thrive ...

So yeah. Today was such a welcome change. Today, we got good news. He's smaller than averaqe in both height and weight. But at last, he's on the charts. He's not a malnourished starving kid who needs to be tube fed. He's not stunting his growth by refusing to eat. He's in the normal range, at last!

Now the trick is keeping him there. But I am feeling optimistic now. Sweet little J may be okay yet. We keep plodding along, and do our best.

It's all we can do.

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

A quick non sequitur

H: I think I'm right.
J: Well, I think I'm right.
H: So you think Daddy's wrong, then?
J: Yes. You're wrong, and I'm right.
H: No. You're wrong, and I'm right.
J: No. You're wrong, and I'm right.
H: But I'm the Daddy. So I'm always right.
J: But we have a Daffy Duck movie. So I'm always right.

Yup. Makes perfect sense.

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

RTT: Because I'm sick and the baby's angry. Apparently.


Make the baby stop crying. Make the baby stop crying? Make the baby stop crying!

Debt sucks. Just sayin'.

The Reese's peanut butter cup commercial mocks me, since I am out of peanut butter cups. Oh, delicious peanuty goodness, why do you taunt me?

New class, new policy. I no longer answer questions on the student collaborative board if they are addressed to me personally. I'm not the course tutor, and I won't give out my assignment answers. That would be called "cheating". So just stop asking, and we'll get along much, much better. I promise.

OMG! "Vision Quest" is on! And I'm watching it!

Sick as a dog yesterday. Slightly better today. Hopefully I'll be all fine tomorrow.

There are dishes to be washed, but I'm still lacking energy. Tired and sick. Must rest. Maybe later tonight, I'll be up for some chores. Just now, I need to nap and try to knock out this cold virus. But it's totally not working. I just can't nap. And why can't I nap?

Make the baby stop crying. Make the baby stop crying? Make the baby stop crying!


Head on over to Keely's. Grab a button. Create your own Random Tuesday Thoughts. Do it. You know you want to.

'Kay, I gotta go. Obviously, the baby's crying.


Thursday, July 09, 2009

It's educational, because I didn't know Maleficent was British

First, a word of caution.

Please ignore the nasty Blair Witch Project type special effects that occur largely at the tail end of this video as I searched frantically for the stop button. The camera is still pretty new, and I have yet to learn to edit these things.

And now for our feature presentation. We are pleased to present the opening sequence of "Sleeping Beauty", as told by J.

My kid, ladies and gentlemen. He's teh awesomeness. Yup, yup.

(One day, I hope to be able to upload videos through the button in Blogger, instead of having to use Youtube. Sadly, Blogger keeps giving me failure messages. This does not help my self-esteem issues, Blogger. Smarten up.)

Wednesday, July 08, 2009

Don't sweat the small stuff ... or, you know, sweat a lot

I had a moment today. A moment where I felt really stupid. A moment where I thought to myself "I can't finish my designation; I'm not smart enough". You ever get like that? It happens to me more than I'd really care to admit. But then, today, I realized that it's a nonsensical feeling. I am not stupid. I can't be. My course grades negate the concept. I'm actually very bright. I'm just not highly functional in a number of other very important ways.

No. I'm not stupid. But ...

You know how, when you go in for a job interview and the interviewer asks you to outline your weaknesses ... and everyone always tries to pick something that's actually a good trait but make it sound kind of negative? Remember saying: "I can be too much of a perfectionist"? Oh, admit it; we've all said it. The thing is, though, that for me, this is actually true. And incidentally, it's not a good trait at all. Actually, it kind of sucks.

I waste time. Everything must be just so. For if it is not absolutely perfect, then it is wrong. Other things are pushed aside as I work to make it perfect, totally functional, and beautiful to boot. Because I care, even if no one else does. And everything else that is actually of utmost importance suffers for it. I try to move on, but I am unfocused, knowing that I just blew something over, leaving it complete but not 100% perfect in every single minute and irrelevant way. And to get past it and carry on, I must first go back and finish the fool thing to my satisfaction.

It's pathetic.

I think it's some kind of weird undiagnosed OCD problem. It must be. I redo, and redo, and redo, trying to make everything in my world fit with absolutes, when the reality is that some things just don't matter that much. Other things are of greater importance. But I can't look at any of those things just now, because this spreadsheet is not evenly spaced and the fonts go all weird partway down, and the symbols switch from red to blue and back again with no rhyme or reason whatsoever, and it's making me crazy. Because it's not perfect.

It's not my fault. If the chairs are not completely straight, evenly spaced, and precisely the right distance from the table, something bad will happen. I just know it. Apparently.

Today, I realized that if I were in the army, I'd be the guy who routinely lags 10 minutes behind the batalion (and ultimately gets ambushed and offed by the enemy) because my bootloops were not perfectly symmetrical and I simply had to fix it before I could march.

Yup. That's me. I am just that insane. And over time, the problem appears to have gotten worse. Much to my chagrin, I appear powerless to just carry on and accept that things don't always have to be perfect. Sometimes, it just has to be good enough. And you move on, accepting that it's as good as it needs to be and no one else cares.

But I care! And dammit, that's good enough. Isn't it? Well, it should be. And if other people don't care about it as much, then they're just wrong. Apparently.

This is a flaw. It's a big one, actually. You don't want it.

Though at times when there are serious things going on around you, it can be helpful. It provides a distraction from the serious, as you work on fixing the inconsequential. This can help you keep your sanity in what might otherwise be a terribly stressful situation. Because you can focus on tiny details and completely ignore the fact that your hair is on fire, if you so choose. The problem with this, of course, is that you really have no choice in the matter. You must deal with your flaming hair. And yet, while your hair burns brightly, you find yourself completely disabled because you have observed a small scratch on the side of your fire extinguisher and you really can't bring yourself to deploy it until it is properly resurfaced.

This annoying trait means that everything takes me too long. And I don't like it. But I appear unable to change this in myself, and it's really, really irritating. Plus it creates stress. The stress of having to do it perfectly. It's a hard thing to handle. And then, you start irrationally feeling stupid, because you ran out of time or missed something or ... and it's at that moment that you feel like you're teetering on the edge of a precipice, still balancing on the appropriate side of the idiot line but just about to topple over. And you just don't know how you'll manage to carry on, because the slightest movement will push you right over the edge.

I really don't have time to be like this. Busy. Yes, with things that actually matter. I must find a way to get over it; some way to not care so much about trivialities. But I don't know how.

You know?

No. Of course you don't. Because you are not deranged.

Are you?