Today, J's teeth are bugging him. My tonsils are swollen and infected again, and I'm exhausted. J has stomach cramps. H is working. I cancelled a visit with J's Memaw; I was not doing well, and I couldn't handle seeing people today. I have things to do, but can't muster the strength.
H received a phone call from me at work this morning. J was screaming in the background. He'd been screaming for awhile. By the time I phoned H, I was crying also. J was clearly in pain, and I couldn't help him. He'd had Tylenol and Anbesol, but he was still hurting. I didn't know what to do for him. It was most distressing. By the end of the conversation, I was sobbing and incoherent. Poor H was trying to understand me and be supportive, and I could barely hear him over the screaming J, as I tried to express my frustration.
What I said: "J is crying, and he won't stop, and he's in pain, and I can't help him."
What H heard: "Ja ca pa aaaaaa [squeak, squeak, squeak]."
J is napping. Finally. I feel a bit better, because he isn't in pain just now. But it occurs to me that I have not yet eaten today. This is alarmingly normal. I'd best eat now. And then... Homework? Housework? Sleep? I think the last option will win today. It is as it should be.