Thursday, October 27, 2005


J decided that I should not go to sleep when I wanted to last night. I was up really late with him. Around 1:00 a.m. or so, I finally got to settle in, only to be woken up at 5:00 a.m. by a screaming child. He was wet. I asked H to please change him. An exhausted H was grumpy about that, but he did it. Then he brought J to me for feeding, and H fell back to sleep.

It was 6:00 a.m. when J was through with being fed and burped. I was putting J back in his crib when H's "ealy warning alarm" started going off. (Loud music: "Warning, warning; you will have to actually get out of bed in roughly half an hour".) H wondered why I wasn't putting the alarm to snooze, and he was sort of testy about it until he realized I was on the other side of the room putting J back in his crib.

J would not go back to sleep, however. All attempts to put him in his crib this morning were futile. He would scream and cry if I tried it, so I had to get up with him. So in short, my day started at 5:00 a.m. and I'm functioning on 4 hours of sleep. I don't think I've ever been this crabby.

Skipping ahead in my morning, past the numerous episodes of petty and inconsequential bickering with H - and we never used to fight, but now it just happens ("Why are you so grumpy today?" he asked; gee, I can't imagine), we arrive at J's cereal. Today, J decided not to eat. He had a couple of quick mouthfuls, but generally was only interested in throwing things on the floor and crying.

J is cleaned up. The kitchen floor is cleaned up. His highchair is cleaned up. I still have to wash his dishes. And now, he is once more obsessed with ripping his soother clip off and throwing the soother across the room. I have actually taken it away (I nearly threw it across the room myself just a moment ago); this is not a fun game for me, and I am in no mood.

And my chest still hurts. I think I'd best see my doc today about it. I'll phone and see if I can get in.

My day needs to improve. I have work to do, but can't function well feeling this tired and irritable. (Go to sleep, J! Think "turnip". Please?)

It's not even 9:00 a.m. yet.

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