Beatrix Potter had really bad PMS

She must've. I see no other explanation.

I wanted to get J "The Peter Rabbit Library". I absolutely loved these books when I was a child. And my mom, remembering this, had thoughtfully bought the first 12 books back when I was in highschool and saved them for someday when I had children. She gave them to me when I was pregnant with J. But she didn't know that there are a total of 23 books. And I have spent some time trying to find volume 2 of the set that she bought back in the '80s. I've been close a couple of times, but things happened and through no fault of my own, I never got the books.

I finally found the correct set. From the correct publisher. From the correct year. In the correct little box. In excellent condition. In California. But it was over on the abebooks site, and the seller was happy to ship it here. I was so excited!

The books arrived today. J now has the complete set. Most of the books are quite delightful, but they do have their moments. And some of the books leave one wondering why Ms. Potter was such a cranky-pants.

Below is an excerpt. Each paragraph is a separate page in the book.

The Story of a Fierce Bad Rabbit

This is a fierce bad Rabbit; look at his savage whiskers, and his claws and his turned-up tail.

This is a nice gentle Rabbit. His mother has given him a carrot.

The bad Rabbit would like some carrot.

He doesn't say "Please." He takes it!

And he scratches the good Rabbit very badly.

The good Rabbit creeps away, and hides in a hole. It feels sad.

This is a man with a gun.

O ..... kay. That seems ... rather out of place, doesn't it? What are we learning here? That if we are impolite, bully nice peers, and take things that don't belong to us, someone will shoot us?

I can just see the author. She has a deadline to meet. She has a case of writer's block. She is grumpy. She goes to a nice park to get inspiration. She sees two children playing. One child takes the other child's ball without asking. The other child starts crying. And it occurs to the very angry author: "If I had a gun, I'd shoot you myself, you horrible little imp!"

Thus, a children's book is borne!

The man does not actually kill either Rabbit. He is apparently blind. He mistakes the bad Rabbit for a funny looking bird. And he shoots at him, but ... well ... being blind and everything, he misses. But he scares the bad Rabbit very badly, and his tail and whiskers fall off. The good Rabbit watches the bad Rabbit run off. And that is the end of the story.

So it is something of an unusual story. Probably not a suitable bedtime tale for J. But I feel certain that H and I will laugh heartily at it for quite some time!!

Karma in action

I went to work on Monday. Business as usual. I'd worked all weekend too, and was just starting day 8 of my likely 15-day stretch at the office. As I walked through the parking lot, I was approached by a young man who was obviously in a bit of a tough spot. He stood about 10-feet away from me, not wanting to frighten me but desperate for help. And he explained to me that he'd run out of money in our city and was $18 short for a bus ticket to go back home. He'd been walking around all night, had gone to the police station, and had just been trying to stay safe. And now, he was walking through the parking lot offering to wash cars in order to get the money. I said "Don't wash my car; let me see what I have".

Sadly, I didn't have a $20. But I had a $5 in my purse, that I gave to him. He seemed like a nice fellow, and anyone can get down on his or her luck. I hope he managed to drum up the rest of the money he needed to go home.

Then I headed into the office. Where I found that my lost $45 earring had been placed neatly on my desk sometime Sunday night/Monday morning.

Karma rocks! Now, if someone would just return my lost flashdrive ...

Overheard in Caucus

Peter MacKay: And I think we should enact a statute prohibiting women from owning shoes.

Stephen Harper: No. They need shoes.

MacKay: Why? Women should be barefoot, pregnant, and in the kitchen. Shoe ownership only encourages dissent.

Harper: They need shoes. What if they walk through a puddle of water or something? If they have no shoes, their feet will get wet.

MacKay: But why should they walk through a puddle of water in the kitchen?

Harper: They can't stay in the kitchen all the time. Sometimes, they have to go grocery shopping.

Note: Statements were not published in Hansard and are therefore unofficial. So I guess it never really happened.

I had no idea protective gear would be required

Okay. There is a disclaimer on my Elton John tickets, which reads as follows:

WARNING: PUCKS, HOCKEY STICKS, BALLS, BATS, RACQUETS, AND OTHER OBJECTS FLYING INTO SPECTATOR AREAS CAN CAUSE SERIOUS INJURY. BE ALERT AT ALL TIMES WHEN IN SPECTATOR AREAS. IF INJURED, NOTIFY USHER FOR DIRECTIONS TO MEDICAL STATION.

Last I heard, Elton John just leaves concerts when he's irritated. He doesn't ordinarily throw badminton racquets, does he?

On the God complex

Some folks seem to have a God complex.

I already have a God. And my belief system just doesn't indicate that you could possibly be God. There are certain requirements which must be met. My God has met those requirements. You have not. I'm good with that.

But maybe you really are God. I sort of don't think so. But really, who am I to argue?

Tell you what; if I nail you to a cross and hang you until you're dead, and you rise again in three days, I'll agree that you are God, and you will have my undying respect and adulation. Let's give that a try, shall we?

No?

Well, then SHUT UP!