Sunday, October 23, 2005

Free Falling

J is up late. Talking. And throwing his soother about. If we put him in his crib, he gets progressively louder. We are exhausted and are currently taking turns walking the floor with him.

Odd things occur to you when you are passing-out-tired and the baby won't let you sleep.

Dear Mr. Petty:

Much as I generally enjoy your music, I must take issue with "Free Falling". While it is an excellent song in many respects, I cite the opening lines:

"She's a good girl, loves her mama
Loves Jesus, and America too
She's a good girl, crazy 'bout Elvis
Loves horses, and her boyfriend too"

Has it occurred to you that you have rhymed "too" with "too"? This is one of the worst rhyme schemes I have ever heard, and it has annoyed me for years. There is no shortage of words that rhyme with "too". Let's explore a few possible ways of completing this lyric without repeating the word "too" at the end, shall we?

Here is my "Top 40". Let's take it from "Loves horses":

  1. 'cause they make good glue
  2. they're so fun to shoe
  3. and cows that say "Moo"
  4. and homemade beef stew
  5. them horses can chew
  6. she once thought they flew
  7. and an actress named "Drew"
  8. and her boyfriend, Stu
  9. and cats; they say "Mew"
  10. she can play the kazoo
  11. and her boyfriend's canoe
  12. and the Great Gazoo
  13. and a bear named "Baloo"
  14. coo-coo-ca-choo
  15. she's contracted the flu
  16. and Little Boy Blue
  17. and Cindy-Lou Who
  18. and her floral mumu
  19. she can build an igloo
  20. for a price, she'll love you
  21. could you please buy a clue
  22. when she gets sick, she'll spew
  23. and a boy named "Sue"
  24. and playing "Taboo"
  25. and Seaworld's "Shamu"
  26. from Katmandu
  27. she's staging a coup
  28. she lives in a slough
  29. and good witches brew
  30. and the whole cast and crew
  31. bright with morning dew
  32. and of course, the Haiku
  33. Nanu Nanu
  34. and "The Taming of the Shrew"
  35. she invented "Yoo-hoo"
  36. and Dogpatch's "Shmoo"
  37. all shiny and new
  38. skinamarinky doo
  39. was that a kangaroo?
  40. but not Raj Pannu
I am reasonably certain that more suggestions will be forthcoming, but you see my point.

In short: Buy a rhyming dictionary, you twit!!




Dottie P. (not poo) said...

41. "but not shovelling poo"

theatre_mommy said...

42. And the cast of Scooby-doo
43. We all know it's true
44. in every hue
45. and going to the zoo
46. and winnie the pooh
47. so we bid her adieu
48. at her big debut
49. and bubbly shampoo
50. and doing kung-fu

shiny_gal said...

51. " but prefers a Skidoo "
52. " and says 'baa' to ewe "
53. " and painting things blue "
54. " and Mr. Maggoo "
55. " and riding them, too. "
56. " Boop boopy doo. "
57. " who run while they poo."
58. " but hasn't a clue! "

Nezbitt said...

59. There was a rock in my shoe
60. Oo bop a doo
61. And her nose she blew

Trish said...

62. and travels to Timbuktu
63. and talks of Fu Manchu
64. but there are just too few
65. and the mighty Gnu

So far, it's an even 65. (Although shiny_gal did inadvertently rhyme "too" with "too" again. But she's so fabulous, I'll forgive her slip. Besides, her variation just sounds better!)

People, feel free to keep adding more. I'm enjoying these immensely!

theatre_mommy said...

66. and saying thank-you
67. in a musical review
68. so she gets a tatoo
69. she's got a narrow world view
70. and Blink 182
71. she holidays in Peru
72. and chocolate fondue
73. she's Christian not Jew
74. she feels deja vu
75. and Stanley Woo

shiny_gal said...

76. "hey, what is that goo?"
77. "moose and cariboo"
78. "thinks the best letter's U"
79. "her daddy is Sioux"
80. "but hates frou-frou"

theatre_mommy said...

Edit to my #75... and MR Stanley Woo... it flows better...