Saturday, October 08, 2005

Driver Training

To all the drivers on our city streets who feel that driver training is somehow beneath them:

When you come upon an intersection and the lights are out, and there is now a red flashing light in all directions, that means that you have reached a 4-way stop. It does not mean that you have the right of way at all times, because you are so much more special than all the other drivers on the road. Stop your car and wait your turn, you selfish little creep.

When there are two cars ahead of you waiting at a red light at which you wish to turn left, you are expected to wait your turn. You are not, under any circumstances, supposed to veer into the oncoming lane of traffic so that you can get ahead of the other cars and make your left turn more quickly. The left lane does not become the right lane just because you happen to be in a hurry this evening, and a head-on collision could kill you and take several innocent parties out also. Please purchase a brain at your corner store.

Traffic going straight has the right of way over traffic turning left from a stop sign. Do not turn left in front of oncoming traffic and cut them off. I don't care that you are driving a bus that could squash my little Chevy in an instant. Just because you can turn my Chevy into a much more compact vehicle doesn't mean you should do so. Now calm down!

Red means stop. Green means go. Do not come to a complete stop at the red light, and then proceed to inch ever so slowly through the intersection, thinking that the light may turn green at any moment. Wait until the colour actually changes, please (Mr. Aforementioned-Bus-Driver).

We went to my parents' place for Thanksgiving tonight. J slept for most of it, except for those brief moments when he blew raspberries at all who would listen. He is still exhausted from his shots yesterday. R&C's little girl, S, (my 2-year old niece) provided much amusement, though.

R&C: S, do you want to sing the alphabet song?

S: ...

R&C: S, go show Grandma how you can sing the alphabet song!

S: [walking over to Grandma and climbing in her lap] ...

Grandma: S, do you want to sing the alphabet song with me?

S: [loud and emphatic] NO!

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