Sunday, March 12, 2006

Tonight, I am sad

There is a place I go. Maybe I shouldn't go there. But I am close to a number of people in that place. Sometimes, they need support and encouragement. They've been there for me when I have needed them. I want to return the favour and be there for them. But it makes me sad. Being there. Seeing it. Thinking of it. All of it. It makes me sad. I cry. And then I have to hit the "X" button on my computer before I see any more.

I went and had a nice evening with L & M tonight. They're both so nice, and so much fun. J played with L&P's girls, and a very pregnant M got to hear all our labour and delivery stories. There was also much talk of accounting, and many jokes made about timeshare presentations and cheap digital cameras. The boys went and did a guy thing, and we gals played with the kids and just hung out. I had fun. And briefly, I pushed it all into the back of my mind. What I'd read. How I felt. But the sadness remains. I can't shake it.

I wish I could be the rock; the support my friends need me to be. I wish I knew what to say at these times. More to the point, I wish I could just make it stop, so that these times never even happened.

I wish.


Mary said...

Yes, last night was fun. I always enjoy talking to you too. Thanks for always listening when I need a friendly ear and guidance with my in-decisiveness. Now, as long as do not come home from work, crying in frustration, I would have it made. I'm seriously contemplating staying home at this point.

Liz said...

I'm sad that you're sad. I know that there are several places that you could be talking about. If you want to chat, give me a call.