Saturday, March 11, 2006

Babies and timeshares

Tony Robbins and Mary Ann tried to sell me a timeshare last night!

Last night, plied by the free gifts, H and I went to a sales presentation. The point was stressed that it wasn't actually a timeshare; it was "vacation insurance". Little did they know that they had contacted the Cheapskate family!

After enjoying some free donuts and coffee and having a brief discussion with a very pleasant sales agent (more about him later), we headed in to a different room to watch the presentation.

That's when Tony Robbins burst through the door. Well, if it wasn't him, it was his identical twin. The personality was the same, too. He was highly entertaining. H and I felt privileged; usually, you have to spend a lot of money to hear Tony Robbins speak. A door prize was given away; it was a DVD player, and we didn't win it.

Then the video presentation began, and Mary Ann from Gilligan's Island told us all about how great these vacation packages are, and encouraged us to buy in. (Yes folks, it actually was Dawn Wells. I couldn't believe it either.)

More Tony Robbins; more videos; a few drawings on a big white board, and a glance through a catalogue. Then we were ushered back into a different room for the arm twist. We were quite adept at evading the sales pitch, and I am pleased to say that we are not members in a vacation club.

So we left unscathed. And we got a free weekend at a 5-star 2-storey 2-bedroom chalet spa type of resort in the mountains (3 days, 2 nights), and a very low-key digital camera (no, it was not on a keychain) out of the deal. The catch? We have to attend another 90 minute presentation while we are at the resort. I'm willing to deal with it if it means a free mountain weekend. The place looks quite lovely! And 90 minutes out of my weekend won't kill me ... I guess.

Our salesperson was a really nice guy, actually. He also works as a waiter in a couple of different locations, on a part time basis. He entertained us with tales of stupid customers. (Apparently, there are people in this world who think that waiters get some sort of commission-type kick-back if they sell a lot of the dish-of-the-day or something.) And he was quite happy to tell us that he was not on commission, so that made us happy; we weren't causing him to get less cash for the evening. He realized quite quickly that we were not going to have a need for the service, but he tried valiantly, and you've got to give him points for that. We liked him. He was lots of fun!

On to more pressing stuff.

J, why won't you eat? There is more to life than infant cereal and apple sauce. And I realize that you also enjoy Cheerios, certain other pureed fruits (peaches, pears and prunes), crackers, and Minigos. And I also note that you will occasionally eat pancakes, waffles, or a grilled cheese sandwich, if you are so inclined. But for the love of all that is holy, you also need vegetables and meats. Why do you throw up whenever we try to give these things to you? And furthermore, I don't think you drink enough. You've almost weaned yourself; you're only being breastfed twice a day now, and you won't take a bottle. Formula is unacceptable unless it is mixed with your cereal. And you drink little bits out of your sippy cup of either milk or juice, but you just aren't getting a lot.

We give you whatever you will eat without throwing up, because really holding down the food is the most important thing here; you need to gain weight. But every so often, we try to slip in a veggie or a bit of meat. We are always disappointed when you vomit it back up. It's very discouraging. And Mommy is becoming quite distressed. She fears that you will become malnourished if she can't get you to eat better. Please eat your veggies and your meats, little man.

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