Thursday, April 27, 2006

More on my biggest pet peeve

Stupid? Who's stupid?


If you send me an email similar to one that I've received before, from an address that looks like a subset of another address which I actually subscribe to and have for over a year, and you tell me that a free coupon for some little baby thingy will be found at the corresponding site, I may go to the site. I may even go to the site if my point and click feature doesn't work and I need to copy the entire address into my browser.

But if your download instructions include instructions that I have never seen before, and if you tell me that I have to install the "free coupon printer" in order to print my coupon, a thing I've never had to do before, I am going to be suspicious. And I am going to get really suspicious when your instructions actually say that my antivirus and spyware protection may need to be turned off in order to facilitate the download.

Why? Oh! Because I'll be downloading a virus? Wow! Imagine that! Okay then. Just you wait there while I disable all of my protection devices so that I can get 20 cents off a bottle of Johnson's Baby Wash. What a fabulous idea!

No. I am not an idiot. Of course I won't do something like that. Get a life!


Yeah. That's what I want my headstone to read. "Killed while simultaneously driving, eating spaghetti, and steering with her knees". Great.

And exactly what sort of person thinks it is safe to operate a vehicle while using a laptop? "How does one use a laptop while driving", you rightly ask? Why, it's very simple. One duct tapes it to the steering wheel!

This is not unique. I actually see people like this on the street every day. Multi-taskers. Driving while reading. Driving while using both hands to eat a rice-bowl. Driving while smoking a giant doobie and talking on her cell phone at the same time in the Walmart parking lot with the windows rolled down.

If you are so desperate to meet your maker, take pills or something; just please don't take all of us with you.


I know you're here. I can see you!


The government seriously ticks me off. Governments are comprised of vast amounts of "stupid".

I don't think any further explanation is necessary; I'm sure we've all been there.


And that, as much as anything, is why I am now camped out on the roof of Millwoods Town Centre with my high-powered sniper rifle.

Don't mind me. I'll be just fine.

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