I was surfing the net a bit today. I found some funny sites. But I also found one that was absolutely heart wrenching. You may not want to visit it, especially you who have small children. But in case you want to see what's up, the site is here.
I began to read. And then I began to weep.
I have been richly blessed. I need to always remember what a precious gift I have been given in J. I know that my schooling and work are both important to our family unit. But I so want to spend more time with H and J. After all, they are what really matters to me. I need to make more time for them. I pray that they will always be here with me.
The following has been taken from a post on the above site. It is a reminder to me to hold each day precious and to not take anything for granted. It may be a bit hard to read. But yellow was his favorite colour, and that is important.
Just for Today
Just for this morning, I am going to smile when I see your face and laugh when I feel like crying. Just for this morning, I will let you choose what you want to wear, and smile and say how perfect it is. Just for this morning, I am going to step over the laundry, and pick you up and take you to the park to play. Just for this morning, I will leave the dishes in the sink, and let you teach me how to put that puzzle of yours together.
Just for this afternoon, I will unplug the telephone and keep the computer off, and sit with you in the backyard and blow bubbles. Just for this afternoon, I will not yell once, not even a tiny grumble when you scream and whine for the ice cream truck, and I will buy you one if he comes by. Just for this afternoon, I won't worry about what you are going to be when you grow up, or second-guess every decision I have made where you are concerned. Just for this afternoon, I will let you help me bake cookies, and I won't stand over you trying to fix them. Just for this afternoon, I will take us to McDonald's and buy us both a Happy Meal so you can have both toys.
Just for this evening, I will hold you in my arms and tell you a story about how you were born and how much I love you. Just for this evening, I will let you splash in the tub and not get angry. Just for this evening, I will let you stay up late while we sit on the porch and count all the stars. Just for this evening, I will snuggle beside you for hours, and miss my favorite TV shows. Just for this evening, when I run my finger through your hair as you pray, I will simply be grateful that God has given me the greatest gift ever given. I will think about the mothers and fathers who are searching for their missing children, the mothers and fathers who are visiting their children's graves instead of their bedrooms, and mothers and fathers who are in hospital rooms watching their children suffer senselessly, and screaming inside that they can't handle it anymore.
And when I kiss you good night, I will hold you a little tighter, a little longer. It is then that I will thank God for you, and ask him for nothing, except one more day...
I am so sorry for your loss.