I am in a moment of self-reflection. Thinking about who I am as a person and who I aspire to be. I have these moments from time to time, and here I sit tonight.
Every so often in our lives, a person comes along who is worthy of emulation. Not too often, but every great once in awhile. I know of just such a person. So I think I can safely say that I wanna be Trevor Anderson. Yes, yes.
I recall years ago sitting down and speaking with Trevor. And I remember saying to him that I thought he was consistently one of the nicest, sweetest people I knew. If someone ever came to me and said "I don't like Trevor", I would be forced to ask "What is the matter with you?" And if someone ever said "I don't think Trevor likes me", I would have to ask "What did you do to Trevor?" He is a passionate and outspoken person, but just so amazingly likeable into the bargain. I have never heard him say a harsh word about anyone. And he is so sincere about it, too.
I would like to be this person.
But I must concede that I am not this person. I am not consistently nice and sweet. In fact, I can be downright nasty and vindictive when the mood overtakes me. And while I feel I am likeable, I can be something of an acquired taste for many. And further, if someone said that they didn't think I liked them, I could see the response coming "You're in good company". While I think I like most people, I am very impassioned in my personality, in my likes and dislikes, and sometimes that comes into play when it comes to personalities as well as inanimate objects.
I am for the moment slightly dissatisfied in the knowledge that I am not who I would like to be. I will never be that person, because I have too many character flaws. While we can work on our personalities, we can never really rid ourselves of our inherent flaws.
I am who I am. I cannot be Trevor Anderson. He is a one of a kind. That is probably good. If we were all inherently good and sweet people, we would be unappreciative of those characteristics. It is good to appreciate traits in others that we tend to lack in ourselves.
Opinionated and impassioned I am, and I must stand behind it.