Feeling frustrated

Edit: the link in this post used to contain a rant. I was having a moment, and I needed a good tear. I have since decided that I need to focus on all that is positive in my life, and there is plenty of it. I no longer wish to preserve this particular rant, because I no longer need it.

That is freeing, somehow!

Tonight, I am feeling frustrated. Things are affecting me more than they probably should.

J has been sick with a bad ear infection, and he has been in emergency twice this week with high fevers and inconsolable crying. He had a doctor's appointment today for a follow-up. His ears are looking better, but his weight is down. He is no longer in a weight category for his age, and that is alarming. We have to find a way to get him to gain weight over the next 3 weeks, or else he will have to go into the hospital and be put on a feeding tube. We have been instructed to supplement him with formula. But that's a problem, because he won't take formula. Not by any means. (H is now resorting to dipping J's soother in the formula and putting the soother in J's mouth!)

The doctor decided to run blood and urine tests on J to see if there is any reason for his low weight other than just requiring extra calories. We went to get those tests run tonight. J screamed and cried, and it was gut-wrenching for us. He also twisted, and it took 3 people to hold him down. We have been told he will probably have bruises on his arms for a bit. It hurts me to see my baby in pain. But whatever gets him through this will be okay by me. I just want him to be okay and gain an acceptable amount of weight.

J has also decided that he wants to stay awake all night long. He was up past 2:00 a.m. today, wanting us to play with him. Demanding that we play with him, actually. I am functioning on very little sleep, and it is making me a bit testy.

And, with J being sick, I have found very little time to study. I am behind in my course, and I must find some time to get caught up. I hope to manage it this weekend, but we have some other obligations, most notably a funeral we need to attend. We have friends who are willing to watch J for us, so we can both go.

So with all of this going on, I think my brain needs a bit of a break. And I don't think it is particularly surprising that I might choose to focus on something petty and stupid. So I am choosing to do so. And it annoys me, but I am unable to break my focus. Perhaps if I make this entry, I will be able to free my mind and carry on with the more pressing concerns. (Or perhaps I just need the distraction. We'll see.)

Edit: I freed my mind. The entry has been altered accordingly. :)

I have a friend. She is nice. I like her. A lot. She's a good person. She's sweet, smart, generous to a fault, and has been a great support to me. She's a loving wife and mother and has life experience that she willingly shares with others. She's fun. She's talented. She's pretty amazing. And yes, she's a highly emotional presence who overreacts on occasion and who is opinionated like you wouldn't believe, but I find these things to be part of her charm. They are traits that help to form the wonderful and amazing person that she is. She's an irreplaceable, one of a kind friend who I respect and admire. She has earned that respect and admiration through her behaviours. I am proud to call her my friend.

She is one of a select group of really amazing people who I am very happy to have in my life. There are others. When I stop to think about it, I am really very blessed to have so many of these great people in my life.

I am pleased by the fact that I have people like this in my life. I am happy that I have good and supportive friends, who care about me and listen to me.

I am thankful for you, my friends! You're the best!!