Logical song

I'm behind in my course. About a week behind. I blame ... life.

When I was young, it seemed that life was so wonderful,
A miracle, oh it was beautiful, magical.
Just now, "life" includes a parent with cancer, a teething baby, a stubborn preschooler, a broken knee, and a deceased pet.

And all the birds in the trees, well they'd be singing so happily,
Joyfully, playfully watching me.
I need to catch up. But I'm tired. Still on painkillers, dealing with the family crabbiness, and I really just want to sleep. Or blog. Or really just do anything besides schoolwork.

But then they sent me away to teach me how to be sensible,
Logical, responsible, practical.
I'm procrastinating my studies, even more than usual. Already behind because of "life", I really don't have time for procrastination. But I'm doing it just the same. I can't help myself. I think it's because I am at the section with the required Dread Ethics Readings.

And they showed me a world where I could be so dependable,
Clinical, intellectual, cynical.
Have you ever done ethics readings? If not, you do not yet share my pain. But if you have done ethics readings, I am sorry.

There are times when all the world's asleep,
The questions run too deep
For such a simple man.
For those of you who have not had to do ethics readings, this is what you should know. Ethics readings consist of long-winded passages with overly complex wording. The concepts are simple and very basic to human understanding. Ethics readings cover only the blatantly obvious. Things like "stealing is bad", "bribery is bad", "forgery is bad" ... you see the pattern. But each of these concepts is explained in great detail, in not less than five pages, with no fewer than sixteen words that require dictionary lookup. I don't know why this is. But the end result is that ethics readings are slightly less pleasant than cleaning a public restroom frequented by prostitutes and IV drug users in the downtown core.

Won't you please, please tell me what we've learned
I know it sounds absurd
But please tell me who I am.
I would like to skip all of the Dread Ethics Readings and just do the rest of the course. But technically, the Readings are examinable. And also, there is an ethics question on my assignment. It's about bribery of government officials in a fictitious country. It is worth 17 marks. I wonder if I can possibly answer it without having done the Dread Ethics Readings. Let me see ... "Bribery is bad. In any country. Don't do it". See? Done!

Now watch what you say or they'll be calling you a radical,
Liberal, fanatical, criminal.
Sigh! I'll probably just do the damned Readings anyway. I don't want to. But I'll do them. Because my course materials say that they are required.

Won't you sign up your name, we'd like to feel you're acceptable,
Respectable, presentable, a vegetable.
I'm a good student. I do what I am told. It's just who I am.

At night, when all the world's asleep,
The questions run so deep
For such a simple man.
Won't you please, please tell me what we've learned
I know it sounds absurd
But please tell me who I am.
I am such a schmuck.