This is a sad post. Just saying.
Tonight, H and I went out without J. We went to see "Steel Magnolias". I'd never seen either the play or the movie, and I didn't know the plot. H had seen the movie, but he didn't enjoy it all that much. But my sister-in-law was in the play, so we went. And it was very well done. (As an aside, it's always nice to have an evening out!)
I am glad that I went. And I am glad that I didn't know the plot ahead of time. If I had known, I probably would have elected not to go. And that's not right; it's family, after all. And it's a really good show, besides.
Now don't get me wrong here. There is absolutely nothing wrong with the plot. There is just a problem with me watching that particular plot. It's a very sad show that made me think about things on which I prefer not to focus.
The problem with me and Steel Magnolias, you see, is that it's a little too real and a little too close. In fact, it's far too real. Far too close. I cried. I cried too much, really. And then I tried to think about mundane, everyday occurrences to try to block it. But that doesn't really work. I can't block this. Not really.
It was her story. It was the same in virtually all material respects. It contains phrases of explanation. Phrases that I have heard myself say a hundred times over. She was my friend. I miss her. I still miss her. I will always miss her.
She left on October 20, 1993. She was survived by her new husband, her two beautiful children, her parents, her siblings, and her friends. Really, she was survived by almost everyone she ever knew. Because she was only 22 years old. And maybe it should have been expected because she'd been sick for so long ... because she'd known of her condition for nearly her entire life. But it wasn't expected. Not by me. Not by her. Not by any of us.
She was a beautiful, caring, giving person. A mother. A new wife. A young woman, full of promise and with a lot more living to do.
And then, she was gone.
I miss you, 'Chelle. You, and the kids. I don't even know where they are any longer. I have no way to find out. But I think of them often. Anytime I think of you, they are right there with you. In my thoughts. In my prayers. I hope that they have heard all about what a wonderful and amazing woman you were. I hope they have at least that much.
I miss you, 'Chelle.