Today, I got to work on an actual file. I actually didn't have to fly solo; the senior tech ran the file and gave me a few tasks. But I'm nervous that I will fall flat on my face, because I had no idea how to do a number of the tasks I was assigned, and I kept having to get extra direction, sometimes more than once. The senior tech is really, unbelievably good at this, and I feel so dim next to her, not having any idea how things work. Okay, granted, she's been in this line of work for 37 years, and I just started 3 days ago. But still!
The highly specialized software confuses me. The templates don't make sense to me yet, and like an idiot, I can't figure out how to fill in the blanks. I'm confused, and honestly quite scared that I won't be able to learn it all.
I want to learn it. I want this job to work out. They seem so nice there. It's a choice job, and I want to keep it. I'm frustrated. I'm usually quicker on the uptake than I was today. Maybe tomorrow I'll do better.
Man alive, I miss my brain! I wonder where it has run off to. If you find it, would you please return it to me? Thanks!