She pooped on the carpet

I don't know what to do. A cat that pees and poops on the carpet can't live in a house with a baby. But we've kept her with us through kidney failure, and she's doing so well on a health-related basis. And the vet says there's nothing medically wrong with her that's causing this, so we can't treat her and try to fix it.

Her box is clean. She should be using it.

I don't know why she's refusing to use her litter box. But we're starting to run out of options now, and it makes me sad. I don't want to do what I suspect we may have to do. But I don't know what else to do.

I love her.

Ten things that suck

I have the stomach flu, and can't be bothered to explain any of these. But here are ten things that totally suck today.

1. The stomach flu.
   
2. Cats that pee on the carpet.
   
3. Exam prep (and the lack thereof).
   
4. Migraine headaches.
   
5. Computerized telephone solicitors.
   
6. The smell of new bike tires in my kitchen.
   
7. Fluctuating temperatures.
   
8. Daytime TV.
   
9. Dust.
   
10. Dirty dishes.

I am feeling more positive than I thought. I had to struggle to think of ten things. Really, more things are good than sucky. That's a nice thought.

And on that note, I'm going back to bed. Blargh!

Various J stuff

When crawling, J will periodically stop for a rest. He'll lay his head down on the floor. We are expected to put our head down next to his. Then he laughs.

Not that J crawls a great deal these days. He can take about 8 steps at a time now. He's enjoying his newfound skill. Soon, there will be no stopping him. But in our living room, as soon as he heads for the stairs, he invariably trips over the front paw of his big stuffed lion and down he goes. Then he's easier to catch, as he crawls toward the stairs.

We have a baby gate now. I think we'll need to pick up a second one, though, to keep J out of the kitchen area. He does dearly love to explore.

J now has 8 teeth. I went to brush them this morning, and was dismayed to discover that the cats had stolen J's toothbrush some time during the night. Apparently, it makes a lovely cat toy. We will pick up a new toothbrush for J today, and will make sure it is locked up tight.

J has a new toy. It's a MegaBlocks Robot that we picked up for $3.50 from Once Upon a Child. It's cool! It lights up. And when you push down on it, it winds up and then rolls across the floor really fast. He loves it. According to J, the best feature is that the arms come off and the hand parts can easily be put into his mouth for easy arm carrying.

J has developed a sign for "milk". He smacks his lips together repeatedly, and that means he wants his milk now. It's really cute!

In other news, my garden is growing nicely. I only lost a couple of plants through the winter. They will be easily replaced, so not a big deal. Sadly, my big clump of delphiniums has been overtaken by worms for the second year in a row. Last year, I got to it early and managed to kill them. But this year, they seem to have won. We'll rip the plant out and replace it with a non-infested plant. If we get a chance to go the greenhouse today, we will. I don't know though. H is still not feeling very well, and I've got studying to do. Five more sections in Module 10, plus 2 computer illustrations to work through, and then I can start studying for the dreaded exam on June 8. Eek! That's coming up way too quick.

On a positive note, J is feeling a bit better now, though he's still not quite himself just yet. But he's eating again. Not much, but every little bit helps. It's all good. Hopefully, he'll be all back to normal very soon. And hopefully, I can continue to fight off this nasty bug that's overtaken my family.

That's about it for us. I hope everyone has a lovely day!

Like Sex Ed, but not

My textbook reads:

"The mating process involves an exchange of information between population members. When population members mate, they cross gene values (input variables) over to their partner. This rearranges the information in the gene values of the population members, creating new and diverse "offsprings" that combine potentially beneficial features of their parents."

(And that's where babies come from!)

Sadly Sickly

Both my men are sick. Poor men!

Stomach flu. Stay away.

Green Day's Journey Into Night

So, I got this from the Nice Guy. And H and I have been playing this game for awhile now. It's fun. Addictive. But fun.

The idea is to take a book (or play) and a band, and meld them together in some manner.

Like so:

Slaughterhouse Jackson 5
Bowling for Chicken Soup for the Soul
Tom Sawyer & The Heartbreakers
Little Red Riderhood
The Wonderful Wizard of Ozzy
Alice in Wonderchains
Of Mice and Men-At-Work
The Legend of Sleepy Hollow & Oates
Anna & The Kinks of Siam
The Beatles of Madison County
The Glass Tiger Menagerie
Into Thin Lizzie Air
Interview with a Van Halen
The Chronicles of Nirvana
Bon Jovi of the Vanities
Green Day's Journey Into Night

(H stresses that "Cake" is also a band name, and it ought to be used to excess in this particular game.)

And it works for children too:

But Not the Tragically Hippopotamus
Pat the Bunny Benatar
Bowling for Green Eggs and Soup

There are more. There are always more. But I think you get the point, so ...

Give it a try. What can you come up with?

Keep the comments coming!

Nothing like stating the blatantly obvious

"A management information system is an information system designed to aid in the performance of management functions."

"Scheduled reports are produced periodically, or on a schedule, such as daily, weekly, or monthly."

"Demand reports are developed to give certain information upon request. In other words, these reports are produced on demand."

I'm so glad I'm taking the time to read all the material in this course. I'm sure little trinkets such as these will prove amazingly valuable.

Gold!

(Keep in mind, 35% of the people will fail this course ... I'll probably be one of those, as I'm tempting fate by making fun of my textbook.)

Said and heard

He said:
Honey, when do you think you might get a chance to do some laundry?

She heard:
Get off the couch and wash my clothes, you lazy woman! It's not as though you have anything else to do. And stop eating those bonbons; you'll chunk out, and I don't want a fat wife. Besides, I paid for those candies with my hard earned money. Because I work for a living. Unlike you. I just can't believe you haven't washed my clothes yet. Now I don't have anything decent to wear tonight when I go to watch the strippers. All because of the "baby". Yeah. Right.

**********

Come now. You must learn to laugh at yourselves. It's funny. Really.

Wait. What are you doing with that shotgun? No, seriously! We're laughing with you! With you!

Arise and walk, my son

J walked today. He's taken maybe a step or two before, going between objects, as he cruises around holding onto the furniture. But today, he took around 5 little steps, totally unsupported. First he stood unsupported for quite some time, and then he walked over to the cardboard box that he was wanting.

I was happy that I was there to see it. I would have been sad to have missed that milestone.

J has cut more teeth. He now has 3 teeth on the bottom and 4 on top. Hopefully soon, he will be able to eat more solid food. He's still mostly into pureed food, unless it's a bread product. He ate french fries, and thought they were kind of yummy. But we won't give them to him often. I hope he'll learn to eat better very soon. We'll keep working at that one.

Tonight, J decided that he is the jealous type. We went to visit a friend who has two young children, one being a baby just a couple of months older than J. I tickled the baby. J sat there, watching us. Then he snarled. And then he growled. (Seriously! He actually went "Grrrrrrrrrr".) Apparently, I am not to pay attention to strange babies. It angers the J.

Can't wait until this exam is over, and then I can hang with J more through summer. I feel good about my decision to take summer away from school. It is a wise choice. I am, as usual, less than confident about my exam. I hope I pass; I don't want to have to look at this course again. The next 17 days promise to be extremely busy. I will be missing my family horribly as I hang out away from home, trying to get through the last 2 modules and prepare for my exam. (I can't get anything done here.)

17 more days of crazy panicked studying, and then my life is mostly my own again for nearly 3 whole months! YIPPEE!!

Things you never thought you'd hear yourself say

"What's with the big cockroach with your name glued to it?"

On the God complex

Some folks seem to have a God complex.

I already have a God. And my belief system just doesn't indicate that you could possibly be God. There are certain requirements which must be met. My God has met those requirements. You have not. I'm good with that.

But maybe you really are God. I sort of don't think so. But really, who am I to argue?

Tell you what; if I nail you to a cross and hang you until you're dead, and you rise again in three days, I'll agree that you are God, and you will have my undying respect and adulation. Let's give that a try, shall we?

No?

Well, then SHUT UP!

Please forgive the initials, but ...

I am taking the summer off! I need to do well at work, and I want time to play with J and hang out with H. And I've been working really hard at school. So I will not be taking a summer course.

This is a fortunate decision, as there are no courses being offered that I both need and have the prerequisites for. But I could have taken one in concurrent studies, and I am not going to do it. So there.

However, this brings me to a dilemma for next year's course offerings.

I've gotten a list of course offerings proposed for the 2006-07 school year. I'm reviewing them, and trying to plan out my course schedule. I want to try for the Award of Excellence for Level 3, if at all possible. It's a prestigious award, and worth $1,000. So I'd sure like to get it if I can. But ... (Now here we get to the whole "initials" reference.)

If I take FA3 (Level 3) in fall (and I must, as it is the only course being offered that I need and have the prerequisites for), I can't get EM1 (Level 1) in winter and QU1 (Level 2) in spring, as I had hoped. The reason for this is that awards criteria stipulate that one additional Level 3 course must be completed prior to June. I could take FA3 in fall, EM1 in winter, and TX1 in spring. But that would leave me without the prerequisites to take a summer course. Or I could take FA3 in fall, QU1 in winter, TX1 in spring, and either of MA2 or AU1 in summer. The difficulty with that being that I would need EM1 to qualify for enrollment in FN1 (Level 3), and I need Level 3 complete in order to get acceptance to LU. Furthermore, FN1 is a prerequisite to the Level 4 FA course. And to complicate the situation even further, EM1 and FN1 are always offered in the same semester, making them very difficult to get.

The other options I have are: Take FA3 in fall, EM1 in winter, TX1 in spring, and FN1 through concurrent studies in summer ... OR ... Take no course in fall, EM1 in winter, QU1 in spring, and possibly MA2 in summer ... OR ... Take no course in fall, EM1 in winter, QU1 in spring, and no course in summer ...

Or I could just forego trying for the Level 3 Award of Excellence, and take what I want to take, grabbing FA3 in fall, EM1 in winter, QU1 in spring, and possibly catching BC1 (Level 3 business case) or maybe TX1 in summer.

If you're still reading, I commend you. Let me know what you think.

Weaned

J weaned himself yesterday.

He doesn't care that I'm not home looking after him anymore. And he doesn't want to breastfeed anymore.

My baby doesn't need me anymore.

Chicks and Ducks and Geese Better Scurry

It's time for another "Conversations of the Car" segment. Here goes:

On Lifestyles of the Rich and Shameless

T: Would you look at that monstrosity of a house?

H: Huge. Hideous!

T: Wait a second; is that a mallard on the front lawn?

H: Yes. And a goose too!

T: I wonder if those people own those birds. Maybe they're pets.

H: Wouldn't surprise me. I'll bet they also have a bunch of endangered species in their backyard.

T: And they regularly kill them. And feed them to the mallard.

H: Because they can!

And an Internet connection for my dishwasher

According to my textbook:

In addition to computers, many other devices can be connected to the Internet, including cell phones, PDAs, and home appliances.

Interesting. Home appliances, huh?

Riiiiiight.

22 pages on the Internet??

Yes, that's right. A 22-page textbook reading on what the Internet is and what services it holds. A 22-page reading. On that.

Whatever.

On a related note, I am seriously considering skipping Module 9 in its entirety (or at least saving it until the very end as an "if I have time, I'll do this" thing), because my exam blueprint says Module 9 will comprise only 3-5% of my exam.

But there never seems to be enough time

Really far behind now. Don't know how I'll ever get caught up. Midterm is done. But took so much time it was ridiculous. New job is fun, but draining. Busy. And when I get home, I want to spend time with J rather than studying. I miss him during the day. It's hard.

I should be finishing up Module 9 this weekend. But instead, I'm finishing up Module 7. Exam on June 8. Last quiz due in just under 2 weeks, on Modules 9 & 10. Somehow, I've got to get caught up. But there's not enough time, and I don't know how.

Exhausted.

J got his wagon in the mail. It's cool! It's really big, holds 2 children, and has seatbelts, 2 cupholders and under-seat storage. Of course, J prefers to sit on the floor between the 2 seats. That's fine; so long as he's happy. He likes his new wagon.

Cat has started peeing outside the box. Bad kitty. Vet this weekend.

So tired. So very tired.

Things you never thought you'd hear yourself say

T: "Please don't hit Mommy with the car."

- and -

H: "It'd be just like Footloose, but with riding mowers."

Baby!

H got a promotion. It is very exciting. He wants to buy himself something to celebrate. And the obvious purchase would be one of his fancy-shmancy car models that he's been collecting for years. But they already line bookshelves and walls throughout the house, taking up far too much room in my tiny little office, and we are running out of room for them. Besides, H is never one to go for the obvious. And so he sat this evening, contemplating. What to buy?

And then it hit him. And he knew what to get. A new baby!

But he's talked himself out of it now. His logic went something like this.

A new baby is very expensive, after all. And the old one is still in pretty good shape. Doesn't have a lot of miles on it yet; really, it's only been up the stairs a few times. And if we get a new one, we'll be arguing over who gets it. 'Cause the old baby's really starting to show its age. And it has no heat, and just talks incessantly in that bad AM radio way, 'cause that's the only station it gets. Besides, none of its controls work. And it doesn't even come with power locks! But it'll do in a pinch. The old baby is still pretty reliable, really, despite its shortcomings. And, as we all know, a new baby will lose 20% of its value as soon as you drive it off the lot. Bad investment. No new baby.

I think H is a bit confused...

Tired

Six questions down and three to go to complete my midterm, which is due this Wednesday. Four quizzes done and one to go to complete the quiz component (last quiz due in just over 2 weeks). Final exam on June 8. I know that I will be prepared to write. I am not prepared now, of course. And obviously, I shouldn't be; I have another month!

Yesterday. Yesterday, J should have been one year old. Tomorrow. Tomorrow, J will be 13 months old. Pondering that just now. Wishing I could have held out the extra month. Feeling guilt tonight. I let him down.

Went to Izzy's 4th birthday party today. J gave her a digital camera. It was very costly; H and I had to sit through an entire timeshare presentation to get it. But Izzy is worth it. It worked when we got it. But it wasn't working today. I desperately hope the batteries are just dead, and that the camera will work once they are replaced. I'd hate to disappoint Izzy.

Tired. Must go to bed. But first, must pill and feed cats. (Put cat in her pajamas, lock J in the bathroom with the cat food ...)

Tired.

Second Cup closes at eleven

Well, here it is, 11:10, and I've been waiting up for you. I'm tired. I'll be giving up soon and going to bed. I guess I should have done so awhile ago, really. But I wanted to wait up. I wanted to see you tonight. I miss you. And besides, you promised to bring me back my favorite beverage when you returned.

But here it is, 11:10. And there is no sign of you. They're closed by now. And I'm grumpy and irritable about that. You should be home. And you didn't take the cell phone, so I can't even reach you and find out what's going on.

I feel lonely. Baby's been asleep since 9:00, and I've been by myself. Why aren't you home?

And where is my frozen hot chocolate?

Lost: One brain

Today, I got to work on an actual file. I actually didn't have to fly solo; the senior tech ran the file and gave me a few tasks. But I'm nervous that I will fall flat on my face, because I had no idea how to do a number of the tasks I was assigned, and I kept having to get extra direction, sometimes more than once. The senior tech is really, unbelievably good at this, and I feel so dim next to her, not having any idea how things work. Okay, granted, she's been in this line of work for 37 years, and I just started 3 days ago. But still!

The highly specialized software confuses me. The templates don't make sense to me yet, and like an idiot, I can't figure out how to fill in the blanks. I'm confused, and honestly quite scared that I won't be able to learn it all.

I want to learn it. I want this job to work out. They seem so nice there. It's a choice job, and I want to keep it. I'm frustrated. I'm usually quicker on the uptake than I was today. Maybe tomorrow I'll do better.

Man alive, I miss my brain! I wonder where it has run off to. If you find it, would you please return it to me? Thanks!

Quick update

Went back to work yesterday. Done training now, and will get to start working on files tomorrow. Lots to learn. Procedures and new software. Tough.

It's a nice place. People are friendly. Perks are fantastic. I think I'll like it, if I can get past being away from J for so long.

J actually seems unscathed by the transition. But I have a tough time being away from him for so long. It hits me hard around 10:00, when we should be watching Sesame Street together. Just a silly little thing. I'll adapt. I have to.

Got my course grade back. I don't have exam stats yet, but I passed. I got 94%, which works out to 95% on the final and my quiz components that brought it down a percent. I am happy.

Behind in my current course, though. I have to eat dinner and then get back to it. Midterm and next quiz due next week. Ick!