Saturday, December 09, 2006

I will no longer be an overachiever

I have deemed it so.

In the past, I got really high grades in school. I thought I needed them, and maybe I did at the time. Now, I can't seem to get those high grades any longer. I cared about that until today. I don't really care any longer. I have no time to care about such frivolity.

I work full-time. I have a husband and a young son. And I am in school. That's a pretty good load. I do not need to beat myself up for finding it difficult. It is supposed to be difficult. Anyone who says otherwise is selling something.

I am not in school for the glory. I am not doing this for myself. I am doing this so that my family can have a better time of things down the road a spell. So long as I finish my schooling, that will happen. It will happen, whether I get 90's or 70's, or just squeak by with that required 65. It will still happen.

I am not working for the glory. I am working to pay the bills. If I need time for myself or my family, I will take it. If I am stressed out and need a moment to breathe and chill out, I will take it. I work hard when I am at the office, and I put in the necessary hours to meet deadlines. I am glad that I work for an employer who understands that work is there to fund your life, not replace it. It is good.

Life is different now. I have less time available for homework, because I choose to spend every moment that I can with my husband and son. I think that is a good decision, bursting with appropriately placed priorities. I work hard, but my family will always come first. Just as they should.

So let me get the 65. I will be happy with that 65. I don't know if I got it, but I hope I did. Anything that doesn't involve a rewrite is good. Why? Because a rewrite would mean homework and studying, which would take me away from my family. And I don't want to be away from my family.

Someday, I hope to finish my schooling. And I plan to do so. But I also plan to do a lot of other things. And the most important item on the list is make time for my family.

I refuse to make myself sick worrying and stressing about school. Will I continue to care? Sure. Will I be proud of myself if I do well? Sure. Will I continue to be an overachiever? Well ... it's a hard habit to break, but I sure do aim to try.

Wish list: Less work; more play!

(It's a peaceful post. It's a pleasant post. It is a post free from stress, animosity, and ire. Clearly, my exam is over. Woot!!)


Rigmor said...

And the most important things can't be graded. There are lots of areas in your life that you can over-achieve on without even knowing; family, friends, and so on.

It is good to perform well, it feels good to perform well, but high marks aren't the most imporant thing in the world after all. (It took me a little too long to realise that )

Draya's Mom said...

Good attitude and so true!
If it helps, you would get 100% on being a good mom, wife & friend! THOSE are the 'marks' that count in life. Nobody really wants "Excellent Accountant" on their tombstone.

Liz said...

Nobody really wants "Excellent Accountant" on their tombstone.

They don't?!?!


Trish said...

I love you guys!