I will no longer be an overachiever

I have deemed it so.

In the past, I got really high grades in school. I thought I needed them, and maybe I did at the time. Now, I can't seem to get those high grades any longer. I cared about that until today. I don't really care any longer. I have no time to care about such frivolity.

I work full-time. I have a husband and a young son. And I am in school. That's a pretty good load. I do not need to beat myself up for finding it difficult. It is supposed to be difficult. Anyone who says otherwise is selling something.

I am not in school for the glory. I am not doing this for myself. I am doing this so that my family can have a better time of things down the road a spell. So long as I finish my schooling, that will happen. It will happen, whether I get 90's or 70's, or just squeak by with that required 65. It will still happen.

I am not working for the glory. I am working to pay the bills. If I need time for myself or my family, I will take it. If I am stressed out and need a moment to breathe and chill out, I will take it. I work hard when I am at the office, and I put in the necessary hours to meet deadlines. I am glad that I work for an employer who understands that work is there to fund your life, not replace it. It is good.

Life is different now. I have less time available for homework, because I choose to spend every moment that I can with my husband and son. I think that is a good decision, bursting with appropriately placed priorities. I work hard, but my family will always come first. Just as they should.

So let me get the 65. I will be happy with that 65. I don't know if I got it, but I hope I did. Anything that doesn't involve a rewrite is good. Why? Because a rewrite would mean homework and studying, which would take me away from my family. And I don't want to be away from my family.

Someday, I hope to finish my schooling. And I plan to do so. But I also plan to do a lot of other things. And the most important item on the list is make time for my family.

I refuse to make myself sick worrying and stressing about school. Will I continue to care? Sure. Will I be proud of myself if I do well? Sure. Will I continue to be an overachiever? Well ... it's a hard habit to break, but I sure do aim to try.

Wish list: Less work; more play!

(It's a peaceful post. It's a pleasant post. It is a post free from stress, animosity, and ire. Clearly, my exam is over. Woot!!)