Friday, December 08, 2006

I hope I passed

I feel like I was just kicked in the gut.

I don't want to see anyone. Ever. I just want to sit in my house and cry.

I had 97% going into that exam. I'd worked really hard. I'd studied really hard. I'd run all kinds of past exams, plus the practice exam, and had done reasonably well on all of them. I was really hoping to keep my grade high and qualify for scholarship money again this year. And now, I have no idea if I even managed to get enough marks to pass the stupid course. And I feel really despondent about the whole thing.

Of course, I may surprise myself. I may get a grade really stupidly incredibly high. But if I do, it would be a nice fluke, because I was grasping at straws an awful lot.

I am sad. I don't know if I should even be taking these courses. It's a Level 3 course, and there are 5 levels in total. I'm struggling so hard with Level 3 ... how am I going to make it through Level 5?

I am hard on myself. I know that. But I really question my intelligence just now. Partway through the multiple choice, I actually checked the front page of the exam again, just to make sure it was for the right course.

I feel stupid and pathetic.
I feel tired.
I feel hungry.

I am going to sleep now.

1 comment:

Mary said...

I am sure you passed. Just as sure, you are, that I passed, I know you have. We ALL had the same feelings coming out of the exam. I think we will all be pleasantly surprised with how well we did.

And I think we need to see you today. You deserve love and support. We love you. Never forget that. That will never change. No matter what mark you get in Stupid FA3.