H: Don't you hate the "Apple Jacks" jingle? It's so annoying! "A is for Apple. J is for Jacks". As if we don't know that!
T: Well, really, you can use pretty much any word combination and come up with something that makes about as much sense. "H is for Hippo. S is for Slaw. Cinnamon toasted Hippo Slaw". See how that works?
H: Now that's just silly. Obviously, Hippo Slaw is a salad, so it should be served cold. Why would you toast it?
**********
(With J screaming in the backseat, and T in need of medication.)
T: Did you see that sign?
H: Yes. I saw it.
T: "Chips & Crack"???
H: They're talking about windshield repair.
T: I know. But it sounds tasty right about now.
H: "C is for Chips. C is for Crack. Cinnamon toasted Chips & Crack". You're right; it does work with anything.
Saturday, July 15, 2006
Wednesday, July 12, 2006
J and the hospital
Well, for the second time in the past year, I have had to take my son to the hospital for testing. I have had to take time away from work. I have had to pay for parking. And I have been told the same thing each time.
There is nothing physically wrong with my son. He can hear; he's just ignoring us. He can eat; he just doesn't want to. Because he is stubborn. Stubborn and headstrong and contrary.
I don't know why he is like that. He must get it from his Auntie Holly.
There is nothing physically wrong with my son. He can hear; he's just ignoring us. He can eat; he just doesn't want to. Because he is stubborn. Stubborn and headstrong and contrary.
I don't know why he is like that. He must get it from his Auntie Holly.
The following conversation took place ...
Howard? This is Howard. Listen. When you get this, could you please call me back and tell me how to use my bleedin' voice mail?
Don't leave a message. I won't get it.
Don't leave a message. I won't get it.
Tuesday, July 11, 2006
Seething
RAGE!! RAGE!!!
PayPal continues to suck.
And don't send me customer service satisfaction surveys when you clearly don't care what I think of you and have no desire to provide me with effective service in any event!
Now process my refund, give me back my 50 bleeding cents, and let me be done with you.
Why is that so hard?
**********
Yes. Your assertions are correct. Irrelevant and inconsequential. But correct. Good for you.
Collect two IQ points from petty cash, and go home.
**********
J's appointment is tomorrow. So tomorrow, I have to take my precious little boy who I love more than life itself to the hospital. Where they will try to make him vomit to see why he is so fussy and doesn't eat.
Maybe it's because he doesn't want to vomit. Maybe it's painful to puke. Ever think of that?
**********
I am a little black raincloud...
PayPal continues to suck.
And don't send me customer service satisfaction surveys when you clearly don't care what I think of you and have no desire to provide me with effective service in any event!
Now process my refund, give me back my 50 bleeding cents, and let me be done with you.
Why is that so hard?
**********
Yes. Your assertions are correct. Irrelevant and inconsequential. But correct. Good for you.
Collect two IQ points from petty cash, and go home.
**********
J's appointment is tomorrow. So tomorrow, I have to take my precious little boy who I love more than life itself to the hospital. Where they will try to make him vomit to see why he is so fussy and doesn't eat.
Maybe it's because he doesn't want to vomit. Maybe it's painful to puke. Ever think of that?
**********
I am a little black raincloud...
Monday, July 10, 2006
Cherries are yummy
Nez's blog reminded me. Our Nanking Cherry produced a bit more this year. Still not many berries out there, but there were some. Over time, it's expected to be a heavy producer, and we can expect many pounds of yummy cherries each July. They're smaller than Okanogan cherries, and a nice bright red. And you have to get to them fast, because the birds like them too. And oh my lord, are they ever good! Really sweet and juicy, and totally delicious, you can eat them right off the shrub or make cherry jelly. If you have the time. Or the skill. Or the inclination. None of which apply to me. As if there were any doubt.
Mmmmm ... cherries. We planted the shrub by our front veranda, and the branches grow through the slats so we can pick the fruit and enjoy it while hanging out on our nicely shaded porch swing. How freakin' suburbia is that??
**********
And in other news, PayPal sucks!
Apparently, when a dishonest vendor makes false promises to provide goods and then fails to deliver, you're on your own. And when said vendor eventually 'fesses up and refunds your money, it's still no good. Why? Because you were forced to pay with PayPal. And PayPal sucks.
In order to receive your refund, you are first required to set up an unwanted PayPal account. And then you have to jump through a bunch of hoops and request your refund from the PayPal system. And they make you pay a service charge in order to get back the money that was essentially stolen from you in the first place.
I hate them so much. Almost as much as I hate the dishonest vendor.
Almost.
All this, just because I want to get my child a set of Peter Rabbit books that are out of print now. They were my favorites as a child. I want him to have them. And I'm feeling rather taken-advantage-of just at the moment over the whole thing.
PayPal sucks. (Have I mentioned that?)
Mmmmm ... cherries. We planted the shrub by our front veranda, and the branches grow through the slats so we can pick the fruit and enjoy it while hanging out on our nicely shaded porch swing. How freakin' suburbia is that??
**********
And in other news, PayPal sucks!
Apparently, when a dishonest vendor makes false promises to provide goods and then fails to deliver, you're on your own. And when said vendor eventually 'fesses up and refunds your money, it's still no good. Why? Because you were forced to pay with PayPal. And PayPal sucks.
In order to receive your refund, you are first required to set up an unwanted PayPal account. And then you have to jump through a bunch of hoops and request your refund from the PayPal system. And they make you pay a service charge in order to get back the money that was essentially stolen from you in the first place.
I hate them so much. Almost as much as I hate the dishonest vendor.
Almost.
All this, just because I want to get my child a set of Peter Rabbit books that are out of print now. They were my favorites as a child. I want him to have them. And I'm feeling rather taken-advantage-of just at the moment over the whole thing.
PayPal sucks. (Have I mentioned that?)
Saturday, July 08, 2006
Depressed
Too much has come up in the last month or so. Funds are now very tight. And the credit card company actually phoned to find out if we were the ones using the card.
We were.
Feeling blue. At least I'm back at work, so we should be able to handle it, given a bit of time. It's been a few emergency situations, but honestly, it's mostly of our own making. Which is no consolation.
I hate debt.
We were.
Feeling blue. At least I'm back at work, so we should be able to handle it, given a bit of time. It's been a few emergency situations, but honestly, it's mostly of our own making. Which is no consolation.
I hate debt.
Friday, July 07, 2006
He loves popsicles
Yes, popsicles are yummy. J has no flavor preference, but will eat any of cherry, grape, or orange popsicles. They can even entice him away from our electronic components for a short time. Good for hot weather, and good for entertaining J. Popsicles are a favorite in the household now.
We went to an air-conditioned mall the other night to stay cool. We stopped off to visit Uncle A. J insisted that he be carried instead of being pushed in the stroller. While carrying J, something seemed odd. I looked down, and realized that J had managed to wriggle out of his diaper, and it was kind of wrapped around one ankle, providing no protection whatsoever. We quickly remedied the problem, and then continued on to show Uncle A the rather ... questionable ... lamp we had seen earlier. Stopped at the games store also, where we saw a Spongebob Squarepants Frisbee. ("It's Spongebob Squarepants. But it's round", I cried out. And the salesperson laughed appreciatively, insisting that he hadn't heard that one before.) J had fun at the mall. Ate half a hotdog, then gagged and threw up, of course. What else is new. I eagerly await his appointment.
Yesterday, J apparently ate raspberries and blueberries. Not mashed or cut up, either. Whole berries. He thought they were delicious. But we weren't there to see it. He really won't do it for us. I wonder what's up with that.
There are a couple of new games J will play now. He enjoys playing tag, and will run into the kitchen and entice us to chase him about. This is all good, as long as the oven isn't on. We need a second gate to keep him away from the hot oven. Last night, J chased H into the kitchen, then locked him in the bathroom. Silly child!
The other new game is this: If you ask J "Where's your nose?", he will wrinkle his nose up and snort at you. So cute!
However, what is not cute is this: J has decided that H is not permitted to cuddle him before sleep any longer. We tried to let H do this little job last night. And J retaliated, and decided to stay awake until 1:00, when I had to pick him up and give him a quick 15 minute snuggle. Then he went to sleep.
I am tired. It was a long day yesterday. It's been hot. I'm glad it's Friday.
We went to an air-conditioned mall the other night to stay cool. We stopped off to visit Uncle A. J insisted that he be carried instead of being pushed in the stroller. While carrying J, something seemed odd. I looked down, and realized that J had managed to wriggle out of his diaper, and it was kind of wrapped around one ankle, providing no protection whatsoever. We quickly remedied the problem, and then continued on to show Uncle A the rather ... questionable ... lamp we had seen earlier. Stopped at the games store also, where we saw a Spongebob Squarepants Frisbee. ("It's Spongebob Squarepants. But it's round", I cried out. And the salesperson laughed appreciatively, insisting that he hadn't heard that one before.) J had fun at the mall. Ate half a hotdog, then gagged and threw up, of course. What else is new. I eagerly await his appointment.
Yesterday, J apparently ate raspberries and blueberries. Not mashed or cut up, either. Whole berries. He thought they were delicious. But we weren't there to see it. He really won't do it for us. I wonder what's up with that.
There are a couple of new games J will play now. He enjoys playing tag, and will run into the kitchen and entice us to chase him about. This is all good, as long as the oven isn't on. We need a second gate to keep him away from the hot oven. Last night, J chased H into the kitchen, then locked him in the bathroom. Silly child!
The other new game is this: If you ask J "Where's your nose?", he will wrinkle his nose up and snort at you. So cute!
However, what is not cute is this: J has decided that H is not permitted to cuddle him before sleep any longer. We tried to let H do this little job last night. And J retaliated, and decided to stay awake until 1:00, when I had to pick him up and give him a quick 15 minute snuggle. Then he went to sleep.
I am tired. It was a long day yesterday. It's been hot. I'm glad it's Friday.
Monday, July 03, 2006
It's too darned hot
Poor little J is constantly thirsty and sweaty. Both ceiling fans are going non-stop. I have a sunburn for the second time in my life. My hair is soaked with sweat. I keep getting headaches ...
It's way too hot.
Today, I couldn't even eat, I was feeling so ill from the heat. Me. Not eating. Can you believe it? If this keeps up, I may eventually lose my lovely beachball-like shape! And it's taken me years of inactivity and cheeseburger eatin' to achieve it. What a shame!
Seriously though. These days, every day that I am off of work, I take J for a walk around the lake in the mornings. A nice high-paced walk. We go past the big $750,000 houses, and down around the lake, and then up past the moderately lower priced houses with the fancy landscaping (waterfalls optional) and back home. I'm trying to get more exercise and shed some of these unwanted pounds. But it's not working. I'm still gaining weight, and am getting really irritated about it.
Okay. Yes. There is a lake in our neighbourhood. Though what it's good for, I can't begin to imagine. There are signs all over the place. "No wading. No swimming. Boating is not recommended. Do not throw rocks in the lake (Bylaw xxx)". No throwing ROCKS in the water?!?! Why the heck not??? I guess the lake's entire purpose is to look pretty. It does. Objective met.
Pretty view or not, I still think $750,000 for a house in my community is a wee bit unreasonable.
Hot. Tired. Sticky. Getting grumpy.
I am glad that my office is air-conditioned. I wish my car were as well; it gets so hot these days I can't even hold the steering wheel when I leave the office for the day. Makes driving home interesting. But the office is air-conditioned, and there, I will get some relief. Maybe I'll even be able to EAT!!
Shorter days now; summer hours. I can't wait for morning.
It's way too hot.
Today, I couldn't even eat, I was feeling so ill from the heat. Me. Not eating. Can you believe it? If this keeps up, I may eventually lose my lovely beachball-like shape! And it's taken me years of inactivity and cheeseburger eatin' to achieve it. What a shame!
Seriously though. These days, every day that I am off of work, I take J for a walk around the lake in the mornings. A nice high-paced walk. We go past the big $750,000 houses, and down around the lake, and then up past the moderately lower priced houses with the fancy landscaping (waterfalls optional) and back home. I'm trying to get more exercise and shed some of these unwanted pounds. But it's not working. I'm still gaining weight, and am getting really irritated about it.
Okay. Yes. There is a lake in our neighbourhood. Though what it's good for, I can't begin to imagine. There are signs all over the place. "No wading. No swimming. Boating is not recommended. Do not throw rocks in the lake (Bylaw xxx)". No throwing ROCKS in the water?!?! Why the heck not??? I guess the lake's entire purpose is to look pretty. It does. Objective met.
Pretty view or not, I still think $750,000 for a house in my community is a wee bit unreasonable.
Hot. Tired. Sticky. Getting grumpy.
I am glad that my office is air-conditioned. I wish my car were as well; it gets so hot these days I can't even hold the steering wheel when I leave the office for the day. Makes driving home interesting. But the office is air-conditioned, and there, I will get some relief. Maybe I'll even be able to EAT!!
Shorter days now; summer hours. I can't wait for morning.
Sunday, July 02, 2006
An open letter to two miserable old crones
Dear Miserable Old Crones,
It must be so tiring to be you.
Contrary to your own opinions, when you purchased your house, you did not also purchase the entire street that runs past it. And if people want to drive down that street, they can. It is not a private road. It is a public street that just happens to dead end by the playground. A very nice playground, I might add. A playground that our son will quite enjoy playing in. Every weekend from now on. Just to tick you off. I don't even care that it's out of our way! If it annoys you, that's good enough for me.
We drove slowly down the street. And we sat patiently and waited while you crossed the street, ever so slowly. It was a lazy day, and we were okay with the fact that you wanted to take your time. We didn't even bat an eye. It was apparent you have limited mobility. Even if you hadn't, we wouldn't have minded you meandering.
But when you turned around and indignantly lifted your cane over your head and shook it at us while the both of you shrilly screamed "This isn't a public road, y'know! It's private!! GET OUT!!!", we became sorely tempted to strangle you slowly with your very own oxygen lines. Not that we would ever do it. But it gives us little tingles of pleasure to think about it, you understand.
I am grateful that my little son was sleeping peacefully at the time, and that you did not scare him with your Halloween-ish antics. Had you frightened him, hurt his feelings, or otherwise made him cry, you may have forced me to do something I would have regretted. Because it is hard to get blood out of my clothes.
Enjoy your lovely house. I know I will enjoy staring openly at it, as I park my car on your public street directly in front of it on a very regular basis, revving the engine and playing my stereo loudly.
Do you like Ozzy? No? Good!
It must be so tiring to be you.
Contrary to your own opinions, when you purchased your house, you did not also purchase the entire street that runs past it. And if people want to drive down that street, they can. It is not a private road. It is a public street that just happens to dead end by the playground. A very nice playground, I might add. A playground that our son will quite enjoy playing in. Every weekend from now on. Just to tick you off. I don't even care that it's out of our way! If it annoys you, that's good enough for me.
We drove slowly down the street. And we sat patiently and waited while you crossed the street, ever so slowly. It was a lazy day, and we were okay with the fact that you wanted to take your time. We didn't even bat an eye. It was apparent you have limited mobility. Even if you hadn't, we wouldn't have minded you meandering.
But when you turned around and indignantly lifted your cane over your head and shook it at us while the both of you shrilly screamed "This isn't a public road, y'know! It's private!! GET OUT!!!", we became sorely tempted to strangle you slowly with your very own oxygen lines. Not that we would ever do it. But it gives us little tingles of pleasure to think about it, you understand.
I am grateful that my little son was sleeping peacefully at the time, and that you did not scare him with your Halloween-ish antics. Had you frightened him, hurt his feelings, or otherwise made him cry, you may have forced me to do something I would have regretted. Because it is hard to get blood out of my clothes.
Enjoy your lovely house. I know I will enjoy staring openly at it, as I park my car on your public street directly in front of it on a very regular basis, revving the engine and playing my stereo loudly.
Do you like Ozzy? No? Good!
Saturday, July 01, 2006
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