Because mouse poop is funny

So apparently, if you don't post for a few months, the spammers come and get you. They put comments in random posts, thinking you won't notice.

I NOTICE!! I DELETE YOU!! HAPPILY!!

So for the sake of dissuading the spammers, I shall post. Though I've still not a great deal to say. I'm going through something of a depressive period, and I can't organize my thoughts coherently. It's easier not to write. But write, I shall. For it is now apparent that the penalty for writer's block is spam in droves, and that is unacceptable to me.

Feel free to skip this nonsensical post if you like. I just haven't got much to say.

*sigh*

First things first: I got scholarships! Two scholarships! One of them is a coveted national award. Annually, there's only one of these granted in each level. And I took it for Level 4. So I'm happy. There's cash involved. Now I can afford to buy tires. Because they continue to be punctured on a fairly regular basis. I still don't know why, but continue my conspiracy theories.

Secondly, J was moved into Pre-Kindergarten at school. I thought I had another year of preschool, but Pre-K is here. I'm getting used to it. He likes it a lot.

J says many funny things these days. But by the time I get to my computer, I've usually forgotten. I live in something of a fog lately, I'm afraid. But off the top of my head:

J: When I get big, I'm going to paint all the street lights green.

J: Can we go to the AC/DC Centre?
Note: This is J's term for the "ACT Centre", a pool and rec centre that he really enjoys.

J: Today, we talked about our favourite books at show and tell. Thali's favourite book is called 'Diarrhea Mouse'.
T: I think you mean 'Diary of a Mouse'.
J: No. It's 'Diarrhea Mouse'.
T: 'Diary of a Mouse'?
J: No. 'Diarrhea Mouse'.
H: J. Is the book about a mouse that sits on the toilet all the time and does absolutely nothing else? Or is it about a mouse that writes in a little book?
J: Oooooh ... [giggle] It's about a mouse that writes.
T: Ah. 'Diary of a Mouse'.

The final thing that I shall report on is N. Who is sick. Constantly. He's having teething issues. He had a flu bug a week or two ago. He now has a cold with fever. He is rather inconsolable. Last night, he even cried during bathtime. Poor little Pineapple.

There. I posted. Now quit spamming my comments, you nasty robots!

Da Victory and Da Feet

My exam is over. (HURRAH! HURRAH!)

I think it went pretty well. I lost several marks for careless errors, but that happens. I feel fairly certain that I passed. Probably with something in the 70's or maybe low 80's. Probably not high enough for scholarship money this year, but as long as I don't have to redo the class or re-write the exam, I'll count myself fortunate. Sad, though ... that scholarship sure would have been nice.

Marks get released January 27. I hate the long wait, but that's how it always is. Now, on to my next course ... Auditing. I hope I enjoy this one a bit more.

Since I have been released from my studying dungeon for the time being, I now have time to post this little anecdote.

**********
I took a brief study break one evening last week, and we went out for dinner as a family. I left the table for a short time to change N's diaper, and H entertained J.

There was a nice man sitting at a nearby table who thought J was pretty cute. Kept calling J "Batman", wanting to play peek-a-boo, that sort of thing. While I was gone, he caught J's eye, and he smiled and waved. And J flipped out. "Daddy, I'm scared", J cried out, before hiding in a teeny huddled mass in H's lap.

Once he felt more secure, he decided to strike up a converation with the nice man, who we will call Bert, for the sake of this entry.

J: My mommy broke her knee.
Bert: Did she?
J: Yes. She stepped on the cat and broke her knee.
Bert: Oh! Well ... Is the cat okay?
H: Yes, the cat is fine.
J: But she had to go down to heaven.

Okay, just to clarify this. The cat went to heaven because she'd had kidney failure for the past eight years and was starting to suffer. Not because I crushed her with my giant lard feet of doom.

Also, I know that heaven is "up". I've explained this on several occasions, but J seems unconvinced.

Got my coin

It was a lovely awards luncheon. And my voice is almost entirely back to normal now, so I was able to converse with the folks at my table. I am happy about that. They were all very nice, and it was a pleasant afternoon. I was so glad to be able to attend. Many award winners were unable to attend the awards luncheon. What a shame!

Today, I was happy to learn that the 78% I got in my last course will not disqualify me from Top 10 New Member status when I graduate. Someday. In the very distant future. Apparently, it's the PACE level that really impacts whether I can get that particular honor. I have a long way to go to even reach the PACE level. I feel discouraged. I wish I could finish faster. Faster, and for less money. But I can't.

Those who work with me are happy that I received a scholarship. I am happy too, of course. But I am also tired of being a responsible adult. I want to revert back to childhood and be reckless and silly for a while.

The responsible thing to do with the scholarship money is to use it to pay off some of the debt I incurred in registering for this latest course. I am aware of this. And it is what the money is designed for. To do anything else would be pure foolishness. So that is what will happen to my cheque. But really, I just want to go shopping!

H and I have struck a deal. We need to keep a handle on our finances; it's too easy for us to overspend, and we do it far too frequently. And we really do need the money to pay for school. So I will use any scholarship money I receive to pay for my courses. But once I have my designation and my pay increases accordingly, I will be given back an amount equal to the scholarship money I have earned throughout school. (The accountant in me would like you to know that at that time I will be receiving the future value of the present amount invested at market rate.) And then, I will get to go shopping and just blow it all foolishly.

Doesn't that sound like fun?

Yes!

Do you think I'll do it?

No.

I am a responsible adult. I can be nothing else. So while I may take the money, go shopping, and spend it all, I am sure that I will buy extremely practical items that our entire household will get considerable use of. It's just who I am. And I will have many, many, many years to contemplate what those items will be, as I work towards my designation. And so all of the spontaneous joy that should come with a windfall is gone!

*sigh*

(Still, I can't be too broken up about it. Our debtload is $750 lighter now. Doesn't make much of a dent in the load, but it's still free money. And I worked hard to get it, and am really pleased that I got an award. So ... Woot!)

Cheques are always good. Unless you're the one writing them. Then, they suck.

Who says chickens can't fly?

We have a baby gate between the kitchen and living/dining room. We have to climb over the baby gate to go between the rooms. The kitchen is quite baby friendly, but it has a lot of angles to it. We still prefer that J hang out in the living room with his toys rather than in the kitchen. We can keep a better eye on him in the living room and, since he's starting to climb, it just works better that way.

We had KFC for dinner tonight. I was coming out of the kitchen with a big plate of chicken. I attempted my usual maneuver to climb over the baby gate into the living/dining room. But it didn't go as planned. There was a cat on the other side of the fence, and I stepped on her head. As I tried to move my foot, the cat tried to move her head, and ...

And that's when I lost my balance.

The result was massive carnage, as deep fried bits of chicken flew off the plate, piece by piece, landing in various spots in the living/dining room whilst I attempted to stop my fall. Unsuccessfully.

Eventually, I crashed into the side of the door leading to the basement, the chairs that are upended to prevent J from entering the little landing to the basement, and the aforementioned baby gate. It hurt. A lot.

And as I crashed, I watched helplessly as the rest of the chicken flew off the plate. Piece by piece.

Now, through all of this, H was standing in the living room, not two feet away from me. And what, might you ask, did he do? Did he try to stop my fall? Did he help me up? Or did he just stand there, doubled-over in hysterics, laughing 'til the tears ran, like a jackass? Hmm. Let's see if I can remember. While I kick him.

Now, I am bruised and appear to have several pulled muscles in my torso. But as long as I can amuse my husband, isn't that what really matters?

Yah. I hope you enjoy your floor-chicken, buddy-boy.

**********

On another note, I received a very cool letter in the mail today:

"On behalf of the [Association's] Alberta Research and Education Fund, I congratulate you on being named the recipient of the Level 2 Tuition Scholarship. This $750 award recognizes the highest average for the 2005/2006 academic year."

The letter goes on to invite H and I to a very nice luncheon at a fancy-schmancy restaurant for the awards ceremony. A cool letter! $750! Lunch! Much wootness!

I hope they don't serve chicken.

Refresher for the day

Last day before dreaded exam night. I have today and tomorrow morning/early afternoon left to prepare, and then I must stop in order to be moderately refreshed before writing the exam.

Must do:

1. The 6 remaining past and practice exams (at least 2 in exam conditions).
   
2. Refreshers on parts of modules 4 (this one is critical; I don't know it well at all, and it could be worth a significant portion of my exam), 8, 9 and 10, as I could not answer all of the "learning objectives" in these modules.
   
3. A review of "model financial statements" section of online resources.

Feeling pleased because:

1. I finally understand the cash flow statement.
   
2. I have done 9 past exams so far, and have not gotten a score below 80%.

Really wishing I weren't sick, though. It does not seem inclined to leave any time soon, so I will be sick and coughing away through my exam tomorrow night. This means that I will not be in top form and will probably not get the Award of Excellence. At this point, passing is good enough.

Latest quiz results

Got one wrong, so lost half a mark on my overall course average. Now, the highest I can get in the course is 97.5. Not bad, but unlikely to garner me that Award of Excellence I covet. I'll still try for it, though. Nothing bad can come of my trying to get it.

This was actually the most difficult quiz yet, so I am pretty darned pleased that I only got one wrong. It could have been much, much worse.

Will justice be done?

The tutor has deleted the question from Cheater and her own posted response, and has replaced them with a very clear message that the course tutor cannot answer questions from online quizzes.

I don't know if there will be any disciplinary action taken. The program stipulates that a student's first instance of proven cheating will get him or her kicked out of the course and count as an attempt at the course, and that a permanent record of a reprimand will be put on the student's file; a further instance will get said student permanently kicked out of the Association entirely. But they might give Cheater some leniency; I don't know for sure.

I hope they are not lenient about it. Cheater's behaviour was so inappropriate and unethical, I just can't believe it. And I don't think there is any way to claim ignorance; it was pretty clear what she was doing. I know that one quiz question makes a difference of only half a percent toward her final grade, but when we have students gunning for scholarships, that half a percent can be the deciding factor. Not to mention the ethics involved in the Association's Code of Conduct, and the tutor's reputation to consider. It's a pretty big deal, really.

If she gets a higher grade in this course than I do, and she walks away with the Award of Excellence, I will be severely ticked! (Steal my thousand bucks, I'm gonna ... mutter, mutter, mutter.)

I will assume that she will be appropriately disciplined, and I will feel better believing this to be the case.

Things I Learned Today

1. J may have hated baths, but he loves swimming pools.
   
   J had his first swim class today. H had to miss it, since he had to work. J and I went together. J's little friends, Andraya, Izzy and Gemma were all in the same class. J learned floating on his tummy. He thought that was lots of fun, and he even kicked his little feet. He didn't quite get as into it with his arms, and he just sort of put them out to the sides as though he were an airplane and didn't splash.
   
   He wasn't particularly fond of floating on his back, especially when he got water in his ears. And he wasn't pleased with being cold and wet and back in the change rooms after swimming class. But he did behave very well today, really enjoyed playing in the pool, and made me so very happy.
   
   It was also lots of fun for me to spend time with theatre mommy and va1kyrie today. Good friends always make for a good time!
   
   
2. Paul is allergic to nuts, and can't even be near the smell without feeling sick.
   
   And I really should have known better, too. Especially after he asked the waitress not to bring peanut butter to the table. Apparently, my brain did not function at an appropriate capacity today. I thought he was just nervous he might come into contact with peanut butter if the kids were playing around; I truly didn't realize that the smell factor was a concern.
   
   Anyway, I'm sorry, Paul. And I promise that I won't order anything peanut-ty again when you are in the room. I hope you are feeling okay.
   
   
3. H is a wonderful husband and father, and I need to learn to cut him some slack when he has an off day or so.
   
   I really do know this, but I need to be reminded from time to time. When H is tired, he isn't as helpful as usual (which is a pretty normal trait of most people). But I need to remember how wonderful he is when he is functioning at full capacity. When he has those off days, he sure feels badly after the fact. And he really does make it up to me. I'm just an impatient person, and it is hard for me to go through it at the time. Especially when I am so busy these days.
   
   H was extremely helpful to me tonight. This was really great, since I have a headache and had a lot of work to do. It was so nice to have H take J and the house well in hand when he got home from work.
   
   I love my husband so very much! He is a wonderful man.
   
   
4. Interest rates are a big pain.
   
   When dealing with notes payable and receivable, apparently if the stated rate is different from the market rate, the stated rate is used to determine cash interest payments, while the market rate is used to determine values, interest revenue and interest expense.
   
   Not too hard, really. Interesting tidbit to keep in mind. It's bound to come up on the exam. (I hope I can keep all of these interesting tidbits in my head. There are many of them, and my flash cards are quite daunting these days.)
   
   Once again, it is very helpful to be able to plug all of the information from a problem into a financial calculator. But you still need to know all the rules, since the financial calculator can't read and decipher the question.
   
   Note to self: remember all the rules.
   
   Ah, if only it were that easy...

Taking a Break

If I listen for long enough, my course lecturer eventually starts to sound kind of like Grover. If I imagine Grover delivering the lecture, it actually becomes far more entertaining. But I can't stand listening to the lectures for all that long. That is unfortunate. I need to listen to the lectures and do the review problems so that I can stay on top of the class. And I already find myself a bit behind the 8-ball on those things. I have some catching up to do on lectures and review problems. A lot of catching up to do, actually. I'm getting quite freaked out about it. I should be studying right now, but I've been going for a couple of hours now and need a bit of a break.

******************
On another note, tonight some jackass on the Ave nearly sheared off my half of the car. Here's how it went down.

A vehicle turned right from a red light without the driver (we shall simply refer to him as "Mr. Blind" for the sake of convenience) first stopping (or even apparently looking), and cut us off. H was not able to stop our car in time, so he quickly moved over into the next lane. He would have needed to do this anyway, as there were parked cars ahead. Quick thinking, but not a big deal. So far.

Then, when Mr. Blind immediately found himself about to strike a parked car, he decided to change lanes. Suddenly. Without signalling or shoulder checking. Directly into our passenger door.

Again unable to stop, H moved as far to the left as he could without hitting the vehicle beside us and, at the same time, hit the horn so as to alert Mr. Blind to the fact that we were directly beside him. Mr. Blind ignored the horn and continued unabated, and we briefly found ourselves precariously driving three abreast in two lanes of traffic. That is, of course, until Mr. Blind got so close to our car that he actually struck our mirror. Then, he decided that his game of chicken was perhaps a tad too risky.

As we pulled into a parking lot, Mr. Blind followed us. I was amazed; I thought for sure he would continue with his traffic violations and leave the scene. H got out of the car (ready to beat Mr. Blind to a pulp, by this time). Mr. Blind meekly apologized for his stupidity, and then they surveyed the two vehicles. Fortunately, there was no damage to either car. (Thank heaven for spring-loaded mirrors. I gather Mr. Blind's mirror was what hit ours, and the two mirrors survived the impact.)

So no harm done. The car is safe. We are all safe. But we were pretty ticked about the whole thing, and we aren't sure who this guy paid off to get his driver's license.

****************
Back to the books now.

Incentive

If I can get the highest grade across Canada in this course for first time writers (which highest grade must also be in the top 10 percentile for all writers, including rewrites) and if I can also pass my next two courses (winter and spring terms) with better results than my award competitors, I will receive an Award of Excellence from the national Association. It's a $1,000 cash prize.

Now, that really isn't a tremendous amount of cash when you stop to consider the amount of work and fierce competition involved in obtaining these ridiculously high marks. But we could use it anyway. Really, though, the more important thing to consider is that "Recipient of the Level 2 National Award of Excellence for 2005-06" would be a very nice thing to put on a resume.

If I get 100% on all of my remaining quizzes and the national exam, I will get a grade of 98% overall in my course. I assume some keener elsewhere in Canada will obtain a 99% or 100% at some point during the year (the course is being run three times this year), but it is possible, however unlikely it may be, that mine will be the highest score and I will get this award. Stranger things have happened. After all (I remind myself) I did get the highest grade across Alberta for the course's predecessor. (Of course (I also remind myself) someone in another province scored themselves 5% higher than I. But that is my "negative reminder", and I choose to ignore it whenever possible.)

So I am going to put my best foot forward and try with all my might to get the highest grade across the country in this course. Will it happen? Well, we will have to see. Either it will, or it won't, I suppose. And no harm can be done by trying.

On a more pleasant note, J has napped very well today (though he didn't sleep as well as I would have liked last night), and I am feeling a bit better now. I have gotten some good study time in this morning, and I hope to get more in later this afternoon. Just now, though, I need a break. And I also need some playing-with-baby time today, since I was sorely missing that last night. (I love playing-with-baby time!)

I hope to be able to go out for a walk with J shortly and show him all of the pretty fall colors. And I hope that this nasty virus will soon be behind us and our family will be all healthy in short order.

I am feeling very optimistic and happy today. I hope it continues.