Free Falling

J is up late. Talking. And throwing his soother about. If we put him in his crib, he gets progressively louder. We are exhausted and are currently taking turns walking the floor with him.

Odd things occur to you when you are passing-out-tired and the baby won't let you sleep.

****************
Dear Mr. Petty:

Much as I generally enjoy your music, I must take issue with "Free Falling". While it is an excellent song in many respects, I cite the opening lines:

"She's a good girl, loves her mama
Loves Jesus, and America too
She's a good girl, crazy 'bout Elvis
Loves horses, and her boyfriend too"

Has it occurred to you that you have rhymed "too" with "too"? This is one of the worst rhyme schemes I have ever heard, and it has annoyed me for years. There is no shortage of words that rhyme with "too". Let's explore a few possible ways of completing this lyric without repeating the word "too" at the end, shall we?

Here is my "Top 40". Let's take it from "Loves horses":

1. 'cause they make good glue
   
2. they're so fun to shoe
   
3. and cows that say "Moo"
   
4. and homemade beef stew
   
5. them horses can chew
   
6. she once thought they flew
   
7. and an actress named "Drew"
   
8. and her boyfriend, Stu
   
9. and cats; they say "Mew"
   
10. she can play the kazoo
    
11. and her boyfriend's canoe
    
12. and the Great Gazoo
    
13. and a bear named "Baloo"
    
14. coo-coo-ca-choo
    
15. she's contracted the flu
    
16. and Little Boy Blue
    
17. and Cindy-Lou Who
    
18. and her floral mumu
    
19. she can build an igloo
    
20. for a price, she'll love you
    
21. could you please buy a clue
    
22. when she gets sick, she'll spew
    
23. and a boy named "Sue"
    
24. and playing "Taboo"
    
25. and Seaworld's "Shamu"
    
26. from Katmandu
    
27. she's staging a coup
    
28. she lives in a slough
    
29. and good witches brew
    
30. and the whole cast and crew
    
31. bright with morning dew
    
32. and of course, the Haiku
    
33. Nanu Nanu
    
34. and "The Taming of the Shrew"
    
35. she invented "Yoo-hoo"
    
36. and Dogpatch's "Shmoo"
    
37. all shiny and new
    
38. skinamarinky doo
    
39. was that a kangaroo?
    
40. but not Raj Pannu

I am reasonably certain that more suggestions will be forthcoming, but you see my point.

In short: Buy a rhyming dictionary, you twit!!

Sincerely,

T